Forgive and Forget... Is it really possible?
By almightybong
@almightybong (186)
Philippines
February 14, 2012 8:38pm CST
It is always hard to forgive but in the act of forgiveness, forgetting is usually the hardest part. However, it has been said that to TRULY forgive is to forget as well. Some would say that forgetting is a choice. So when you've chosen to forgive, it means that you can also choose to forget. but ow many times have we done it in our lives? How many people have done it to us? To what extremes are we willing to go to give those who have done us all sort of wrongs a clean slate? Is it ever possible?
The more important question is, is there someone right NOW, who you can't seem to forgive? Or someone you have forgiven, but you just can't, even if you want to, give a second chance?
2 people like this
16 responses
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
Forgiving someone is okay you let things be and avoid further conflict it's good to forgive it makes the world more harmonious, but forgetting is a security risk for me, if a person has hurt you before and had the reasons to doing it then fine i forgive and let you off the hook, but to let them come close again to hurt you without you learning from the what they did before is your fault and should he avoided with the lesson of the past so forgive but dont forget so that you can be someone fair yet vigilant for your own safety.
1 person likes this
@picture59 (64)
• Malaysia
15 Feb 12
Forgiving other is actually forgiving ourselves. Hatred won't harm the person you hate but yourself. Yes, it might seems impossible at first, but takes time to slowly let it go.
For me, I think forgive doesn't equal to give a second chance, since the trust was broken. When I say "I forgive you", means I don't angry or blame anymore, but not that I agree with whatever was done on me. And definitely, no second chance to let myself be abused again and again.
Forgive the person and forget the unhappy part, but not the lesson.
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I think it really is possible to forgive someone and forget them and forget the thing they did to harm you. I have worked hard to forgive some people who caused me pain and I work to forget the pain. It takes work and time to forget that but it is possible, with time everythingfades.
@smacksman (6053)
•
15 Feb 12
Forgive and forget? No. I don't think that is possible with something important.
Forgive and accept? Yes. I think that is possible.
My next question is - do you think something is important that I do not. You will not forget but I have forgotten it almost as soon as it happened.
My wife accuses me of forgetting important things all the time! 
@almightybong (186)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
Quite a trivial question, if you ask me, but I like it. Quite plain and simple. :)
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
15 Feb 12
God wants you to forgive. Therefore it is up to you, if you want to do God's will is the only way you will be able to sincerely forgive. I've been there. 'God can make your enemies to be at peace with you'. Been there also. If you are living for God and staying close to Him, the word, and you sincerely ask Him to help you to forgive whomever, He can make it happen. I know it!
@JustAUser (31)
•
15 Feb 12
Is it truly forgiveness though if you're just doing it to listen to God?
To me, it sounds more like when we're kids and we don't think we've done anything wrong but an adult says to apologize. You don't really mean it but you're doing it because you're told to.
Also, I don't know if I'd like anything make me forgive someone like that but that's just my immediate response to reading "He can make it happen". It sounds too much like brainwashing to me even if I've asked for it.
@BlackAmaranth (275)
• Romania
16 Feb 12
The one want's us to forgive, but it's hard. And to forgive someone, you must first understand him/her. It's very hard but the best thing you can do, is to make the first step. And keep going...
@nyang1984 (464)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
i was badly hurt before and i even consider it as my nightmare... hehehe... but i couldn't remember my past relationship had ever asked for an apology... it takes time to heal a broken heart but as days/time passes by i found out that i already forgiven him and just left the past behind. and in fact i was thankful that it happened to me cause that experience made me stronger...:)
happy lotting!:) have a nice day..:)
@almightybong (186)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
On that note, I believe that every person in our lives, whether they did something good or something bad, has a purpose. It may not be well obvious but time will always come when you can look back and tell yourself "Oh that's why this happened with this person..." No matter how grave their offense was or no matter how hurtful their actions were, at some point in time in your life you will remember how you manage to overcome it, and it could not have been possible, if not for this person who has offended you.
I do believe that what makes forgiving and forgetting easy is that if you look forward, and know that in God's time, you will see the reason why it happened. Bleak as it may at present, God's plan will be revealed. This is not to say that we should be naive and allow ourselves to be punching bags. This is to say that everything has a purpose, which will all be revealed in due time.
If we recognize things as an opportunity to grow, the task of forgiving and forgetting is very easy. We gravitate towards our thoughts so what we usually remember are the things we think of the most. If we dwell on the offense that has been committed against us, that we would never be able to let go. But if we focus our minds towards forgiving, and knowing that there's a good reason behind the pain, then not only would we learn the value of forgiveness, but also the value of selfless love.
1 person likes this
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
This is a very good question.. these two words have great impact on someone's life.. a person can always forgive but never will that person can forget all the bad memories that had happened in their lives. For me..it really hard to forgive at first specially if the thing that has done to you is really painful, but when time comes and I am that ready to give the forgiveness eventually it will happen, but a person cannot blame me if I can't still forget. memories will live by but people should always think of moving on with their lives and not be eaten of prides that they have.:)
@tipay26 (867)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
Forgiving and forgetting those two words are easy to say but hard to do.There are circumstances that forgiving is hard to do because of the things that have happen and if you can't forgive it is sure enough that you cannot forget :( Being forgiven is earned hard it can't be done overnight.Same goes with forgetting it takes time.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
15 Feb 12
Hi Almightybong and welcome to my lot. I have one I just plain forgive or forget. She is my husbands brothers wife. When I first met her she started lying about me. I forgave her and moved on but it is one lie after another and she has caused so many problems for me I just can't and won't keep forgiving her. Even though Christ said to forgive 7x70=490 times. The last time I tried to be friends with her she asked for a ride to the store. So I did and when she came out of the dollar store she had stolen a lot of things. I told her then it was the last time I would drive her to the store. If they had come out to our truck and caught her they might have taken me to jail with her. It is good to be able to forgive and move on but it is also good to remember so we don't do the same mistakes over and over. Good luck my friend!
@henkiprananda (2729)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 12
forgive is easy, but hard to forget. but it not relevant if you not forgive someone just because you can't forget what he/she done.
@dorothy172 (984)
• Malaysia
15 Feb 12
hi friend, i agree with what you said, to forgive someone, we also have to forget the incident that he or she done to us. but forgive and forget actually is not easy to do. for me, in the last 4 months, i have a best friend (during that time), she suddenly want to quit the company, but she didnt told me at all, and also didnt said anything about this, whatever i ask, she also said, dont know, decide it later. she really make me feel disgusting, and the most important is, she just left all the thing like that and leave without notice me. and after that, there are a lot of 'suprise' that i get from her, i almost get mad at that time. we didnt talk for 2 months. and have 1 day, i dont want our relationship to be like this, so i started to talk with her, i think i can forgive her and forget what she done to me, but who knows, i cant. i can talk to her, but i cant forget the hurt she brought to me.
@winston90 (296)
• Romania
15 Feb 12
It depends on many factors: who is the person that needs forgiveness, in which way he/she upset you, what has that person ever did for you, and many others.
Sum that up and if you care about that person, he/she didn't mean to hurt you, if it wasn't a selfish act and most important, if you were forgiven by that person in the past, for the same, or a similar mistake, you should definitly forgive that person.
Meanwhile, forgetting is a different process. If one man wouldn't forget anything in his life he would go insane.
@smtsmt (9)
•
15 Feb 12
Yes it is possible to forgive and forgot every person.It is better for you to forgive that person who heart you it will increase your respect in the eyes of the other human beings.It is really hardly to act upon this but it will better for you. Also sometimes it is better for you to forgot someone who created problems in your way.In our life we need to take a very strict decisions to safe us and others who are our lovely persons.
@blazer2 (48)
• Nigeria
5 Mar 12
Honestly, its easier said than done. But lyk you rightly pointed out, its a choice. To some, forgiveness comes easy but forgeting is never always easy. But a way out I think, thaz if possible, become friend with the offender, look to his/her good side and I think forgetting will become easy.
@post2sawa (88)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
For me it is really hard both ways to forgive & forget. I think it will take time before i could forget if someone done something wrong to me, or if someone hurt me.
There is also no room for me for 2nd chance, I won't let other people to hurt or do the same mistake again for the 2nd time. once is enough, i can forgive but i cannot go on and give 2nd chance.
@thelmadacullo112659 (642)
• Philippines
15 Feb 12
Yes,it is very possible to forgive and to forget as well.Bear in ur mind that u forgive someone who committed u wrong doings, with all ur heart.And forget all those happenings as u vanish any anger to that particular person.By doing it,u are obeying and following Gods work....
