Hey Brother, You Raised Your Kids Wrong!

i have been in your situation with my niece and nephew before. i also feel the same feelings that you have but to tell you when you are parents yourself that's the time you can only understand it. i used to say to my sister your son is like this and that and why don't you discipline him blah blah... until i have my own son. parenting is indeed difficult and very parent do all their best to raise their child. maybe your brother is not tolerating their son, maybe because he has more patience than you are because they are his kids. you need also to understand your brothers situation and when you give some advise do it nicely so as not to offend him.

Parenting is a really tough job especially having seven sons! Different attitudes and different behaviors, different friends and different habits. I don't mind when my brother or sisters would help if they do find some untoward behavior as long as I'm around.

Some parents don't like to have their children being disciplined by an outsider. But then you're not an outsider to your nieces and nephews. I think it all depends on how close you're to your siblings. If you're close to your siblings, I don't think they would mind if you discipline their children. In fact, for my case, sometimes my sister would ask me to talk to her daughter about some behavioral problems. I think the best way is to ask permission from the parents to discipline their children, if they are the easily offended type. But usually within family, it's just normal for the uncles or aunts to scold their nieces and nephews albeit in a jokingly manner and not too seriously. I think the parents won't mind if done that way.

This is such a sensitive topic. I'm a mom but I still lack some parenting skills. If someone would tell me that I raised my son wrong that way. Our School didn't taught us to be a good parents. The best way to let teach your niblings is to gave them a book or a magazine about raising kids.

Parenting is a touchy subject especially if you are not a parent yourself. Many parents do the best they can with what they are given. Just because one parent would punish a child for not doing their homework lets say it doesn't necessarily mean that another parent would. Everyone has their own ways of parenting. Personally if my kids do wrong and there are people around I don't do anything until the people are not around, when my children get into trouble they don't need an audience around as well. This may be the case with your siblings, they may let things go while your there and talk to the kids and assign any consequence after you have left the house. There is no handbook to being a parent, parents learn by the experiences they are presented as the children grow up. Some parents try to correct what they experienced as children so their children don't feel what they felt growning up. Why not let your siblings parent their children and when you have your own children maybe you'll understand why they do some of the things your seeing and don't approve of.

I am a new mother, and I think that it is easy to judge when you are on the outside looking in. For many parent, they just lose the will to battle. I think that many parents would welcome any help in discipline, especially from family members, because then it is coming from a place of love and concern. It is much easier to give advice to a family member than a random person you see in the grocery store. Also, I think that you have to be careful when approaching the parent regarding bad behaviour, even if they are part of your family because if they are in a bad mood you could feel the wrath of an exhausted parent. Of course, that could also give you some insight to where the bad behaviour stems from!

I would agree with you. I also have had no children of my own. but then i always see my brother and my nieces growing up. sometimes i would notice that they have been raised wrongly, they have been allowed to become bullies with each other. We would often try to correct them but my brother (elder) would feel as if we are yes, intruding and as if we are telling him how he should raise the kids... but clearly the kids are hard headed and often would just want to get things their way!

yeah some guy told my parents "your right raising your kid right", but he was the type of person who thinks hes above everyone. of course my parents got mad. he left crying because he acted like his feelings were hurt.

I've been in a situation where my cousins are total brats. My aunt and uncle seemed not to care and just let them did what they wanted. That was really annoying. Worst, they don't like it when others pointed out their children mistakes. Then that one day they came to my house. The eldest of my cousins wanted something badly that he started crying. Then he started kicking the walls and the front door while still bawling. I went to the kid and told him to kick it harder so his leg would hurt more in loud voice. I guess my face must looked scary too at that time. The kid stopped and went to his mother. Of course the parents were angry at me at that time but I didn't care. They left after that. But it seemed the kids behaved a bit after that whenever they came again.

Although each parent has his or her methods of educating his/her children. He/she should know how to cultivate them, making them healthy physically and mentally. Parenting is a kind of science. If parents dont use educated their chilren properly they will harm their children although they love them very much.

My brother and sister in law are like this. They do not want anyone telling their children what to do. The worst part is they do not behave the greatest and they let them get away with too much in my opinion. Its hard because we used to see them a lot and their boys would do bad things. One time they hit my daughter and I did not care if they liked it or not I was not letting my child get hurt because they do not discipline enough. I told their son not to hit her and if he did it again he was going to time out. His parents just looked at me and said nothing, guess they knew I was pretty angry. It is really hard to not step on anyones toes with this. My brother and sis in law laugh at what they do too when no one else finds their behavior funny at all! I really don't know on this one because I go through the same thing with them and have not figured it out yet...

You don't do anything because its none of your busyness. If my brother told me or treat to tell me how to raise my child because they might not agree with how I'm doing it I would tell them to f off. Because I don't like how one my brothers and his wife raise there son and I don't tell them what to do because its not my place to as there sister or even as an aunt. When I'm in charge of there child then yes what ever rules I have then will fallow if not they will be in trouble and I'll bring it up with there parents what there parents do after that is up to them. I don't correct them I stay out of it. I love my nephew I want to see him when I can so I don't tell them what to do or how to do it even if I feel I should. There is no good way to tell your family hey how your raising your kids I don't agree with. I'm sure when you have your kids one day you will feel and see it there way. Parents might not always know best but that doesn't mean others know best either. Part of being a parent is making mistakes and learning from them as well as you own kids learning from there mistakes. Parenting doesn't come with a cute little handbook telling you what to do and when to do it or how to deal with things you have to find it out on your own and your way might not be best someone else way it might be the right way but that doesn't mean its the right way for that child.

That is a good question and really if you have a good relationship with your brothers and you grew up with the same morals and values than he would know that your correction or lack of correction is of good judgement. The question is not if he has good parenting skills but, we all know what's good and bad. Kids are going to grow up according to what you teach them. As a child you are sponge and if you want that child to be a decent citizen then you will teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Parenting skills are learned everyday, there is no book because each child is different. Remember you are just the uncle looking in and must respect how your brother wants to raise his children. I would offer advice to your brother about the wrong behaviors, but know that you are correct when the kids are with you they must respect your rules and correction. If your brother has a problem with that then maybe confront him on how you feel and discuss it.