Being a daughter, I find it difficult to go out from my mother's hand

hi airasheila, im sure your mom is only concerned about your welfare. i think its always difficult for a mom to let go of their kids, most especially daughters and they tend to look at their children as kids, no matter how grown up they have been. im still young but i know by now that there is no way to win with moms but maybe if you can show her that you can already stand on your own, like you can handle your finances, you can cook, wash, etc. maybe she will change her mind. goodluck!

Do you want my opinion ? do what your mom want ..be with her in the same house , she loves you ,and fear on you , It was time to keep the girls in the houses of their families , to marry instead of what is happening now like the not legitimacy children who do not know their fathers . good luck

Before I used to experienced it and hoping I could also get out of my mother's hand but then I realized that somehow we need those motherly hands to guide us.. Now that I am 30 and wanted to get out, I can't..I can't leave my mom alone due to her health condition and still realizing that I am not still free!..

first, take it easy and find a better way to deal with it. The most important issue is that you and your mom lack of communication and maybe the way you express yourself is not suitable and make it hard for your mom to accept. just change it a little and try it again patiently. you must make it. good luck.

hi!airasheila, maybe your mom is just afraid that something might bad happen to you. we have the same situation before i cannot even hangout with my friends. and if i can go out i have a curfew. just extend your patience to your mom and try to understand her more or try to asked her what you really want to know like why she's doing that to you something like that. you can understand your mother once you become a mother too. slowly by slowly i understand my mother why she's very strict to me before. and i also realize that being mother is difficult but i take this as a challenge, i'm a mother now... hehehe God bless! have a nice day:)

I think more control result disobey, but in the other hand i think that our moms deserve our respect even sometimes thay take wrong decisions, like the arabic quote says: the heaven is under mom's feet

Hey airasheila don't be upset. All mother's are very protective about their daughters especially. Are you the only child, if so then maybe she has this insecurity feeling so she does not want to let go of you. As you have mentioned in your discussion that you are capable of taking care of yourself and your finances then she should slowly learn to accept that you are ready to start your own life. Ask her what makes her feel that you are not ready yet and prove her that she may be getting it all wrong. Find out what is making her feel that. I guess once you find out the hidden problem behind her behavior you will surely be able to deal with it.

this sounds so general. if you could have at least stated a specific situation where she had bad decisions and not letting you do it on your own, i could probably say something addressing the situation. anyway, here in the Philippines, families are so bonded that parents cannot bear the thought of having a child live away from them. this is the reason why even if the children are grown-ups already, they still dictate and they still control until they get used to it. some parents overdo it but some children also overdo the cry for freedom. there is no harm trying to live on your own as long as you are ready or prepared. what is keeping you?

yes mothers know best that is why they are the mother. but some mothers tend to be control her children's life that is being unhealthy for both of them. you need to talk to your mom heart-to-heart. why not invite her for dinner and have some shopping. maybe she is just trying to protect you and fear about you making mistakes and wrong decisions in life. if you are at legal age, she should gradually allow you to decide for yourself and just be around the corner for you to lean on whenever you stumble. better to talk to her of what you feel because for sure she just love so much that she's afraid losing you.

Hmmmm. That is so difficult. My mother did that too, especially choosing a religion. We are always debating to each other. I think that is a mother all about. I am not so sure, but that is what I feel. They have the rules. They always want their children to follow their rules, but for me, if you want to be free and you want to live separately, all you have to do is do not listen to her. Yes. Show her that you can stand on your own and you are doing the right thing, and that is it! First, explain your side and if she does not listen to you, just do it on your own way. Do it in a good way not a rebel type of person. Ha ha …or you can do secretly. Do not open up to her that you want to live separately and if someday, she sees you and asked her why you did those things, explained to her that the reason why you did that, is because she won’t listen to you every single detail of your explanation, but if she did not ask you anything, then its fine. Do not tell her anything and if your conscience cannot hold it any longer, you can tell her, but I do not know if she is going to listen to you. I know in the end that she will understand. Another is some people I knew become successful, but they are the rebel type of person. They become very successful in terms of desire and goals. When their parents see their children are already successful, they realized what the children want in life. They finally understood. One thing I know the real answer, “prove her that you can do it” so that she would realize that you can do it on your own, and someday she would trust you completely without feeling scared of what might happen to you. Children and parents have different character and personality type so it all depends on a situation.

We share the same feeling. My mother is same as yours. She never accepts opinions. She always follow what she think is right. Well, I can only advice try to talk to your mom whenever she is in a good mood. I think she will listen but she never shows it. Our mom loves us and only thinks the best for us. Maybe she thinks that your are still young to live on your own and she don't want you to experience what she has experience better. I think she doesn't want you to experience hardship and want to give the best for you.

It is hard for me, because I don't want to leave her. Especially now. For your case, I think your mom is scared of what might happened to you. Try to talk to her as a daughter, give her more reason why you can handle and stand on your own. Goodluck!

Hello airasheila, sometimes is hard for parents to realize that their child is getting adult. They still see them in eyes like a small child. I can understand you, what is your feeling now. It is hard to persuade them that you are able to stand on your own. Only one way is going to persuade them, you have to show them that you are capable of makeing your own dicisions. The best way how to reach your goal.