How would you feel?

I honestly have maybe 2 people I can confide into on just about anything that goes on in my life. I will say at times that they have told they aren't sure what to say or even have told me I don't want to get dragged in. I too feel hurt at times when they tell me that. I also understand too though as they may have problems of their own or say maybe the topic going on involves another friend of hers and she doesn't want either of you feeling like she is picking sides. I will say that alot of people come to me to confide into and I sometimes will say you know I will listen but I wont be in the middle. Especially if they both are very good friends of mine. I like to keep the peace and not start war. At the same time sometimes you feel like you have no body when it does seem like everyone is turning their back on you. What I like to do is keep journal entry's for when it seems like I'm all alone with no one to talk to. Then when you feel all like is better you then can always go back to the journal and try to figure out good solutions for the next time the issues arise.

The people who do great things, and solve big problems usually are those who are able to think for themselves. They will bring others in to do the work, but the primal idea is their own. This is your chance to do your own thinking and to solve your own problem. When you have tried this, and have found success, you will find an inner strength, and you will grow from the experience!

Maybe its just too much for her....think about it....how much have you really confided in her...is she carrying around alot of your problems....do you talk to her about good things too? Being a friend usually means that you are always there for someone....but sometimes there is overload! Back off and let her be the kind of friend she wants to be....and when she decides she can handle some more...well then resume confiding in her...also is she close to the problem? That might make a difference too!

I don't really have anyone I can confide in. My BFF lives in another state and its hard to talk to her about things. I think that it takes alot of cutsba (nerve) to tell someone this. She must feel strongly. She may even feel like she is in the middle or she might have a personal edge to this. her saying she didn't want to talk to you tells me she may be personally involved in this perhaps.

Hi Loving, That is upsetting. Yes, I always confide in my closest guy friend. I am so sorry that happened to you. If that happened to me, I would feel terribly hurt and betrayed by the person. Do you think you will stay friends with the person?

hi LovingMyBabies this happens. you know we all are humans who are too occupied with so much on our little brains and even a smaller heart. It just might have been that this friend of yours was occupied with something or even didnt want to get involved into something that she might think to be bigger. I am a lonely guy dear. Have a wife no doubt but she is away. And it has been over two months now. She will still be away on duty(work). So more or less, at this moment, there is none I can look up to for confiding. Never mind, I have some better people here at MyLot who have been around, bearing with me and my not-so good discussions too. Thanks to them, they have been better many a times than many I know.

I just got my guy and dear friend and my Indian brother. But before I had them, I talked to no one. I would feel hurt and so alone if any of these guys said they don't want to talk about it. I'm so sorry your friend bolted. If I can help, let me know.

I wouldn't worry about the fact that your close friend wants to be left out of a situation. She may feel compromised if she knew certain facts that you share with her, escpecially if it concerns another person. It can be difficult if the other person also wants to tell her things and she may feel torn between the two of you. Lots of people share things with me as a therapist and I always have to keep them to myself. Things can beome clearer when you can share them with somebody, but if this is not available, then meditation and reflection is good. At the end of the day we need to be at peace with ourselves.. _Derek

I don't have anyone close to confide in. Very little family left. I go to a counselor for help with the serious stuff.

Well it would really be a rather jarring situation where I would feel kind of upset but there are times where we do tend to lean on people as a crutch a bit too much. I can relate from being on the other side of the equation, where people really just come to me with their problems far too often. Granted, it is good to confide in people, but there is times where a line is going to be draw. I do have people to confide in, but I’m not going to burden then with too many things or really I do understand that they are just going to really have their own problems. That is really the thing, you never know if all of these people, who are telling their problems are struggling on their own. There are some selfless people out there but even they have their limits.

I really do not have anyone that I can confide in. I have children, but I don't want to confide in them or burden them with my problems. I am also very careful these days who I actually do confide in, because often times gossip gets started and facts get twisted. I like to keep most things to myself, and I even hate asking for opinions, because often times even advice can be skewed. I am at the point in my life that I have learned who is trustworthy and who is not.

Hi LovingMyBabies, I understand your feeling when a close friend ask us to stop talking. I do have a best friend to confide in always but there were times that she asked me to shut up too. It hurts but we get it over by good communication and we are still very close friends for almost 10 years already. Everyone has different situation and face different kind of things or stress, so we need to respect and tolerate with each other. Its normal having conflict or bad feeling to a friend sometime but depends on how much you treasure the friendship, and after all it will be alright :)

I would be really hurt as well. But on the other hand maybe your friend just dont now what to tell you to help you out so they would rather stay out of it then for them to be standing there in front of you with nothing to say. That is one reason i like this sight. I dont have to give my real name or anything and if i have a big problem and cant find someone that i can talk to or if i dont feel like my friends will tell me what they really think then i can come onto here and ask all my friends on here. I have posted a few things on here and had alot of positive feed back and alot of people have helped me out on what i should do and even if you dont say that its your problem you can say its your friends problem or even kind of rearange your problem a little not telling the hole story or just putting the same kind of situation out there but has nothing to do with your situation so you can still get the help you need. I hope my post has help you out a little.

Maybe if this other person is involved in the situation in some way this may be why she doesn't want to get involved on your side of things.

I have different friends who I confide with about different aspects of my life. But recently my husband's best friend told him that he wanted to be left out of a certain situation. The reason being that he had tried everything he could and my husband wasn't making any sense with his arguments. I think my husband was very upset about it but bounced right back and called him up the next day and continued as good friends.

I do know how you feel, but I can sort of understand, I have had the problem of liking two people and they were fighting, so I got to the point where I just didn't want to hear about it any more!. I don't know if this friend knows the other part of the situation and just doesn't want to feel like she's being put in the middle. I would suggest that could be part of her problem, and I suggest you not take it personally.

you know lovingmybabies, I don't have anyone nowadays to confide in. I really don't have anything to confide about anyways. You have to really have something going on in your life in order to need to confide in someone. I had a best friend who I used to see about daily, but now she has gone on to a different life since I got so boring. I got to where I am at my daughters 2 days a week and my mom'ss 4 days a week. I would have to know more about the situation, but if it has something to do with someone she would rather not talk about, that may be the issue. It is uncomfortable sometimes if you are both friends with the same person and you have issues with one of them. I hope things work out for you and you get the problem resolved. I am very sorry that your friend is hurting your feelings by not wanting you to discuss this issue with you. Please let us know if it gets better. I'm sure it will.

That's too bad. At times, I also need someone to talk to with my dilemma. most of the time, its my husband but there are times especially the past few weeks that I wasn't able to share to him my thoughts and feelings because he was so busy with his work. At one point, I become upset but after getting the cons & pros of the situation, I learned to justify his actions. Our world doesn't evolve around me, he has his own problems as well. The best thing I can do is to understand him from time to time.

I have my best friend whom I always confide almost anything in my life and she to me. It would hurt me if she said the same thing to me. Or course I understand that she's human and sometimes she would have her days. But still that doesn't change the fact I would feel hurt, even a bit, regardless of how I said I understand.

Well that's how it is. Friends come and go that's why I always put family first. I guess I would also be hurt if it happens to me but I'm not really the person to confide too often with people other than my family. If I did confide with someone, it can be that the information is false, or I'm trying to let the person realize something, rather than make him realize that I'm confiding to the person as a whole idea.