I want to die

Well, if it won't make any difference you might as well live as not. I can certainly understand your need to have autonomy. It is not true, however, that the world in inhuman. One family might be inhuman, or one neighborhood, or even one nation. But not the whole world. If you cannot travel physically, then travel in your mind. The world is a diverse marvelous miraculous and huge place. If you do not like where you are at, then strive to go somewhere else, but please remember that wherever you go you will not find love until you have learned to love yourself. Other people value those who value themselves. Pardon me for preaching, but you sound a bit as though you might need this advice. PS: The woman in your avatar is very beautiful.