how do you deal with adults treating your child in ways you don't like
By C
@ShyBear88 (59347)
Sterling, Virginia
February 7, 2012 2:59pm CST
What do you do if you don't like how other adults are treating your child?
Do you just let them keep being mean to your kid and not tell them what they are doing is wrong or how they are deal with a certain behavior that your child is don't like? Do you let them blame your child for all kind of things that they might have learned from another person that was never correct for there behaviors?
If someone was treating my daughter badly weather I knew them well or not I would have something to say big time. If that is how they want to try there kids that is fine but they will not treat my child like that. I want them to treat my child as if I would when I'm watching and taking care of them. If they are blaming my child for things she didn't know is wrong in a manner and they get on my child for that and not there own or the child they are watching then I'm going to tell them its not fair and right. If they can't treat my child the way she should be I'm going to find someone else that will treat her the way I would and never let that person interact or see my child unless I and my husband are around to handle our child when she makes a mistake.
4 people like this
10 responses
@duke1000 (100)
• United States
8 Feb 12
Not sure I would be able to catch someone doing something to my child when I am in the vicinity. I sometimes take my kid to the local mall to play in the area there and have yet to have any issues, the same at the park. It might be because I am a fairly large man and my size and look are not something they think they can deal with. I guess over the years I have grizzled my look to the point where people are in fear. Not sure if that is a good thing though. I am sure though when it comes down to it if i see something like that I will keep my composure for the most part and not rip out their esophagus'. I would try to say something politely at first if that doesn't work I will treat the adult like a child and put them on a time out.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
That's not leaving someone in charge of your kids your just dropping them off to play that is a totally different thing then leaving your kids with someone. Weather you see it or not your kids can tell you themselves if something is right with a caregiver that you have left them with when your not around. A size of a parent won't affect how someone treats your child at all.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
8 Feb 12
I agree 100%! No One treats Sugar Badly , Ever! 1 person likes this
@greysfreak (1384)
• United States
11 Feb 12
I don't have kids yet, but I do know that I would not tolerate anyone treating mine badly in any way. If I saw it I would immediately take my kid out of the presence of that person, and if I didn't see it, and was told about it, I would try talking to the person, and if I didn't feel completely comfortable I would not entrust that person to be around my kid, under any circumstances. I would let it be known that they are to treat them the way I would, or I would find someone else to watch them, or whatever the situation was.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Feb 12
I agree that is what I would. I have ever left my baby with someone that I didn't trust and if I didn't trust them I wouldn't leave my daughter with them or her sibling. Then again I'm a stay at home mom so the good thing is my daughter is always with me or her dad every few people do I trust her with. If I felt family or friend that was watching my child would treat them the way me and my husband did I wouldn't let them see my kid again.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Feb 12
You know, in the entire nine years that I've been a mother, there have actually only been a couple of times that I've caught someone treating my children in a way that I didn't care for.
What I've done in those situations is to let the person know that I really didn't appreciate the way that they were treating my children and I felt that if they couldn't be better to the kids than that, then they didn't need to talk to them at all.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Feb 12
Me I'm not sure if I would be claim or enough to talk nicely to someone to tell them that I didn't like the way they where acting towards my child. I always feel if someone can't be nice enough around my kids then they don't need to be around my kids.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
We don't have that issue since we live far from the in laws so they don't get to spoil our kids thankfully. Grandparents love to spoil there grand kids I don't know why.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Feb 12
Yes that is normal when you tell them to stop or you just don't visit that often. We keep a good 9 hours between us and all grandparents so they don't get to spoil ever. They just get to see for a few days not even long enough to do too much. This way they can't say we have to do this or that or that our kids should have this or that and that they need to buy your kids this or that. If they buy something we don't need or want for you kids we bring it back no questions asked.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Feb 12
Well you really can't call the cops on someone from treating a child badly. Bad has many rangers so you got to pick your battles when it comes to the comps. No physical harm done they aren't going to do anything at all. I was talking about just verbally not being nice to a child. Nothing the cops can do about that telling a kid not to do something in a way that you might not like it.
Me it would depend I'm kind of a momma bear where you don't mess with my young in any way or else you'll be in trouble and I'm not going to be nice about it. You'll know that you did something when I have to talk to you about something your not doing as a caregiver or something that you are doing that I don't like.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Feb 12
hi shybear I would have reacted as you did. they have no rights to mistreat your child or my child.I told anyone off who was mistreating either of my two children. Other adults have no
\business telling your own child what to do and not do. So
yes tell them firmly to leave your child alone.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
I haven't had to do this yet thankfully. I get to keep my little one all day long thankfully. I won't hold back when it comes to my kids. I won't hurt the person but I will make it know you don't mess with my offspring.
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
Hi there shybear88,
If I was a parent i think heads will roll, figure of speech, i think a long and full of shouting and argumentouos day would be for me and for that person and if it is a guy then I guess our wives will be waiting for us in the emergency after black and blues but I'll try to be diplomatic in the first 5 minutes i guess.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
I wouldn't yell but I would tell them off like there is no tomorrow. I can see that happening my husband would start a fight. If a man mistreats my kids they won't have to worry about my husband it'll be me.
@Queen_11 (307)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
If other adults are treating my child in a way that I think is not right, definitely that adult will hear from me. I still don't have a child of my own but I would like to raise my child with all the protection and love that I can give. If my child has done something wrong, then I should be informed so that I can be the one to correct it, the exact same thing that I will do to others.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
Yep that is how I feel. If I'm watching someone else kid I'm not going to punish them but of course if I feel that its wrong I would tell them don't do that and then taking up with the parents because they will know what to do. They might not see the same thing as me which is okay but I still would have to address to them like they should to me. I'm fine with other parents saying to my child nicely please don't do that in my house or around my child that is okay with me. But not yelling or taking there anger or what ever out on my child because they didn't know or thought it was okay.
@wangg721 (4)
•
8 Feb 12
That will be very hard to find a perfect solution to urge others to parent your children as the same as yours. Even you and you partner probably have different core believes, which consisting of your expectations about your child's future being. Therefore do not be over sensitive and setting stonewall to others. The most important thing is how you parent your child.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
10 Feb 12
Even when your have a partner you both agree to how to raise your children because if you don't then your children will never really understand what is going on and then the child acts up. When you have kids that's part of being a parent you and the other parent learn to together what works and doesn't work for each of you and you get on one page this is how its going to be when it comes to this or that. The other parent isn't some other caregiver and they don't have to live with you and stuff so they can do as they please.
Its never okay when you have kids for another adults to not punish one kid for something and then punish another for it and blame that for doing the same thing. Or not pushing the child that taught the other child its okay to do this or that. That is just being a bad adult and bad care giver. Weather your that child's parent or not the way you treat your kids isn't the way you treat other peoples children because one that child will tell there parent two, you'll have to deal with that parent upset and then you might not ever see that person again and it would really suck if your related to them that they wouldn't be part of that child's life and there kids wouldn't be part of your child's life either.
Its simple when your a parent you don't want anyone messing with your child and especially thinking its okay to be mean and rude to another. I don't care if that person is my husband or not I will personally if I have be calling the cops on them. This is why before me and my husband had kids we had rules in which how we would raise our child and if we didn't agree with it then we would drop it because we couldn't see eye to eye. Parents of a child have to see eye on things.
