Saying no to other people

Upon you discussion,I sense that you are a sensitive one,at least more than me ! Maybe the way handdling things like that is the permanent difference between male and female.AS a man ,at least now,i do everything that i can for my love ones ,from which i can get satisfied.I am the oldest brother in the family so I have more obligations to support my family.AS you are being oleder ,you will understand your loved ones are the reason for your exist--at least in my culture!

I am one of those people who seem to find it very difficult to say "no" I think they call people like us" pleasers ", It is hard for some people to say "no" and that is not a bad thing but it is sad that there are people who will take advantage of.

I am slowly learning to say no to people. I have found that my own family it is a little easier because they know me better. they know that i will not say no unless I am completely swamped with other things.

I'm afraid the older I get, the easier it is to say no. The more often you say yes, the more people ask you to do. I try to address real needs, and will say yes when something is really needed -- not just wanted. And I think helping family and close friends is more important than helping acquaintances . I'm much more likely to take someone to a medical appointment if they don't have a ride than to go out to lunch when I don't have time to.

Before, I really have difficulty saying no to favors. But as time goes by I've learned to teach myself in saying no to some. As long as you are willing and happy to help, then say yes to the requests. The moment you started having the feeling that everyone feels you are readily available or that no one recognizes the favors that you do, then I think it's time to say no. You may need to take a break from doing favors and focus more on yourself now. You may start saying yes again when you are ready.

i understand where you are coming from 100%. i have the problem of saying "no" to family and even to my friends. my grandma is sick and i dont know how long she will be around. it seems that i am the only one that will do anything for her but i have a family of my own (a husband and 2 kids). dont take this wrong i long my grandma and when the time does come i will go thro life saying "i am so glad i did all of that and we had plenty of time to spend together" and when shes gone i will miss doing all this for her but i feel like i am not there for the family i do have now. i am rarely home and it gets very stressful and hard to even do the daily tasks around my house. there are many times i do not feel like going over there and i rarely say no so i guess i am not much help but the few times that i have i hate to say it i had to lie and tell them i made plans with an old friend or somethinglike that. i hate to lie to them but sometimes it gets to b to much when you dont have ne time for yourself...not to mention i dnt sleep much at night ne more..

Saying no to other people is right .As one can't do anything to other people .the reason for it maybe he is busy or he has some difficult .Others should not be so hard on him.On the other hand, saying no to others is difficult in a way.Maybe the person turning to you is in a very desperate situation.he has no choice but to ask for your help.In that case we should try our best to help him no matter whether it is successful.

Very difficult to say no specially to our family or close friends even I not like but cant say no. But some time this is important then no problem to say no. I can tell them no for any work if not possible for me.

I have in the past really put myself out to help others in the family, but today at 64 I will do what is not to difficult but if it means putting myself out I make it clear that I have done so. Also I will help others who find life difficult or those who put their-self out for me. For the latter there will always be reward in some way or other usually finding that direct cash is usually refused. No is a difficult word and I agree it is upbringing that makes it difficult.

Hi there seriousnuts, I try to avoid conflicts early on so i just say no, because knowing myself if i really cant do the job i wont do it, and that would be wrong fro the other person because they might have trouble having it done if i said i cant do it late so better just say it, anyway most of the time the errands they give me are small.

Hi seriousnuts, I've also felt that way that it's difficult to say no specially when it's your parents who started to give favors to your relatives. Sometimes those favors cause conflicts because others will see it as favoritism. For those you helped they most often don't give back the favor even if you're asking something they can easily do. A good example of this is my relative who always borrows almost anything like rubber shoes, travelling bag, necktie, and even money for a payment for their motorbike. Aside from that particular family, my mom also had other siblings who ask favors from my mother which I think should be less often. It's nice to be dependable but it really sounds ridiculous that they can't find any other person who they can ask these favors. Through the years that I saw my mom giving in to their requests I found that saying no wouldn't mean you're being selfish. From time to time I do give them a favor but whenever it's something I know they are capable of doing it themselves or they can ask it from someone else I simply say no and say that I'm busy. I don't need to explain more than they should know because it's not always ok that you let them make use of your time and effort. Helping is good but it's better to help those who are really in need and have no other means of getting help.

Sometimes yes i find it difficult to say no especially to the people I care about. But sometimes its better to say no than give them false assurance. Because you might not be able to meet the demands.

yap, it's difficult to say "no". as for me, when that happen i just say "i can't promise you to do it, but i'll try"

I do a lot of weighing before I say Yes or No, especially when its about money matters. Earning money is not easy nowadays, and before you could help others, you have to make sure you have enough for yourself. They should understand that. Also, instead of saying No, you can help them by directing them to a different solution. For example, if they want to borrow money, and you don't have enough to spare, you can refer them to a friend or another family member, or give them an idea on how they can get the money they need.