We are programed to live... so what makes us desire death?
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
February 12, 2012 10:16am CST
This is kind of long, so if you don't want to read, just pass this one by, okay? 
I’m sitting here thinking about what makes people tick the way they do. I’m thinking of the act of suicide. Men are more likely to commit acts of suicide than women, I believe. However, young people are also quite susceptible to acting out with suicidal actions to cause their deaths.
I’m thinking of my cousin Jackie who committed suicide over 34 years ago. She was 17 and graduated high school. She had a job and seemed to be doing fine. She was a beautiful girl. We found out after her death that she was pregnant. She wasn’t showing, so none of us knew. Her parents didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. She went out into the garage and turned the ignition to her car on, turned the radio on and sat there and died. Her father came home from work and found her dead in the car.
My cousin’s death ruined the lives of the family. The father refused to allow her name to be mentioned in the home. Her pictures were taken off the wall, and the mom lived with terrible grief over her daughter because she couldn’t even mention her name in the house.
Part of me feels it is a desperate act that is also a selfish act. The other part of me feels that the person isn’t thinking right and cannot fathom what they do to their families. They don’t realize that the family and friends will have to pick up the pieces of their lives and go on without them.
My cousin not only killed herself, but she killed her unborn child. Her father was very strict, and my thought was that she thought killing herself was better than telling her father she was pregnant out of wedlock.
I’m sure there are many people who have been affected by a person in your life who has committed suicide.
If you have been affected by someone who ended his/her life, can you please share how it affected you, and why do you think the person did it? Do you think people lose rational thought when they commit suicide?
I think older people who suffer a debilitating illness may choose suicide as a way out… but what about the senseless suicides where the person ended their life just because they were facing something difficult? To me, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your thoughts Mylotters?
I’m sitting here thinking about what makes people tick the way they do. I’m thinking of the act of suicide. Men are more likely to commit acts of suicide than women, I believe. However, young people are also quite susceptible to acting out with suicidal actions to cause their deaths.
I’m thinking of my cousin Jackie who committed suicide over 34 years ago. She was 17 and graduated high school. She had a job and seemed to be doing fine. She was a beautiful girl. We found out after her death that she was pregnant. She wasn’t showing, so none of us knew. Her parents didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. She went out into the garage and turned the ignition to her car on, turned the radio on and sat there and died. Her father came home from work and found her dead in the car.
My cousin’s death ruined the lives of the family. The father refused to allow her name to be mentioned in the home. Her pictures were taken off the wall, and the mom lived with terrible grief over her daughter because she couldn’t even mention her name in the house.
Part of me feels it is a desperate act that is also a selfish act. The other part of me feels that the person isn’t thinking right and cannot fathom what they do to their families. They don’t realize that the family and friends will have to pick up the pieces of their lives and go on without them.
My cousin not only killed herself, but she killed her unborn child. Her father was very strict, and my thought was that she thought killing herself was better than telling her father she was pregnant out of wedlock.
I’m sure there are many people who have been affected by a person in your life who has committed suicide.
If you have been affected by someone who ended his/her life, can you please share how it affected you, and why do you think the person did it? Do you think people lose rational thought when they commit suicide?
I think older people who suffer a debilitating illness may choose suicide as a way out… but what about the senseless suicides where the person ended their life just because they were facing something difficult? To me, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your thoughts Mylotters?4 people like this
4 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
12 Feb 12
hi PointlessQuestions
I tried to kill myself in 2008. I was severely ill, just married (it was after 14th month) that I was confined to bed. I could not sit up myself and needed someone to make me sit. For long 8 months, I saw my beloved wife taking all the pains - she had to work, earn, cook, clean (house, me) and also continue with her study. she never said anything bad but I always could see the pain in her eyes. My illness was okay and I could live with it, but seeing myself to be the cause of so many problems to me, my wife, my parents and being helpless... was much unbearable. The whole days and nights I would keep thinking... why all this and at the end why I am to cause so much of inconvenience to all who mean so much to me. So one day I decided to kill myself. Somehow managed to get the rat poison (I had asked the kid daughter of my neighbor who was there to feed me my lunch).
It wasnt anything else, but the pain - mental agony and mental pains, the physical ones stood nowhere near. But then, I survived. Divine Intervention as I say it. That packet of rat poison was wrapped in a newspaper page which had a small preaching/discourse from Sri Ravi Shankar of The Art of Living. I read that as the headline was - "Pain is the reason to Kill YourSelf" and that was what I was going to do! It said - if the pain is gone, no one will like to die, and I could relate. I needed time to re-think and find some way to get rid of this mental pain and I thought I would ask my wife to leave me and go. I will ask dad to shift me to some hospital where I can spend the rest of my life or even ask for mercy killing. That night, Shri Sai Baba(an Indian Prophet) (my mom has a great faith in Him) came in my dream, and asked me why I was trying to kill myself. I tell Him the Pain. The brushed his hand on my hair, smiled and I was awake. I could feel there was not much of physical pain and I dont know why, I tried to sit on my own... and I was sitting - with no one to support. I switched on the bed lamp and woke my my wife. Seeing me sitting, she smiled. And that smile... I can die a million times to see that sparkle and smile all over again.
Since that day, I realized, I have to live, live for my wife if for no one else. And today, despite me being confined at home, not having a regular job, I am NOT going to kill myself. I learned to treasure my life, value it and live.
I tried to kill myself in 2008. I was severely ill, just married (it was after 14th month) that I was confined to bed. I could not sit up myself and needed someone to make me sit. For long 8 months, I saw my beloved wife taking all the pains - she had to work, earn, cook, clean (house, me) and also continue with her study. she never said anything bad but I always could see the pain in her eyes. My illness was okay and I could live with it, but seeing myself to be the cause of so many problems to me, my wife, my parents and being helpless... was much unbearable. The whole days and nights I would keep thinking... why all this and at the end why I am to cause so much of inconvenience to all who mean so much to me. So one day I decided to kill myself. Somehow managed to get the rat poison (I had asked the kid daughter of my neighbor who was there to feed me my lunch).
It wasnt anything else, but the pain - mental agony and mental pains, the physical ones stood nowhere near. But then, I survived. Divine Intervention as I say it. That packet of rat poison was wrapped in a newspaper page which had a small preaching/discourse from Sri Ravi Shankar of The Art of Living. I read that as the headline was - "Pain is the reason to Kill YourSelf" and that was what I was going to do! It said - if the pain is gone, no one will like to die, and I could relate. I needed time to re-think and find some way to get rid of this mental pain and I thought I would ask my wife to leave me and go. I will ask dad to shift me to some hospital where I can spend the rest of my life or even ask for mercy killing. That night, Shri Sai Baba(an Indian Prophet) (my mom has a great faith in Him) came in my dream, and asked me why I was trying to kill myself. I tell Him the Pain. The brushed his hand on my hair, smiled and I was awake. I could feel there was not much of physical pain and I dont know why, I tried to sit on my own... and I was sitting - with no one to support. I switched on the bed lamp and woke my my wife. Seeing me sitting, she smiled. And that smile... I can die a million times to see that sparkle and smile all over again.
Since that day, I realized, I have to live, live for my wife if for no one else. And today, despite me being confined at home, not having a regular job, I am NOT going to kill myself. I learned to treasure my life, value it and live.1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Hi Thesids,
I’m glad you didn’t kill yourself, and also glad that you had some divine intervention which helped you to recover. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
12 Feb 12
Hello PointlessQuestions
I think this can be a very treacherous subject but you handled it so well and because I want to answer the question without changing anything you said pQ because I think you are so correct in your thinking, this is what everyone should think about and see life full of possibilities – I will make a joke ok. I do hope that is ok. It is easier to express my thought that way and I hope not at all harmful.
What goes through a persons mind ...
Well it is like the guy that buried his dog in the backyard and put up a very noticeable tombstone with only the dogs name on it in big bold letters.
LUCKY
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
12 Feb 12
Well that was only a joke, and perhaps improper, I'm sorry.
Maybe I can just say what I think ...
God created a really wonderful world but well things did go badly and not exactly a paradise. I think for many it is just unbearable and they want out. It is not a good option. Life is a better option. For whatever reasons they have, life still contains reasons for living, I agree.
I believe we will be at peace.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Very true. A lot of problems are just temporary. The problem is, a lot of people do not see them as being temporary. They think they may not have a solution to it or a way out of it. They do not and cannot handle the pressure of it. I have felt like I did not want to live when facing something difficult at times too. Sometimes you just think things will never change.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Yep, that marred thinking is what kills lots of people who could otherwise live long happy lives. Everything passes… the bad times do pass… I feel bad for people who choose to end their lives; everyone has bad times. There is always tomorrow… I find that when I sleep on things they aren’t as pressing on me as before.
@humerasadat (73)
•
12 Feb 12
well,i think ur cousin's father did nothing wrong in taking such decision.it is he who will suffer the most internally,thinking what wrong he has done in the upbringing,how coward her daughter was..and god knows what is going in his mind.ur cousin took the extreme step unable to face life and her father has to pay the consequences of her sucide.
1 person likes this
