Couple with difficulty of Adopting?
By agmamayo
@agmamayo (804)
Philippines
February 17, 2012 9:10am CST
A friend of mine recently came to our humble abode to seek advise about their plan of adopting a child from a foster home. They are happily married for about 4 years and yet they're still not blessed with a child. He said that he and his wife are planning to adopt a child, so that they can truly be called a family. His wife has been longing to have her own child but until now there is none. According to him, he wants a girl to adopt but his wife in contrast likes to have a boy. Both of them keep arguing about it and he said they only intend to have a single child to adopt. whenever he tries to explain why he wants to have a girl, his wife will argue with him until they both quarrel with each other. So what do you think should this couple do, so that they can really settle once and for all, and be successful in adopting their very first child.
2 people like this
7 responses
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
18 Feb 12
this is very difficult but one must give in order for them to adopt a baby. they must really talk about it and have just one choice. or they can go to the foster home and just choose one baby or child they think they really like regardless of the gender.
@agmamayo (804)
• Philippines
19 Feb 12
Definitely, one of them should be understanding enough to give way to the other. I think that one should be the husband, he must understand that in the long run, her wife would more or less be more involved in rearing the child especially if it is still a newborn. His sole responsibility with be to go out and work for the betterment of his family. I don't think it is a great issue regarding the gender of the child whom they would want to adopt. As long as they are really kin in adopting, and keeping a child as their very own then gender should not be an issue.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
17 Feb 12
Wow, if they can't even agree on the gender of the child, how will they ever agree on how to raise him/her? What they should do is take as long as they need to get some basic differences settled and to learn to love each other first. They will never be successful raising a child until they can pull together, each caring about what the other one needs and wants.
@agmamayo (804)
• Philippines
19 Feb 12
Thats the big issue on this, they are still planning to adopt a child and yet they cannot settle any differences regarding the gender of the child they want to adopt. The couple should at least clear all there problems about gender, and see if they can meet both ends and compromise for what ever reasons they have. In building a great bonding in a family, both the father and mother need to have a very good relationship and mutual understanding. They need to work together, compliment each others strengths in order to really appreciate the beauty of having a child.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Have they thought of surrogate mother? That way, they'd h ave to take whatever gender the chi ld might be. kDoes either of them have a specific child in mind?
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
18 Feb 12
From what you are saying I don't think this couple is ready to adopt a child because if they were really longing for a child then it wouldn't mtter at all them whether the child they adopt is a girl or a boy. Also, we adopt a child to give them the love of parents and family and to privide a better life for them but if this couple cannot even resolve the issue of whether to adopt a girl or boy then how would they decide how to raise that child and to solve their problems. They really need to analyze their situation and think whether they are really willing and ready to adopt a child or not. A girl or boy should not matter because you would be adopting a child to complete your family and so you need to think only for the well being and happiness of that child...
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
17 Feb 12
I feel that the couple really needs to sit down and have a heart to heart talk before adopting because they do not seem to agree about the gender of the child. If they cannot agree on this they will not be able to agree on how to raise the child. I do not understand why the couple cannot adopt a girl first then adopt a boy later. I am sure that there are boys and girls in foster care. I think the couple needs to realize that in a marriage there needs to be compromise.
