Divorce, is it the best solution ?

i am sorry for hearing your story, divorce is not always a solution. but if your not happy anymore and arguing always that affects your child ( they can see that your arguing) that could be. Your husband should give support financially even it is in the contract, it is his obligation.

If you could still settle the situation then fight for the marriage. Ask God for guidance and He will guide you the right way.

Even though divorce is never a good option treasure157,sometimes it is the only option. I don't know what you went through but no one can stand in your shoes but you. I applaud your commitment to your children and your courage to do what you deemed to be necessary. Good luck on the next phase of your life.

Hello TREASURE157, Divorce is not a solution always when we have kids to take care of.I understand for kids both father and mother are equally important.I know its not that easy to raise 4 kids together alone i think you should have asked for monthly maitanence at least for the children to fulfill their basic needs.And i don't understand what kind of father your husband is who don't care for his kids at least he should see them and should help them financially.

I am so sorry to read this... I don't know about the rules on divorce. But I do not understand it. He is the father of your children so why are they allowing them to make such kind of contract.

That's some kinda unfair. But yes some of people divorce is the solution. Just imagine yourself being with someone you don't want to be anymore, but you cannot run from it because of a piece of paper.

Dear friend, I apprecaite you for accepting such a contract, may be the mental and other bitter side would have prompted you to do so. But four childern is something that should be cared well. I feel divorce is better than undergoing tolerating some worse side in life. But on the financial side may be the childern need something, if the father is not affectionate to childern I feel it is better to find a financial earning for yourself soon if you are in tight situation. Childern do need both sides affection from both parents. May be, it your life and your freedom of decision as you had undergone all those in your life. Wish all the best in the coming of part of your life.

Why did you agree that he wouldn't need to provide for the kids? I know that it's about two people's decision not to be together anymore, but regardless, they're still his kids and he still has an obligation to them. Why?

I don't think so, divorce is not the solution. If you can still patch up things do it. Your children are still young, They need the care of their parents. Why provide for the children alone if he is there healthy and living. As much as possible don't settle for a divorce oblige him to support you and the children.

Divorce is usually for the best. You and your children are probably much happier and have more peace of mind. Can you not take him to court to pay child support? We can here in the states but it' a long process. They find loopholes so they don't have to pay by moving around a lot or working off the books. I wish you the best of luck.

What you have gone through is one tough experience. I admire you for being such a strong and willfull mother. You reminded me of my precious mom. Our youngest is just 9 months old when my dad resigned from life. Our eldest is just 4 years old then, I was 3 and my brother was 2. From that day on, she supported us all by herself working day and night being the provider and the same time as a loving mother. I do have high respect for someone like you as you never give up for the sake of your children. This a test to your strength and faith in GOD in which I believe you can (or already) surpass(ed.) in due time. As for the 'divorce' thing, I think you did the right thing. There is no point in living together when the relationship is unhealty and not working anymore. Being a child myself, I would rather have my parents separated than seeing them fighting together. You maybe divorced, but that doesn't mean you can't be good parents to your children. Well, I do hope your husband will help you financially.

In my view it is not best solution. Now children are denied of their comforts or necessities. If at all divorce was to be taken you should have insisted on compensation for childrens' maintenance.

really i do not understand what is in the mind of your husband, why did you divorce your husband in a time you have been pregnant?

Hi TREASURE157, In case if already no happiness in this marriage why want to continued?For me,as a father to his child he should to know about his kids situation.Just because the contract,he can simply not heed his kids.He can't just hand over responsibility to you.As a father he should more responsible even after divorce.Pity them..They was his flesh and blood.I think divorce not wrong if you can't solve your problem with him,but why you make a contract like that?Benefit just for him.

I am shocked that your husband divorced you during your pregnancy with your baby number four. Pregnancy is an emotional time full or hormones playing up. Your husband should have stayed with you and tried to make the relationship work. He should pay money for the provision of his children weekly or monthly. It is a shame that you are struggling financially in this recession that we are in. Divorce was not the best solution. Couples that have hit the rocks should speak clearly about difficulties in their relationship. Maybe a rebuild the relationship vacation should happen for couples almost splitting up.

HI Treasure, Welcome to Mylot!! I'm sorry that you have had to go through such a painful divorce. I'm sure it was even more emotional because of your pregnancy. Was divorce the best solution? No one but you can answer that, Treasure. Only you know what you went through. I am not sure that accepting the divorce without financial responsibility from him for the children was good but than again, we don't know your situation. I raised my girls alone and they all turned out beautifully. In my situation, it was absolutely the best choice for all of us. Best of luck to you, Treasure!

I think to you divorce is a good solution, so you can live without you ex who you do not love any more and you can begin a new life now. But to children, something may not so good. One is that they can not live with their father now, sometimes they may miss him. And without the economical support from their father, their living condition may not as good as before. But if they can live happily with you, i think it may not a big problem. I hope all things will be ok with you.

Since all other methods to savage the marriage don't work out between you and your husband, the only option left is divorce, of course it is not the best alternative/option for a relationship of 14 years to end this way, but when you look at it from the bright side, divorce is still better off option than constant fighting, petty bickering and violent outburst between couple that can't work out their diffferences in life. So in your case, i will say it is the best solution among all.

Hi there. I myself is not really in favor with that divorce thing since it would be very traumatic for the kids to have their parents separates for good. But it sometimes the only way to get things better, maybe a bit hard at first but later on you'll realize it is even better that way than to let the children see you and your husband fighting like cats and dogs. I do hope you keep the faith, you can do it you can raise your children well without your husband, just have faith.

Divorce? DON'T..!!! If there is any solution why not try the others bcoz any problem of course there is a solution. In my opinion divorce is not a good solution for the people who married. I know it might be hard for you but don't look divorce is one of a good solution. thinks you children, don't you have a bleeding heart for you children without father? you think being a widow is nice? think it..!!