Should I go ahead and meet him... again?
By anncherry
@anncherry (406)
Philippines
February 15, 2012 9:42pm CST
I recently got in touch with a high school acquaintance through messages on Facebook. It was fun talking to him from time to time, especially since we don't really have that "pressure" factor on our conversations and we just reply whenever we can. It was nice to know that someone who you weren't that close with before remembers you, and even admitted to admiring you back then.
But on his last message, he asked me if it's possible that we could meet when he goes on vacation this February (he's currently staying in Canada), and for 2 days I didn't know what to say. Then yesterday, I replied, "Really? Why not set a mini-reunion with our IPSR mates? I'm sure they'll come! :)" and still haven't gotten a reply. Is it too obvious that I'm eluding his question? Okay, yes, it's obvious, but do you know of a subtler way of replying to that? I'm a bit hesitant since I haven't seen him for a long time. I don't even know him that much, even back in our high school days, so meeting him alone is quite... you know?
2 people like this
9 responses
@mariamac (145)
• India
16 Feb 12
As you have not seen him for a long time, its but natural for you to be a little hesitant about this whole situation. i feel it would be good if you keep this just a casual meeting over a cup of coffee and try to catch up on things. Since you are schoolmates you will have a lot of things to talk about and accordingly you can judge for yourself how comfortable you are with him. Prepare yourself as you would be going to meet just a casual friend and nothing beyond that, so you don't go in high expectations of any sort. Let him also know that its just a casual meet and not a date. Then i guess there should not be any hesitation from both the sides.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
But what I'm hesitating about is meeting him alone. By myself. I haven't done anything like that before. I usually meet someone over coffee alone if that someone is a close friend... ^^
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
17 Feb 12
Hmm.. Maybe I'll try that if I get the chance... Thanks for the advice! :)
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 12
I remembered two weeks ago a friend asked me if I have an FB account, and I told her I don't. She was surprised and asked me: "don't you want to find your friends back at schools? I replied I don't. I met several of my school friends but we didn't have the same agenda in thinking. It's like we live in a different world. Hence, I never want to nor try to look for old friends.
Back to your questions, I guess it's good to be cautious, especially when you do not know him that well back then. Just wait for his reply, if he is that keen he would meet you in whatever condition you made.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
22 Feb 12
Wow, you have a point there. :) If he really wants to meet me, then he would, under any condition. Yep! :))
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
17 Feb 12
Hello anncherry,
I understand its not that easy to meet alone someone you have not seen for so long and whom you don't know much.If i were in your shoes i also would have replied what you did.Its not that easy to trust someone on this virtual world how much close he or she is.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
17 Feb 12
At last, someone who understands. :)) I was so unsure about my answer, if it's a bit harsh or something, but I guess with that, he'll get the message. ^^
@King_Josh (25)
• United States
16 Feb 12
I wouldn't meet him alone. How long y'all been talking and why is he in canada. I would ask alot of questions like that. At the end of the day it's always nice to meet old friends and new people. You should just make sure your carefull.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
Ow, he's working in Canada since his family is also there.
It's nice to meet old friends, but he is a boy, so I would definitely think twice before meeting him alone. But I definitely don't think he's some kind of psycho or anything, I'm just not comfortable with the idea...
@thelmadacullo112659 (642)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
It is up to u.If u have still trust him and wanna want to meet him again ,then u may go,Thats ur will.But if u have in ur mind that ur no longer trusting him, then better not.Make a decision with ur own coz nobody should be blame for what will happen next, except than u...Good luck in meeting him..
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
The problem is, we haven't even gotten to the point where we can measure our trust for each other. We're not that close...
@Ernnesto (180)
• Slovak Republic
16 Feb 12
Hello annchrry,
you have to decide what you want, if you want to be with him alone why you are inviting other people. What are you expectation? If you want to give him a chance, do not invite others, but sometimes it can help the situation to get closer, firstly chat with all of the people and after you will see how the situation go on. It is hard to say but I would prefer going for a dinner just two of you. But it is just my opinion. Good luck with it.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
17 Feb 12
Hi! Thanks for your comments. :)
I don't want to meet him alone, but I'm definitely okay with seeing him again so the best option for me would be meeting him with common friends. Right? So yeah, I hope it works out that way. If not, I guess it's just not meant to happen. ^_^
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
16 Feb 12
I guess it might have been better to just suggest meetin up for a coffee, maybe he doesn't want to get together with all the others, one on one might have been easier for him, hopefully he will get back to you but I sort of think maybe one on one would be better.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
That's what I'm hesitating about, meeting him one-on-one. 'Cause I don't really know him that much. I guess I'm quite the conservative type when it comes to things like these. I only meet people one-on-one if we're already close. It's more comfortable for me to meet someone I don't know much with a group of people (with relevant interests, of course, like a reunion with high school classmates).
@vt689586 (584)
• India
17 Feb 12
You are right meeting alone with someone you did not met for long time is bit risky.and i appreciate your decision.it is good if you will meet him in any public place and then start to understand them that what is his desire and all...then decide that is it safe to meeting him alone is safe or not.
@leighz (456)
•
5 Mar 12
I think what you did was right. It will be so awkward having to spend time with the guy and showing him around after learning he's into you. It will be nice to have other people around, so you guys can loosen up and see if there's a spark. Maybe after the reunion, when he asks again then you can decide if you want to go out with him.