broken families
By blueblush
@blueblush (13)
Philippines
February 28, 2012 8:05am CST
I have always been the transparent type of person. I don't pretend. But every time my friends would ask me on how my parents are doing I would always end up saying they're still having their "world war". A follow-up question would then be raised on were are they now. So, I would answer that my mom is with my younger siblings and my dad is in our other house and then they would go and say so they're separated and I would go and say that they're not. They're just having a very big fight.
This weekend made me realize that maybe I am in a state of denial for 3 years. My father got admitted and not once did my mother come to visit him. I asked for financial help, true that she did assisted us a little but that is with complaints and a litany of frustrations. I thought that would be a perfect chance for them to patch things up.. having my mother show compassion to my sick father and let him come home. But sadly I was wrong. To my disappointment not one of them is willing to lower their pride. I insisted on letting my father come home so that someone could watch over him after being discharged but my mom refused. My father on the other said that he wouldn't want to be in a house with my mom because it would just be chaotic. Aren't there any feelings left for each other?they did promise to stay together for better or for worse. Was all it just for the ceremony?
I always caught myself thinking and assessing everything we had as a family. I could say that we were once happy, satisfied and contented. I was the proudest girl in school because I know that even though we don't have much, I do have a perfectly happy family who loved one another. But it's all gone now... and for what reason? pile-up minor issues ( well, I do consider them minor) and a business gone bad.. not the really the dreaded stuff like adultery / polygamy.
They don't listen to us nor do they listen to their other relatives. What do you think I should do to help them?I pity my younger sister 'coz she wasn't able to experience how it is like to have a complete family. I'm afraid that this might damaged her emotionally and psychologically. Need advise please.
4 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Do not feel bad for your sister. She can't be looking for something she has not experienced before... and maybe it is more of your denial that is i am bothered about than your sister. I would feel the same if i was in your shoes too... they can patch things up and only one has to lower their pride and they could be on the door trying to talk to each other. maybe you just need to give it some time for them to realize each other's fault (if and when they do).
Maybe at this point, what you can do is to pursuade your father to live his life fully, and for you to tell your parents that you and your sister respect their decision, but would be happy if they will try to work it out. make them remember that they had once loved each other so much and that they once thought they could never be without the other. Family is important. since there are no third party involved, i believe it is easier to make them kiss and make up - unless if the other has already lost the feelings for the other...
Sometimes our parents just are not telling us everything, try to get them to be open to the both of you and that way you would fully understand the weight of the issue your parents are facing. i believe there is underlying cause as to why they have become this way. it could not be the "minor" issues you mentioned.
@nyang1984 (464)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
i'm sorry to hear that blueblush. God never gives us problem that we can't handle. maybe you and your family try to join counseling maybe in that way their marriage will be rejuvenated and they will learn how to listen to each other. coz i don't think separation or divorce can be the best solution when we can still find ways to reconcile our family relationships.
and always pray to God and ask for guidance and enlightenment for you and for your parents.
God bless. :) all is well.
@heartbit (237)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
if this is such the case of your parents, maybe it is better they are separated and accept that fact. being together again is actually your parents to decide, although you can always keep on trying to bring them back. it is good though you have happy memories to cherish. as for your sister, i think it is better that this kind of situation is explained properly to her early on so she would more or less understand given her young age.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
They are coward, and selfish. They don't even think that they still have kids that need them. They are scared to face the truth, because truth hurts.
All I can say is that, you are a strong girl, keep that! Your youngest sister need you when your parents turn into kids. Be the referee for those kiddoo. You are different from them and you can do better. Help them, because they cannot do it on their own. Don't be involve to their fight, but be the guide.
