She's Pregnant But It's Not His

Your friend should not have put you in this position. It is almost as if she is trying to make you choose one of them. You can turn around and encourage her to come clean, but only if she really is sure the baby is not his.

Hi ladym33, although both of them are my good friends whom I care for them equally. But I realize that no matter how caring I'm upon them such situation yet have to be solved by themselves. If her boyfriend really loves her he would accept the baby and love it too. It's always wise to let the opposite side knows the truth before the authentic paternity revealing later. If her bf couldn't accept the truth it's better not to get along any more. Happy posting

I think that it would depend. I know both of them, but who did I meet first? Did I know the girl first or the guy? I think that if it was the girl I would keep it private but if it was the guy I'd feel inclined to let him know. Though if I care for them both equally it would be hard to do either. I would encourage the girl to tell the guy, and I'd let them know I was there for both of them. If the girl loves the guy, and he her then maybe it could be worked out. Of course they'd have to figure out what went wrong, why the girl had an affair so to speak, or just what happened.

Unless the woman was basically like a sister to me, I would tell her boyfriend without having any qualms. If she was like a sister to me, I would apply some serious pressure to have her come clean with him. He has a right to know that his girlfriend has cheated and lied. It will hurt a lot less now than if it comes out later on. Plus, depending on the state, a man can get stuck with supporting a child that is not biologically his if there is a father-like bond established. Meaning, if he doesn't find out before that baby is born, finds out later and leaves his lying girlfriend, he could still be on the hook for child support. Also, what if she picked up something extra other than a fetus? This guy has the right to know so that he can go get tested to make sure that his cheating girlfriend hasn't given him a disease.

You tell her to admit it to her couple. He is not gonna be even half hurt if she really tells the truth now then maybe he getting to find out later by himself. If she really loves him, she will. But I guess that if she involved with other man, she may not like him. You should also say what you think about the situation to her. That'll probably relieve you if you like them equally. P.S: If your friend tells to her couple, you should support him to make him feel better and not guilty for something that is your friend's fault. (He will, believe me)

Leave that alone. Say nothing to the gentleman, it's not your concern. Past experience has taught me that a couple could be in all kind of trouble in their relatonship, including what you described, but at the end of the day, they could trash out their problems during their pillow talk at night, and in the meantime while you trying to be a friend, you could end up being the bad fellow. I know because I've been there, and never me again, it was quite painful FOR ME. As we say in trinidad "stay outta d people business". However, if you feel this urgency to do something, encourage the young woman to confess her transgressions, but other than that take my "stupid" advice,don't put yourself in the middle of something that could cause real issues for you, when all you're trying to be is a good friend. It may sound selfish but it's all about self preservation.

If a friend was to tell me something in confidence, I would be bound to keep that confidence if I said I would. In a case such as what you describe here, I would encourage my friend to come clean and tell the truth about the situation as these things can come out later and cause a lot of hurt and pain. Whoever the baby's father is may get to find out about the birth and want to see his child and then the boyfriend would find out in the worst possible way, possibly after believing the baby was his all along. It seems that many people are content to live with lies in their life, and this is a great shame for society. _Derek

If you are asking my advise- I would shut up about it and realize that my friend's personal business is non of my own. If you tell anyone, you are breaking your friends confidence. This makes you no better than she!

Talk to her in confidence and plea with her to tell the truth instead of living a lie. Ask her to put herself in the bf shoes. How would she feel if she were him and had been lied to about it then finds out somehow later the truth on his own. It would be better to tell him the truth now. Who knows maybe her loves her enough it wont matter to him if he is not the father.

this issue are very intriguing and scandalous, on the part of both side, but I think if they can accept the fact that they done a mistake from the past and ready to forget the past because of love that binds them. just face the truth and never live in lies. just face the consecquences that this mistake does have to be something to know who you really are and just really know if you will be still love by the man that you would share love and care, don't be afraid to tell it personally before its too late that other would know about it as if its already told to you as her friend, someday you'll understand your self if you would take the risk

I guess the best you can do is stick out of it and not get between them. I know that for me it would be a moral dillemma - keep a secret that means lying to your friends' boyfriend or husband, or betray your friends trust by getting involved and telling the boyfriend? It's a hard position to be in but I think the best choice is to probably let your friend handle how she wants (but make sure you let her know your feelings on what's 'right').

I wouldn't tell him but I would STRONGLY encourage her to do so, before the child is born. She put you in a horrible situation, I wonder how much she values your friendship by doing that to you knowing that you are friends with the both of them. Such a shame, I really hope she comes clean soon.

Hi ladym, That's mind-boggling and I'd want my friend to tell the truth. If she's sure that the baby's not her boyfriend's then it's his rights to know the truth, not from you though. You don't want to get in between them even if they're your real friends. If I were you I'd convince her to tell him what's up because sooner or later he'd know it and he'd want it to come from her rather than from another person.

Dilemma for you! This is a really hard decision, because no matter what choice you make, there's gonna be problems. Look at it this way, you pick the girl's side, you keep the secret, when he sees she's pregnant, he'll blow. If you pick the guy's side and tell him, the girl will be obviously be pissed at you for not keeping a promise. It's a difficult choice, but ultimately, it's up to you.

Friendship is not conditional and neither is confidence. If she confded in you such a thing, you should keep your mouth shut. There are numerous ways for the boyfriend to discover that the child is not his, paternity test, someone else tells him, the baby looks like someone else, she could tell him or may have already told him, or be planning to tell him. The last thing in the world you want to do is 1 betray her confidence (if she asks who told him he will tell her, or she will know. 2get involved in a matter so personal. If you do nothing there is always going to be a time when you can change your mind. Spill it now and you rsk your friendship with one or both of them. If she can be sure before the baby is even here that it is not his, when it comes he will begin to suspect because there has to be some period of time in which he was not "seeing" her for her to be sure. Let the situation evolve and then decide if you want to let the cat out of the bag!

Keep y our mouth shut. Pretend that you did not hear what she said.

i will tell her to talk to his boyfriend about it. i can't do anything because it is too personal and if i am close to both of them, it will be unfair if i will side with one. it is not an easy situation because i know his boyfriend will feel devastated and might do something that could harm her and the baby. so the girl must be careful on how she will break it with the guy.

I wouldn't say anything personally, but I might say for the said person to tell him instead.

I do believe that this is something that she should tell him. If I were friends with him as well though I would let her know that I will give her plenty of time to tell him. If she wouldn't tell him with in a reasonable time then I would tell him. It's only fair to him that he knows this isn't his child. As I'm sure he's planning like it is his. But I would definitely in the end tell him if she hasn't by the time she's almost due.

For my friend to confide to me is out of trust she had for me. I will certainly not betray that trust. r the fact that i care for them equally, the other one has not trusted to the extend of confiding on me. TRUST is priceless, as such must not be betray!!!