Do you have enough patience in managing a smart ADHD pre-teener?
By airamtheb
@airamtheb (370)
February 21, 2012 7:11pm CST
I have two wards, all boys and who are my own nephews. They were with me when the eldest was 13 years old and the youngest was 10 years old because their mother had walked away from home while their father who is my brother worked abroad. The youngest who is now 13 years old was a diagnosed smart ADHD. He talks out loud and a lot, doesn't study and do his assignments but love to go around the neighborhood and be with his friends. Since I have given them house rules to observe, they are expected to observe it or else they would have to face a consequence. The ADHD boy sometimes test my patience because he reasons a lot to his wrongdoings and even treat me like we were just classmates. One time, I closed the gate and the main door after not returning home at the expected time. He was shouting, knocking and kicking the closed gate that several neighbors in the compound were disturbed that I have let him in after several minutes of waiting outside. Does anyone of you here know somebody who is also an ADHD? How do you deal with them?
2 people like this
4 responses
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
22 Feb 12
My son gave me similar troubles, even to the point of getting in minor troubles with the police. It was a heartache for a few years. He yelled at me and told me off, cursed me out, you name it. Finally a cop sat him down and told him off. made him cry. told him that woman over there - the one you constantly yell at and disrespect - she loves you- unconditionally. she is the one person you can always count on in your life - and you are willing to destroy that relationship? I tried medications, counseling, police, you name it. He finally came around this past year and has become my son again. I was mean and strict- tough love. like you locking him out - even for just a short time - it sends a message to them.
It will be a hard time - but do not back down - he needs you to be strong and discipline him. Best of luck to you!! Keep the faith!!
@airamtheb (370)
•
26 Feb 12
Thank you very much for sharing your own experience with your son. I can relate to that because he sometimes yells at me especially when I wouldn't give in to what he wants.I have already utilized a lot of strategies in my dealings with him, some were very effective while others were not. However, those considered effective have to be patiently considered or else it will lose its value every time it would be continuously utilized. The louder he shouts, the softer I would respond to him and he would later lower his voice. But in fairness, he loves to hugs and make amends to his bad ways when he is in the mood.
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
26 Feb 12
It is very sad but usually they snap out of that phase.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
22 Feb 12
I am not sure if my son is having this problem (attitude problem)
Right now I am trying to understand and give more patience.
I thought he is suffering from what is called "middle child syndrome" but sometimes I am thinking this might be ADHD.
His mood is so unpredictable,it's really hard to handle.
I just ignore him to avoid more quarrels and let him do what he wants.
Good thing he is not violent and was never been in trouble with other people.
He just want to create issues when he wants attention- like throwing tantrums.
or he behaves well or do good things when he want to ask favor.
I hope he will changed as he grows older.
He is now 16.
@airamtheb (370)
•
22 Feb 12
I have been praying he will come to pass this stage in his life when he is trying to undergo the crises in the adolescent's stage.
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
24 Feb 12
My 3 kids have ADHD and they are 14,13,and 10. I have 2 boys and 1 Girl. They are all on medicine to help them but until it starts to work(About 1 hour) they are hard to control. I have to get them up in the morning and it is always a challenge to leave for school on time. I am now giving there medicine earlier and that does seem to help a little but it is still a challenge in the morning. 
@GoldenAsh (290)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Hello airamtheb, its nice to meet you.
Parenting is not easy. I know you are going through tough times but parenting a teenager or pre-teener is very difficult even if he/she has adhd or not. TYry to understand the fact that your adhd pre-teener is already going through a lot in his life. He might be suffering from depression and anxiety and he might be having problems at school. You are there to help him. His mother and father are not there for him. You have to be patient and be a friend to him so that he can share his problems with you.
There are many remedies for adhd. adhd music therapy can help. I found a link here by Dr. Jane Maati Smith
http://sound-add-adhd-treatment.com/remedies.html
I know it is difficult but it is not impossible. Your nephew does not have his parents but he might find a friend in you. Remember that adhd is not easy.
