When is it time to give up on the other person?
By sjohnson17
@sjohnson17 (42)
United States
February 9, 2012 2:56pm CST
I've dated this guy for 6 years total. The first 3 were off and on again. Then we were together consecutively for the last 3 and even got engaged for 6 months before breaking up yet again. In those 6 years I've done my best to show him love and that I was there for him through thick and thin...just as if we were married how it should be (for better or worse). Well he has come a long way in the last 6 years but he is still so selfish and doesnt understand the meaning of love as far as I see. We are talking about getting back together with both of us knowing the expectations we want from eachother but I still think I should give up on him and look for someone that I'm more compatible with. I just can't seem to do it though. I still want to be that one girl that he can look back on and say wow she did love me for me and she was always there with me through my screwups. I just want to know what others opinions are and if you might think like I do...when you love someone so much you should never give up on them. I know you can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves. Any similiar experiences someone would like to share would be great
2 people like this
7 responses
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
10 Feb 12
Hello SJohnson, I understand you want to keep on hoping that he will change for the last six years, through thick and thin. However, I know there is certain things when you go back together and that is you learned you're lesson from the last problems in the relationship. unfortunately, if the guy that you love is still the same, you should rethink of going back to this guy and challenge him to change.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
10 Feb 12
Hi Sjohnson,
Welcome to Mylot!
No one can tell you what is and isn't right in a situation like this. Only you know how much you can take from this guy. Judging from your post here, you don't really sound too happy. I know that no relationship is perfect and you can't expect to be happy all of the time but you should be happy more than not. Are you?
As for him looking back and feeling that you were the one, well, I would imagine that after 6 yrs and still trying to work it out, he probably could already do that. And don't forget to consider how YOU are going to look back at this relationship. Sometimes I think people get so caught up in worrying about how the other person feels that they don't stop to consider their own feelings.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish for you the best. 
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
10 Feb 12
i think the fact that you are sharing this and wants people from the outside of the relationship to see, well i guess that meant tht the relationship soemhow has turned for something that maybe only you are fighting for... if he is not really into the relatinship nd it has been one sided for the past couple of years, is there really something worth it to keep it? you deserve no less than what you can get.. and this man is not giving you what he is supposed to.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
10 Feb 12
Ouch!Seems the situation in your was the same as what happen into my life. Really wonder it is coincident?
I think you need to talk to him about the matter and what your observation to him. Be frank to let him wake up on what he does is not really good in a relationship...
Sorry to tell you this...I mean sorry, because even my own problem still not resolve. But who knows this approach will change your boyfriend.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Feb 12
If you have doubts about whether the relationship will still work or not, I guess it is better to just end it up. I have been in a kinda similar situation. It will be almost 6 years this coming May... but I have decided to end it up just a month ago. I can no longer expect that our relationship will still work. We have ups and downs, we struggled a lot, we tried to work it out. But things keep going back to the same mess. So I thought it is better for both of us to move on with our life. Right now, I am not having such headache and heart ache coz I feel a little free from worries now... I know it is not so hard to just forget a 6-year relationship espeically when we (and you both) have planned about getting married. But if it is not happening.. then better accept it.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
10 Feb 12
When a other person give up on you, and doesn't fight anymore then you should stop. Because if you are the only one fighting and fighting, trust me its not going to work out. You will get tired, and there will be more pain. Save your heart - you should never expect, demand, assume. Know you limits, where to stand and know your role. Don't get affected, jealous, and paranoid. Just go with the flow and stay happy ! :)
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
10 Feb 12
If you made your mind about leaving, then do it. Sometimes people won't cherish something until it's gone. Love work when both parties cooperate, not just you loving him or the other way around. You hope for him to change but he never did. You give him six years for that.
