Reluctance to go to the Doctor Must Run in the Family
By Amber
@AmbiePam (91973)
United States
March 4, 2012 4:05pm CST
My dad has been really sick lately and he has no health insurance. Thankfully, my mother's doctor (she is on disability because of her dementia, so she has insurance) told him he can make an appointment for my mom, and he would see my dad at the same time and not charge him for it. FINALLY, my dad made the appointment. One of the things they discovered (not the main problem that made him sick) was that his eardrum had burst again.
When my dad was a senior in high school his ear started hurting. All he could do was moan and groan. But his dad refused to take him to the doctor, and my dad couldn't even sit up to drive himself. Four days after the earache started one of his older sisters came home to visit (my dad is 15 of 16 kids and by the time he was a senior it was only him and his little brother living at home). She saw blood was coming out of his ear and told their dad she was taking him to the hospital. So thankfully my aunt and her husband took my dad to the nearest hospital. They discovered his eardrum had burst.
My dad can barely hear out of that ear since that happened, and every once in a while that eardrum bursts again when he gets a bad cold. He's had tubes put in his ears but they just come out. There really isn't anything they can do for him (not even a hearing aid apparently would help), but since he doesn't have health insurance anyway...
I guess you can't call that child abuse although it angers me when I think about it. My grandmother couldn't drive, so she couldn't have taken my dad. In fact, my grandma learned to drive when she was 74!
Have you guys ever had something bad happen that could have been prevented if you had just gone to the doctor? Apparently my dad inherited that reluctance to go to the doctor because it's like pulling teeth to persuade him to go.
5 people like this
13 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Oh that isn't good, because when we see a doctor at the first sign of a problem, the solution is not only easier on your body, but your wallet as well..I know my husband is reluctant to go to the hospital, but not a doctor. It was a doctor who told him he had an abdominal hernia and needed surgery. Well, because many years ago he had appendicitis and they did emergency surgery, they messed up on the anesthesia, and he was out of it for like 40 hours. Well, I have a friend who waited too long to have her hernia worked on and she said it was very difficult because she waited so long..Finally after occasionally getting on his case for setting up an appointment to have the surgery for over a year, he did last Tuesday and is doing well enough now, he drove into town because he has cabin fever..Now I have to put up with him for 2 more weeks and it is going to be a nightmare unless I can find something for him to do so I can do my schoolwork...
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
16 Mar 12
Thanks for the BR, now do you have a suggestion for one who is feeling much better and isn't going back to work until the middle of next week??? He needs something to do!!! :P Actually, he healed up pretty quick, though he complains about his other side, (Probably from using those muscles as he is protecting the incisions) and yet he wants to complain about it, due to being bored more than anything..
@AmbiePam (91973)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Well, first it isn't just about the health insurance. He doesn't want to go to any doctor. But by the time they could have seen him ('cause they couldn't get him right in), he would have been better. I tried to get an appointment to see a dentist from there last year and they said they couldn't take any new patients until January. Then when I called in January they told me to call back in March. So I guess I'll call back this month.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Mar 12
ambiepam I think some of us are reluctant to go see our doctors
as we put off simple things then go when its too painful to not
see him. so in our minds we have this thing " I go to the Doctor
he will find something awful wrong and I will be sick again and
out of commission." the fact that our thinking is really wrong does not seem to alter our reluctance to just make that doctors appt.I have health insurance as a senior citizen that pays for my doctor visits so money is not a good excuse to avoid going.I now have an apt for Wed March 7 that I should hav e done a week ago but I am
not really ill,its just I am late for my ]diabetic checkup.loll
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
5 Mar 12
A lot of people are like that. I hate to go to the doctors and usually won't until it's serious. When it comes to my kids though, I generally make appointments as quickly as I can.
When my sister was a baby she got a bad cold, and my mom let it go for awhile. The babysitter kept telling her she should take my sister to the doctor because she was like gasping for air, but my mom said it's just a cold and she'll be fine. Eventually she did end up taking her in, and it turned out she'd had RSV, which is very common in babies. But if you let it go RSV turns into pneumonia and that's what happened to my sister. She was on a ventilator for a month and we almost thought she wasn't going to make it.
1 person likes this
@cartofipai (11)
• Romania
4 Mar 12
I just have to say that the fear of doctors is a bad thing. The first thing to do when you feel sick or had even a minor accident is to go to the hospital or a doctor to get it fixed. Going to doctors isn't that bad. People get hurt and doctors make us good. I did had a reluctance to go to the doctor when I was sick, but my parents wouldn't want to hear about it so I did end up there :D
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (91973)
• United States
5 Mar 12
He's not afraid of doctors. He just grew up poor and they didn't have money to go see a doctor. And because they rarely got sick, they just were under the notion that if they just got up and around and kept doing their regular routine they would eventually get better. But it isn't fear.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
5 Mar 12
am the same as your dad DOnt go till I hurt so bad that I cant stand it any more like now I have had to go back onpain pills till they figure out why I am haveing shooting pains along my right ribs xrays show no fractores or breaks so I have to find out what else to do to find out it gets tiresome and tireing
1 person likes this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
If I could do it all over again, I would have forced my mom to have my dental check ups every month when I was very young. Now, all I have are not so good set of teeth which I am not very proud of. In other cases, I would always be reluctant to go to hospitals because I'm scared of flesh, blood, and needles. Just the thought of it makes me weak and nauseated. I also hate to be a burden to my family, as I know it costs a lot and demands help and attention from them.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
5 Mar 12
Dearest Ambie...I feel it has something to do with the generations which they were raised in. A doctors visit was a BIG, BIG deal, and some-how devoided them of their masculinity! I truly do know how you feel...as I more than likely would have had...at least another 30 years with my dearly beloved Father...if he wasn't so obstinate about his own health care! He would spend every cent he had...on the welfare of his animals..BUT NO, nothing on himself!
My biggest concern here, Ambie, is what you mentioned in another response..the SIGNS and SYMPTOMS of HEART unhealthiness! Please know...one of the first things we learned about the heart illnesses...is DENIAL! YOU MUST be upfront and honest with this DR., please! Your FAther is under extreme duress, stress with your Mother's illness...and I feel he is denying that he can be ill, because whom could look after your Mother! You must re-inforce that these signs and symptoms cannot be ignored...and can be treated with meds. He is NO good to anyone, if he does NOT look after himself! Please, please address his heart issues!
I am sorry, I have not overlooked the serious ear problems...but I do feel his heart is the biggest issue here!
Long after my Father passed of a massive heart attack...friends informed me he had "mentioned" several times (not complained) of his discomfort! If only I had known...I wouldn't be telling this story! He made everyone promise not to tell me! I am sounding alarm bells here...my dear friend! It must be looked into!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I used to be that way myself but in my later years now I do go. I have high blood pressure so I make sure to get that checked as well as all the other things...when the kids were growing up I had insurance on them but not myself as I couldn't afford it..so I totally understand where he is coming from..it's not easy to try to take care of everyone but ourselves...you are on the back burner all the time....I hope they can do something as I have earache all the time too and its very painful.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
6 Mar 12
I am the same way about doctor visits and I do think it was the way I was brought up. I actually had the same thing happen to one of my ears when I was 7. I was not one to complain or tell my grandparents when I wasn't feeling well though so it was really my fault. I have luckily not had an ongoing issues since but I think I can't hear quite as well out of that ear.
When I was growing up..I went to the doctor when I had to and not for preventive stuff like we should. It was when you were very sick. Otherwise my grandmother had home remedies..lol.
I am much different with my kids and the doctors but I still don't go myself unless I am very ill.
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
Yes, my father doesnt like going for his follow up check up because he believe it to be costly. But fearing to see a doctor when you feel there is something wrong with you can be very dangerous. Our body is signaling for help and we ignore it. That is why people often suffer from condition that can be treated if early detection was done. Now it was too late. Please dont take health lightly because it can affect our lives and the lives of our loved ones.
1 person likes this
