They annoy me
By Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
Philippines
February 24, 2012 6:08pm CST
My parents wants me to work as a nurse. I really hate being a nurse, i went through hell studying for four years just to get my license. now, my parents have been deciding things for me since i was a child. i'm not happy because they never support my choice unless it coincides with their choice.
it's annoying that i want to work another job and they keep telling me to work as a nurse. i said i don't want to be a nurse and i will find another job other than that. but they insist and use guilt to make me follow what they want. they say it's for my own good. but i really hate them for doing this to me. they don't want to offer me a choice either.
when i make my own decisions and not follow theirs, they tell me i'm thick-headed and strange. i hate them so much now.
working as a nurse ain't easy. it's not that i'm afraid of failure, or i have no confidence in the job or that i don't have the guts to work as one. i just plain hated it. it is just not for me. why do they keep forcing me to work a job i clearly hate and detest. that would make me really miserable just following their orders to make them happy.
i'm tired of them doing this to me. i want to make my own decisions. make sacrifices, i don't mind, as long as the choice is mine. but here, they want me to sacrifice for their own pleasure and convenience.
i think they don't trust my judgment enough to trust me to decide for my own future and to do things my own way. they think i'm a child in an adult's body.
they would tell me i'm an adult and should know better what to do, and that is to follow them. they give me responsibilities i don't want to commit myself to. they treat me as a child when i want to enjoy myself but they don't approve of the ways i have taken to have fun.
what the hell? what am i supposed to do?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
25 Feb 12
Since you went through the school I think you are qualified as a nurse. If you insist on having another, what job will that be?
Being a nurse is good. You help people who need your help.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
25 Feb 12
I understand how you feel about it. But make sure first that you've got what it takes out there, right? Although being a nurse something you don't like but it is something you are good at. I mean you've got the hang of it.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
2 Mar 12
Nursing would be my last resort. I wouldn't be one if i could help it.
Yes, this is difficult. Even though like i feel like talking back to them i can't because they might send me out and i can't live on my own yet. that's why i need money and a good job. avoid additional burdens like getting married and having children. that would have to wait.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
i believe a lot of people, almost everyone as long as they are sincere, is qualified to be a nurse.
trust me, there are tons of people out there like me, who are nurses too. my school mates are working their butts off to find a nursing job that pays well. however, it requires a journey through hell for at least 2 years before they can go to any greener pastures.
i'm not willing to go through that hell only to submit myself to a job i don't even like. nursing is not my calling, i believe my true potential lie somewhere else. being a nurse is only my safety net.
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
25 Feb 12
I can't believe how many people here say "Be a nurse"...
Personally, I say "It's your life, do what you want with it." As long as you're not dependent on your parents for anything (i.e. can earn enough to live on, etc.) they have no say in what you do.
You want to do something else? Fine, do it. Don't expect them to like it, don't expect support and don't expect them to cover costs or pick you up if it fails... but equally they can't expect you to do what they want if you're independent.
My lady had a similar (though less pressured) situation with her parents. They never supported her decision to change subject/vocation - but she did it anyway (with my support) and has been a thousand times happier ever since. And her parents are slowly coming around to the fact that she's a grown adult who makes her own choices.
And hey, if everything turned to poo and didn't work out, you know you can do nursing while you recover and plan your next move! Now that's a hell of a good backup skill... 
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
25 Feb 12
If there's one thing I learned from my parents (and they learned from their sons, of which we are 5), it's that you can't tell them what to do when they've turned 18!
That kind of thing can cause a lot of bad feeling and it's completely unnecessary. They think they're doing the right thing, you think you're doing the right thing by not doing what they want... when really it comes down to personal choice.
If they can see that you respect the idea of nursing but that you don't want to do it (and that you have a backup plan if what you DO want to do goes wrong), I don't see why they shouldn't be happy. Not only is that the thing that will make you happier, it's responsible and well-considered (and gives them the impression that they're right, without actually accepting that they are).
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
Good day Aja103654,
As I have read your post, I somehow feel the heartaches and pains inside your heart. As I also feel the situation that I have faced before. That since they are my parents, I need to obey everything they say, they want me to do and they told me to do. That, I dont have the freedom to do what I want. That, I even redirect my career path to do what they want.
Until one day, I have feel that I am fed up and found myself very depressed. That, I always end my day having my tears falling on my eyes. That, my eyes are always dropping the tears every night. And during those days, I really cried it out to God, that, I really need to go and move out from our home. That, I asked help, wisdom and guidance from God, for I believed, God knows what is best for me. That, one time, God gave me the answer. That, He provided the courage and the words that I need to say to my mom. That, I found myself, saying those words towards her that I need to move out from our home. That, I want to built my own career. A career that its not my mom who wants it but what I have wanted for myself. That, my age is very determined enough to do what is just for me. All of those words I was able to say as God helped me out to divulged it when I have talked to my mom.
With your situation, perhaps, it will be best to pray first then try to talk to your parents. So that, God will guide you in every word that you must to say to them. It will not be easy for them to perceive it at first but for sure God will heal the wound that it might bring.
May God guide you and bless you on your decision my friend.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
thank you, aira. I really appreciate you sharing your experience to me. It is really hard when your wishes are not the same with your parents'. We are aware that they only advise us to do this and that for think it would be for our own good. however, they don't realize how unhappy i am whenever they i say no to them.
they were really upset. recently my father told me i ought to living on my own, feed myself, live by myself since i am selfishly attending only to my own wants without considering their advise.
i knew how miserable i would be if i follow the path they want for me. i would live unhappily and i think i would rather die than live in regret. i want to show them how serious and difficult this situation is for me. they just have too high expectations because i am the eldest.
okay, i will go to God and ask for guidance. wait, i've done that so many times. i just hope that God will give me an opportunity for a career that would make me happy and earn money well enough so that i won't have to depend on my parents anymore. i think my parents might find that good since they would be able to get rid of their disobedient daughter. 
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
I feel the same way too. I'm also a Nurse but I haven't practiced my profession yet it's because I'm afraid of the responsibilities of being a Nurse. I don't want that a patience will die because of my negligence.
I haven't told my parents that I don't want to be a Nurse. It would break their heart not just them but all of my relatives. All of the people who financially aid my studies. They would just said that it was a waste of time, effort and money. They would just say that you shouldn't took up Nursing in the first place if you didn't ought to be a Nurse.
Even if I don't want to be a Nurse, Even if my heart isn't really there I'll gave it a try, it's because I'm still not sure on what are the things that I really like. I usually think that there are those who strive to be a Nurse but they were unfortunate enough because they were not able to pass the NLE. Every time I think of it, it made me realize that there's a reason why I got it. It is not just you and me who feel this kind of way. I had also encountered some people online who feels like this.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
yeah, that's the thing! they always use this guilt trip on me, that i am very fortune to pass the exam at the first try. and they say i am capable of the job but they detest my attitude towards the profession.
i was like you. i didn't know what to do with my life back then so i just followed whatever my parents say to me... like a robot. now that i became a human who has grown awareness all so suddenly, my parents hated me, i suppose. i'm no longer their obedient daughter. I have become the problem child of the family, to think i'm eldest to.
hell if i care... sorry, but, they pressure me so much i begin to detest nursing more and more. the only thing i really want for them to do is shut up about it and let me think on my own. i'm trying to be an adult, duh!
crazies, i hope you will find your true passion and live a happy life without any regrets. don't mind their emotions too much, because they will realize someday(hopefully) that just because things didn't go as they had planned or expected, things would be bad.
@jadoixa (1166)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
your parents think that when you are a nurse you can go abroad and earn more so that is why they force you to take the course and have this job. that is what a lot of parents and people think nowadays, so we can see a lot of people taking up nursing..but that is not always the case..nursing job is hard and if you don't really want it,,you will not be happy and passionate about it..i have 2 sisters who took up nursing in college because of a lot of mentality nowadays that when you take up nursing you can go abroad and earn more..that's what my parents are saying and encouraging them so they take the course..but after graduation and passing the board exam my sister applied at the bank instead of the hospital..now she is doing office work and would not want to pursue a career as nurse..she is more happy with working in the office..i'm not sure with my other sister if she really wants this profession or what..well, in your case, that is definitely hard for you because you are forced on something you don't really want..also some parents don't know how to respect their children..they think that because they are the parents, they are always right and can dictate their children on what they want for them...your parents should know and realize that they have to let their children decide what career or path to take because their children will be the one who will live with it and not them,,,
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
haha, i would love to show them your post but i'm afraid they would go ballistic. i just hope some good parent or adult will tell them to stop what they are doing. as their child, i'm quite sure they won't listen to me because they have this stupid belief that they are older and that they are always right crap.
thank you. this is so real nowadays. are you one of the victims like me? hehe
anyway, i believe that true happiness isn't really in stability and in money, it's in happiness. i think your eldest sister is in the right place, i so envy her.
@yy0501 (54)
• China
25 Feb 12
I understand that's very upset to do what you don't want to do, cause I had simillar situation when I was young. My mom wanted me to do the job that I don't like, I know she did that just for my good, but I hated that. My mom was unhealty, and I thought I had to obey her, so I accepted the job.
As I'm older and more mature, I know parents' opinons are advisable in some respects. When we were young we just wanted to do what we likeed, but when we are older, we need a steady job for living.
Aja, since you've been studying it for 4 years, I think you might accept your parents' advice, maybe you'll like the nurse job better and better, and you'll do it very well. If you can't do the nurse job well in the future, you can change the job then. In my opinion, nurse is a very good and steady job, you may give you a chance to like it.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
... nursing is hellish kind of life in my opinion in my country. but, okay, i will consider what you say. someday i will try it out, if only to make my parents shut up.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Feb 12
I think you have two choices. Stay where you are, and put up with your parents wanting to control your life, or completely sever the ties and go do what you want. A hard, hard choice. You can't change your parents, so might as well be resigned to that.
@sql_cell (1427)
• Indonesia
1 Mar 12
I understand how you feel. You must have an attitude, for your choice. You do, what to do. Prove to your parents, you can live well, as a parent you would expect, without having to become a nurse. Indeed, parents want the best for their children. But, the best according to the parents. Not necessarily good for children. During his doing good, and positive, parents should provide support.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
25 Feb 12
My parents pulled the same thing on me! I do not like working around blood and sick people. I am numbers/analytical/anal. I went my own way and became more successful because of it.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
25 Feb 12
I request or suggest you utilise the oppotunity to work as a nurse. It is a very noble profession.
You will get opportunities to save people as god saves people from distress.
You may find it difficult for a few days. afterwards you will be liking it.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
maybe someday i will. but right now, i definitely don't want to work as one just to please them. i want it to be my own decision to pursue nursing. just this time, i don't feel like doing it.
thank you for responding
