People who live off their parents

I do not understand why a grown up who can be very productive and helpful to the society just sit down and wait for his or her parents hard earned cash. It shows lack of responsibility on the side of the child. On the other hand, some parents should learn to let their children go. You cannot live with your child for the rest of your life. What happens if you are no longe there? I think the most important thing a parent should do is to guide their children on how to be more responsible and how to survive outside a comfort zone.

I'm guilty of this. I had finished my studies, I had earned a degree but I'm still unemployed. My relatives is expecting me to work this year, they're hoping that I'll be the one who will help them in their business. Yes, I am much more aware of that. The main reason that I'm still dependent on them is that when I earned money, they will be so dependent of me. My father will leave us and he will stay with his mistress. My mom will abuse because he will just be staying at home and having some drinking session with her friends. I can move out from our house anytime I want, I can look for a job anytime but I won't do such reckless things. For the mean time, I have to live comfortably in my life because I know one day this will all be gone.

I live with my parents because my husband had lost his job late last year and earlier this year he has a serious foot condition that does not allow him to work. he is wheel chair bound and since the house is not handicap accessible I have to stay at home to take care of him. I help my parents the best I can by helping with the cleaning, cooking dinner a few nights a week and by paying the heating bill. I am trying to make extra money on here so I can help more. I am in an online graduate program and will have my first masters degree and then I will start a second masters degree. I give some of my financial aid money to my parents to help out, but I save most of it so I can eventually move out.

hi there friend, I agre3e with you completely , it is despicable and outrageously irresponsible for a parent to let there children live off of them i fro one had been in that position once and am never going to do it again i promised myself that the only way to honor my parents is if i would be independent and be progressive in my life, period!

I didn't quite get what you where referring to. Do you think that people who leave their parents and start a new family are despicable, or those who don't even call their parents , forgeting about the, are? I'm sorry. I think nothing is wrong living your old life behind, and starting a new one, as long as you don't forget where you've started, and those that raised you.

There is no right or wrong on this topic, depends on personal current situation on both sides children and parents, some parents need their children around maybe becuase of disabilities of some kind, and vice versa. Its not really cool to judge and make descions, on one veiw only basis. But I do see you point of veiw form one side of the spectrum.

Hi Aja! It's really sad that there are kinds of people like that. Indeed, those kinds of people who depend on their parents forever are unforgivable. I actually think they are society's unwanted people. Because they don't contribute anything. My sister was once like that. I hated her because she only did what she wanted to do and she even got pregnant and got separated and now, her kids live with my mother. I would have hated her forever but she finally found it in herself to look for a job. She's now working abroad, thanks God. I also think parents have fault in this, too. After all, they are the ones who brought up their kids. Parents who love their children so much to the point of indulging their children to be useless are not doing their children any good. This kind of love is stupid. If you love someone, you have to make them worthy. You have to raise them to be productive. And besides, it will not be good because if they are gone, their children will not be able to live by themselves.

Parents are parents they are here for their children even it is for moral or financial support parents are always there for them. But some parents too don't know how to balance the situation if they helped the children to stand on their own or to depend on them. Some children abuse their parents for being dependent to them even they have their own family. I saw lots of parents striving for a job even though they are old for the sake of their children and grandchildren. How pity of these parents who did not enjoy their old age. And somehow we did not know when they are still alive.

OH...my dear AJA, that is such a simple answer for a simple world! It is so easy, to be so practical..WHEN you are NOT a parent. BELIEVE me, these things are SO easy to say...BUT, if you were this set in your ways, as a parent..be prepared for a wake-up call. Things DO NOT always go as we like, NOR think they should be! As a parent..you must be pliable, and expect the unexpected! As a parent, I cannot make such definitive statements! As a parent.."I give you WINGS, so that you can fly...but I always will be a soft place to land!" That's the best parent I can be!

I think is easier said than done. When you are a parent, no matter what kind of a son/daughter you are. They will still accept you no matter what. Even if they talk to you about getting a job or to study to get out of college, they still cant resist helping or supporting their kids. Sometimes it happens not just happens to a parent-kid relationship but also to siblings as well.

Okay. I guess you can either blame the kid or his parents. Or even society. In my culture and country, family is the utmost imporatnt. So much that even political craps usually entangle their families with their deeds. Everything is family-oriented - there are political dynasties, family corporations and other familial extensions. Most of the time, you can easily remember or recognize a perosn due to his family connection rather than his own individual work. There are some children who are sheltered by their parents and there are parents who cannot cut the bond between them and the child. Sometimes, trust and money are hard to deny to family member and usually, it is easier for adult children to listen to parents. I don't know really how parents tolerate this kind of behcavior but I have a feeling that there are on a 'hopeful' assumption that their child will finally take the hint and work (or do whatever they should be doing). However, they also cannot tolerate or deny their child when the latter is in need. Perhaps they know that they aren't helping, but the tug of blood, flesh and bone cannot be denied and it is always easy to give in.

I definitely think there are different situations. If my children thought they could make it on their own and then realized they couldn't quite make it, I would definitely give them a roof over their head. I would tell them its either school or work though. In this hard economy I know its tough finding work so I would not put a time limit on it. Would I allow them to do nothing and be lazy? No. My husband and I with our children recently had to stay with my parents. My husband got hurt on the job, and had surgery from it. It was terrible because I could not even work because my husband could not physically take care of the kids. He could not even care for himself which made it tough. We were there for about 6 months and I felt bad because I felt like we were not doing much at the time. We were helping though by giving them food stamps so at least we provided all the food in the house. Now thank goodness we are out of there. So I think there are different circumstances on this one. But I do not think its good to enable someone to be lazy no matter what their age...

I totally agree with u, i moved in my own apartament at age of 17, it have been already 13 years since i`m working and making money on my own and stopped depending on my parents. Ofc they helped me in the major issues with some money, like buying the apartament and finishing college but i don`t have to ask them to buy me some jeans or to give me money to go out with my friends.

It's really weird for a legal adult to live in his parent's house. He should let them live in peace or in retirement or whatever. Some may misues their parent's love and use up their cash. It's really weird, but not unheard of.

As a parent, I try my best in educating my children. I also want the best for my child. I just hope my son does not forget his parents, though living far away, or could not help parents. What is important, my children, always loved me, as a parent.

my parents have quite a lot of money. they buy me gifts and lend me money a lot. and would buy me groceries too. however i have a full-time job, pay my own bills, my own rent, and support me and my partner who is currently out of work. so whilst my parents help me out.. i do not live off them. by any means. and i never ask for anything, they offer :)

It's one thing to say what you are going to do as a parent. Your not a parent at all so you don't know what its like yet all. When you have kids then you can voice your thoughts on the matter. As mom and a daughter I can tell you its not that easy getting out on your own doing things on your won. You can't just can't walk out into the world and think all of a sudden your going to have a job making money to the point where you can support yourself. It doesn't work that way for most all people. My brother and I are still needing help from our parents and we are all ranger from the ages of 23 to 30 years old. I don't have a job so that makes me a bad person because I need help with money to pay rent so my daughter has a home and food on the table as well as clothes on her back. Then shame on you for being so harsh on people in the world life isn't cheap a small end job can't pay forever thing. I've been living off of my parents since the day I was born. Yeah I've had jobs I've worked I hate working so now that I'm a mom I don't work. I could work and no afford child care for my child. Then your going to be saying were the father. Well he is here he works all day what little money we do have it isn't much we are always broke half of the time. We try to pay ourselves with what we can. We have public assistance that doesn't pay for much really. I'm having another baby I could always get a job but then you know what my daughter wouldn't have either of her parents in her life. Other people would be raising her she wouldn't be mine and my husbands child. So you shouldn't judge people too quickly. Some times it takes years where you have to either live at home or even out on your own you need help. Did you ever stop to think that maybe our parents have been in the same place and they are just trying to help so your not in the same spot as they where in such a way where maybe they weren't around or maybe they had to use others to not only take care of your but to help provide for you. Its part of being a real parent is that you always no matter how old your children get you look out for them and they look out of your. Yes taking money with out asking your parents or even someone else is wrong. Some people never want any money back and some will. My parents they never want the money back that they have given me and my brother or even me an my husband. You know why it not because they are blinded by love. They do love is that is and endless love that only a parent could understand. But they want is to be okay they want us to be happy and some people are happy being a home saving money to be able to live on there own but if you never try with little money then you'll never really learn what its like and how really hard it is to start out with nothing but dirt on your shoes. If that means borrowing money that you may never give back that is fine in my book. I would do the same for my children in a heart beat for my daughter just so she could have what maybe I never had at the start. A cheap apartment its better then nothing but it doesn't mean its affordable. I rather my kids in a place that kind of okay and safe then out on the street with no food.

I agree with your points but it depends on the case. I guess if you are already a parent and your kid will help your need because he ends up in a situation he didn't want to - you will still give him shelter and foods until he is ready to stand up again. If you also get in a situation where you might be our of job or can't get any job and without money - I guess your parents will help you out too. Parents and kids much support each other. But then of course both must not abuse each other.