What do you do when a friendship is one sided?
By Caitiebaby
@Caitiebaby (20)
March 2, 2012 3:08pm CST
So, here is the situation...just wondering if anyone has a opinion on what to do. There is this girl that I used to be very close to. We hung out together and even lived together at one point back in the day. We eventually parted ways, got married, and had children. About three years ago, we reunited and both us, our husband and children became very close again. We were all like best friends and did everything together. They went through some terrible times with a house fire and my husband and I were there every step of the way! After their lives started to settle down again things kinda got weird between us. They stopped returning phone calls, ignored txts, ignored invitations by us to have dinner..and yada yada yada. Last year I decided to ask her what was going on. I wanted to know what we did and why they were basically ignoring us when befoer when they needed something, we were fantastic. She appoligized, saying there was no reason and that she wanted things back to how they used to be. After a couple of weeks of being "the good friend" again things just went back to the exact same way. So a year later, I ask her the same thing. I get the same answer. Ive pointed it out two times and both times she continues to make no effort. Do I just call it a day and walk away? Its not like she doesnt know I feel and how it hurts. Am I wasting my time? Like I told her, I dont wanna force our friendship and my door has always been open. What would you do?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Glitznglitter (389)
• Canada
4 Mar 12
Sometimes we end up being the one always doing for the other friend to try and keep the friendship at it strongest point. It sounds like this was the situation you are in, there for the friends when they needed you and once they no longer needed you they pushed you away.
Could it be that they felt bad that you were there for them when they were so down and out and didn't know how to thank you, or to repay you for everything that you had done for them?
If you continue to make that effort to bring the relationship back to normal and are only getting stonewalled at every angle maybe it's time to relax and let them come to you? If they are the true friends you believe they are they will see the error of their ways and come back to you.
Sometimes friendships just grow apart and there is no real reason for it just that your lives have gone in very different directions.
@Caitiebaby (20)
•
13 Mar 12
Absolutley! Your comment is a fantastic life lesson. People change, lives grow apart and sometimes there is no reason for it. I guess I just found it so hard because my feelings were pointed out on more than one occassion. It was also recognized and she appoligized on both occassions because I felt the way I did. I have decided to let it go for now. She knows where I am and she knows that I am here. Like I told her, I am not begging anyone for their friendship so I guess until an effort is made on her behalf then things will just continue the way they are. Thanks for your input!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Mar 12
I have found through my life that I seem to be the doer within my friendships, maybe I pick the wrong friends I don't know but I would say a large proportion of my friendships seem to be one sided.
@Caitiebaby (20)
•
2 Mar 12
Me too, most defanatley! Its so frustrating sometimes. I feel that they put the effort into the people that do not really care and the ones that do get no effort at all! With this above friend...its like "out of sight, out of mind". If I run into her, shes just thrilled to see me...but cant return a phone call. Arggg. lol
