Is my friend a lesbian? (confused)
By tess_quinain
@tess_quinain (1149)
Philippines
February 14, 2012 4:28pm CST
I have this close friend of mine who is acting a bit weird these days. I don't know but my family thought that my friend is a lesbian. I cannot afford to believe them because we usually talk about guys and love stories. And I don't care if she is a lesbian or not because I am not against to it. But then, yesterday, she gave something for me. She gave me a ring that I liked! I remember one time we went shopping and I dropped by the jewelry store and commentend that I liked that particular ring. To my surprise, she gave it to me as a valentince's gift. Honestly, I am surprised! I have never done that to any of my girlfriends. She just said that she gave me a gift so that I would not be lonely since I am still under the brokenheartedness. I dont' want to initiate some bad thoughts in my mind. If my hunch is right, that probably she liked me as something very special I wouldn't be indifferent to her. I will always be her friend forever. But I am afraid it might ruin our relationship. Well, I don't want to think that way since I have not proved anything yet. Last Christmas, she gave me someting special too and she always drop by my house for a small talk.
Ah...anyways...happy mylotting.
6 people like this
26 responses
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
14 Feb 12
That doesn't mean she is a lesbian because she got you something that you liked. Friends do that from time to time. If she is a lesbian just wait for her to tell you its not easy for someone to be gay and to say it. Just tell your family its none of your busyness if she is or isn't all that matters is that we are good friends and we get along with each other.
1 person likes this
@tess_quinain (1149)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
yeah she knows everything about my lovelife..maybe she is just trying to be a good friend..i love her and i want us to be friends forever.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
15 Feb 12
I wouldn't jump to conclusions quite yet, not this early in the game. I would say wait it out and see what happens - and try not to interpret every nice thing your friend does for you as her having a lesbian crush on you..I've gone through a similar thing with a friend of mine, who I am still friends with, but I found out through a mutual friend that she DID have a crush on me (and I didn't even know she was a lesbian either at that point, well "bi" that is), but I had to tell her flat out I don't swing that way or share the mutual feeling. I had to quit seeing her for a while but now we've hung out and everything's cool. Sometimes you just have to set boundaries if things start getting out of line with your friends who want to be more than friends (gay or straight). Right now, I would say until she really comes on to you, I wouldn't worry or even think about it. Until she says something or really makes a move on you, i wouldn't waste time worrying.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
15 May 12
other than that is there any instances that she's being extra sweet or thoughtful to you? Does she look or stare at you differently? If yes, then she is. If you are unsure about it and want to save your friendship then why not talk to her somewhere else that both of you are comfortable. Anyway, would you mind if i ask if you are now in a relationship or your close friend?
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
good day to you tess_quinain,
upon reading your main topic, it is indeed confusing as why your friend gives you some special gifts. however, since she is your friend, perhaps, it will be better if you asked her somehow so you can prepare yourself if she is a lesbian or not. but, also try to consider that there are really some who love to give special gifts to their friend of the same gender as they really treasure the relationship.
nonetheless, if your friendship is like a gem for you, then, you will understand whoever she is.
cheers.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
You wouldn't be really thinking about her that way if it weren't because of your family. Well, not to brag but no matter how "girly-looking" a lesbian is, I could sense if she was "straight" or not. But I think that no matter what your friend really is, you should remain friends.
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
26 Feb 12
I don´t think that a person is a lesbian because she gives nice presents. Presents have nothing to do with gender, as I can see. But if you don´t feel comfortable with her, it is better that you become a less close friend with her.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
15 Feb 12
Hi Tess. I don't know if your friend is a lesbian or not. I have a woman that gives me all kinds of stuff I know she is a lesbian but she also knows that I am not. But she knows I don't like her at all she is just in my life because she is married to my brother in law. Don't take it that she is trying to get into you pants. The only way you will find out if that is what she wants is to just be upfront to her and ask her. And if it is just plain tell her that you are not that way and will never be that way. If you feel uncomfortable accepting the gifts she gives you just be up front and tell her you are uncomfortable. My sister in law is giving me gifts I guess to try and buy my trust. I will never trust her I took her to the store one time and she stole a bunch of stuff and I told her then it would be the last time I ever took her anywhere. Reason I don't want to go to jail because she can't stop stealing stuff.
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
12 Mar 12
We do not know if she is a lesbian or not, because some women also did that, as a friend, but if she kisses you on lips, well, I would say that it is not normal at all. She is definitely a lesbian. Ha ha ha ha ha 
We would only be sure if she is really a lesbian if she told you that she is a lesbian, but some women that are lesbian, who is discreet, would not tell you about their identity.
We would only be sure if she is really a lesbian if she told you that she is a lesbian, but some women that are lesbian, who is discreet, would not tell you about their identity.
@06MLam (620)
•
15 Feb 12
The best way to do is to do nothing now and observe carefully. See if she does the same to others and especially males. If you think that she treats you so differently from the others, then you might be quite important to her to a certain extend. Otherewise, you might be just a common close friends with her, like many others that she has.
@no_ming (137)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
Wow! what a kind friend she is! If I where you . You should have to asked her. If she's really a lesbian and what she really feels about you. Nothing is wrong if you will asked here anyway you are both closed to each other so it is normal to share to her what your family tells to you about her.You have to confirmed it, hiding secrets about your friend can cause trouble. If she really feels something about you not just for friends then you should have to accept that she is really a lesbian and tell her that you don't feel the same thing. You only treat her as a friend and your hoping that she will accept it. And most of all tell her that it is wronged to hide secrets.
@kkshaji (14)
• India
17 Feb 12
friendship means give n take , your friend may expect some thing special other than you think, because of freedom with in you ur friend missusing that, better way slowly slowly directly inform ur friend what is your stand over this issue.some times a kiss you extend may mistake ur friend, so be carefull while dealing with your friend
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
15 Feb 12
I think if it's really on your mind be direct and ask her. If she's really your friend she won't be bothered. Hoerver, if you change the way you treat her because of your suspicions, that might be hurtful to her. Even if she is a lesbian she can still be you frienf, plenty of lesbiand are just friends with other girls.
@ibinissac (47)
• India
15 Feb 12
I think you are really lucky to have a friend like that...
Some friends will be so caring.. like a lover..
I think she is not intrested in you.. if she is and you are not intrested in that, at that point you should stop your relation..
@digidogo (444)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
Do such actions really spring up controversies? I think I should lessen my giving of gifts to friends I consider close or best. I love seeing them happy and so to my capability, I give them what I know they would like or maybe a random gift that I like in hopes that they would like it too. So far, nothing has failed and everything has always gone well.
Now, in your situation and my opinion, there are two ways this may go. Either your friend IS lesbian and she wants a piece of you and that is why she is slowly getting intimitate hoping that you may have had the idea of her feelings and you might bite back or either she is just being a great friend like me. Giving to their friends when they want to especially on meaningful days because it means something. Would it not be more suspicious to you if she gave you something on a random monday? Try to observe her more and if you want to make things interesting, though I do not reccomend it if you do not want to ruin the friendship, try "biting" back if she tries something new. See where it leads to 
@sjvg1976 (41289)
• Delhi, India
15 Feb 12
Hello tess_quinain,
Just giving a ring as a gift does not mean she is lesbian
.I beleive you need time to judge her before jumping on to any conclusion.You must observe her activities for the time being you will definitely come to know what she is.Secondly i do not understand how does it effect if she is lesbian too unless and untill she is your friend and does not have something romantic about you in her mind.
.I beleive you need time to judge her before jumping on to any conclusion.You must observe her activities for the time being you will definitely come to know what she is.Secondly i do not understand how does it effect if she is lesbian too unless and untill she is your friend and does not have something romantic about you in her mind.
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
Don't conclude right away that she is a lesbian because she gave you something last Valentine's day and also last Christmas. There are friends who are very true like her who doesn't just gave you material things but also supports you morally. Maybe it is her way to ease the pain that you feel in your heart.
If you are still unsettled about her gender, why don't you ask her by joking but you know you meant the question.
Whatever may her gender is, you should accept her true identity. Just be honest.
@winston90 (296)
• Romania
15 Feb 12
Maybe she is just curious, or maybe she is passing through a special moment in her life.
Why don't you ask her, in a friendly way?
