chances for love
By yunako
@yunako (74)
Philippines
February 28, 2012 10:14pm CST
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for more than 3 years. Between this years, we have our on and off moments.The first time we separated was when i caught in his cellphone the text messages between him and another girl. The second time was when I called him and a girl answered his phone.Lately, I rang back an unanymous no. in my fone and I found it was the same girl whom he was with before. I dont know how I feel at that moment. Totally mixed emotions i had that day. Imagine the guy I love so much did the same thing hurting me with the same girl.But then i imagined our moments together. We had great time and laughs and smiles when we were together.I forgive him everytime he made mistakes. That's how I love him. For the fact also that throughout our relationship, we never have a single arguments or fight when we were together. I only have the guts to fight in the phone but when i see him everything seems vanished. He is so kind andd gentle when together. He takes care of me so much. But my problem is everytime when we're not together he became lost. This ex-girlfriend of him keeps inserting in our relationship. He said he loves me but he doesnt want to hurt me anymore. And so I asked him if he wants me to let him go.But he said "NO". The past day, he told me that he had a talk with the girl and he told her to forget him. He didnt want to lose me. And to my surprise he also brought me to their house which was unlikely of him.No matter how hard i tried to refuse setting foot on their home, I was able to meet his family. And now I was confused if he truly changed. Do i have to give him another chance for this? I need your advice and opinions..
1 person likes this
10 responses
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Well, in my opinion 3years of relationship with the guy will be put to waste just because of a text message from her former GF. As you have said, you have a great time being with him and during those times I guess you have already known him too much.You even asked him to choose between you and his ex and he picked you. Now, he even introduced you to his family, I think he is really serious to be his partner in life.
This is just my opinion, weigh it with other members advises because in the end it's you who will decide. Good day my friend.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
I think picking you and introduce to his family is a proof enough that he really cares for you. As you have said he had not done this to his former GF. Trust is the number one requirement for a couple to be successful.
@yunako (74)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
yeah, we had great times that's why i cant think of losing him right now. Somehow it came to my mind that he chose me over here, maybe that's a reason enough for me to to trust him again.That action of him bringing me to their house lately and even having dinner with his family actually makes me confuse. And as what i discovered, that ex-gf of him never had the chance to set foot on their home.
@QHLY130 (8)
• China
29 Feb 12
i usually read those storys that simmilar to what you said from the Internet, especially the Tanya Forum, by the way, are you chinese?
in my opinion, the most important thing is to ensure the relationship between them is really broke up, don't believe what you BF said, you shoud know, generally speaking, the words from men worth nothing. and you said you have already meet his family, in my country, it's a important time for everyone, the attitude of his parents is also important to your judgement. best wishs!
@magester1 (148)
• Argentina
29 Feb 12
I actually feel a little insulted by that.
I should probably clarify that saying I am a man.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
29 Feb 12
That would be a really hard one for me. I can see myself forgiving him once. But I wouldn't forgive him repeatedly. It would all be too much pain that I don't deserve. I'm sorry to see that he continues to be unfaithful to you. The decision to forgive him again is up to you. You have to be sure though that he is going to stay faithful to you. It's not asking to much of him. How would he feel if you were with another guy?
@yunako (74)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
He asked me also about that. Why did I forgive him for so many times. He told me he didnt deserve someone like me.But when i get mad to him, everytime i think of the good times we had melted my anger away. It so happen that as of now i cant imagine myself without him.It also cross my mind what if i find another guy.But it seems a childish act to do that cause i know i won't easily can find other man the way i feel for him.
@yaso4u (502)
• India
29 Feb 12
Hi yunako,
Its about you, your boy friend and his so called ex-girl friend. So you three have to meet together and short out the issue. You personally meet that girl and talk to her about your feelings and your relationship with your boy friend. Try to analyze her point of view and make a decision. I hope all three must sit together and talk alot to solve this problem permanently. Hope you got my point.
Keep update about the progress.
I hope best things will happen to you. Have a nice day ahead.
@yunako (74)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Hello yaso4u. I refuse to talk with that girl eventhough she wanted to talk to me. Even my boyfriend was hesitant to have me face that girl because according to him, she's a bit wild and violent. Not that i cant fight for myself, but it's like stooping from my level talking with such girl. She cursed and spoke harsh words and it would be a humiliation if such outburst occurs.
@magester1 (148)
• Argentina
29 Feb 12
If you count the text message then this would be his 4th chance.
I don't say that's worth it. If you were clear you wanted it to be an exclusive relationship then he should have honored that.
I strongly disagree with those who think if someone cheats once then he'll always do it, there are too many variables and factors that influence that. However, this guy has than it more than once, and taking you to meet his family seemed like a desperate attempt to keep you, not to actually introduce you.
@yunako (74)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
He did it not just once but thrice. And so this is his 4th chance. I'm thinking this would be the last. no matter how much i love him, my heart is bruised and hurting too much. If ever it gonna happen he'll do it again, i guess there's not much pain im gonna feel anymore.this will be the last time.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Since he really does not want to lose you and to the point of introducing you to his family would be an assurance, but on the other hand, the third party issue is best settled first, and hopefully it would turn out best for you. Be assured, trust him and continue on loving him the way you want to be loved.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
29 Feb 12
It rings my bell when you said you never have a single arguments or fight with him when you were together. So it means when you are seeing each other it is like nothing happened? And the two of you are just fighting over the phone?
You must have communication with your partner and in case like this it is really normal to argue and fight but of course don't make it routine because that is not healthy anymore. Seems that there will be a big cause of issue and you must be alarmed for it, yes there is a third party which must be really a big threat to your relationship because that is for sure it will ruin everything. Just think about it. It doesn't mean that he is sweet, gentle and all you must be carried away. You know some guys who are in taking advantage of the situation. And face it, many of us girls can be really easily fooled by a man. Don't rely on his promises and you must set limitations. Because for sure that is going to be an addiction if he keeps on fooling you then same scenario that he is expecting you to forgive him all over again. I don't he already change. For sure he is not matured enough to handle relationship. In the first place if he does not want to lose you how come he is flirting with other girl? Common sense!
If I were to ask my final answer is NOT TO GIVE A CHANCE! because again he will do the same thing like a pattern already. It is like his thought about love is not coming from the heart but between the legs.
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
1 Mar 12
Cheating in a relationship is something that I would never be able to forgive and forget. I would never even forgive someone once if they cheated on me. And, fro what you are saying, your bf has done 2-3 times already and you forgave him for that. Personally, I would never have done that. Your bf doesn't seem very trustworthy and has already hurt you so much and given you so much pain by cheating on you with his ex-girlfriend. If he says that it is entirely the fault of his ex-gf then don't trust him since he was a part of it as much as her. Also, how did he change so much all of a sudden and what is the guarantee that he won't hurt your feelings another time...All I can tell you is to be careful and to think relaly well before you decide anything but at the end it is your choice that matters the most. Best of luck...
@TravieParks (27)
• United States
29 Feb 12
Wow, this seems very complex, I really hope from reading this that your boyfriend has realized that all this is hurting you and took the change for the better, I would personally give the guy another chance to see where things would lead to, hopefully to a better future. If things start to fall back to him sending text messages to his ex, when he should've suppose to cut her off, then he's not worth your time and affection, despite the great times you guys have.
@yunako (74)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Yeah he knew he'd been hurting me repeatedly that he said he didnt deserve me. As of now i'm holding on to him. Hoping that this time all about them with that girl is really over. But i cant help myself on thinking and feeling that one day he will do it again to me. Maybe this time would be the last chance..
