I can't stand spoilt kids and the parents who spoil them
By success1625
@success1625 (533)
Trinidad And Tobago
March 9, 2012 11:49am CST
Was talking to my co worker the other day when he tells me that he's separated from his wife but still visits home and can get breakfast/lunch and dinner.
Knowing he has an 8 year old daughter I asked if she was aware of the issues at home,because I felt she would be confused with seeing him visiting home for meals but not sleeping there, he's replied that she's probably aware because she's a smart kid.
As the conversation progresses, he tells me how much he loves his daughter and that in addition to his regular job, he has jobs on the side and that when he gets paid he normally just gives his daughter $300.00 just like that and that her piggy bank is full of hundreds and twenty dollar bills. According to him she gets money because she's his only daughter and it's his job to spoil her.
Now here's the clincher for me, this guy is always proclaiming to be broke, ain't got no money, and that his pockets are empty, the other thing that got to me is he tells me that at 8 years old this little girl is already determined that when she gets a boyfriend or husband, they have to have lots of money cause she isn't going to be involved with any poor guy...at 8 years old she already has that mindset, a GOLDDIGGER mindset.
Now I'm not a parent, never had any kids but I know a spoilt child when I see or hear one, espcially when they rolling on the ground in the supermarket throwing tantrums,oohhhhh how I hate that, and I told him plain talk bad manners he's spoiling her and teaching her the wrong value system about money.
She doesn't do a damn chore around the house to be given so much money and even if she needed to be rewarded for something $300.00 is way to much to compensate any child. And let me just clarify, this $300.00 isn't a one time payment, it's everytime he gets paid or sells something (he also rears animals like sheep and goats on the side for sale).
He was miffed at my statement but I didn't care, because it's practises like that, that can cause children to grow up with screwed up ideologies about life,money,and relationships.
2 people like this
6 responses
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
9 Mar 12
Yes, you're right that child is spoiled. My children had to earn their money by doing chores around the house and so did I when I was growing up. Kids need to learn that they will not get hand outs in the real world when they become adults. They need to learn the value of money and that hard work and a honest day's work is the best way to get money. I used to get three dollars every two weeks as a kid and I did a lot for that, laundry, cleaning the house and some cooking and taking care of my younger brother, nowadays, kids don't have to do much especially if they live in the city. I find that a lot of kids have too much free time and tend to get into trouble because of it. Kids should be given little chores to do daily, it helps the working parents and it teaching the kids valuable life skills to make it in this world when they grow up.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
9 Mar 12
Hmmm and she doesn't do 1/2 of all you said there, but she's getting $300.00 all willy nilly. You're so correct, children today have to much liberty and too little responsibilities, which makes them inept to deal with the outside world. I like your assessment on the matter.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Mar 12
I can understand if maybe a person was to do this but set it aside instead of giving it to the child. The fact that he gives it to the child is crazy. HE IS giving her the wrong idea about money and she will grow up thinking money grows on trees and spend it anyway she pleases then when she's broke she'll be running back to daddy. I'm not sure why the mother of this child doesn't do or say anything about it, or maybe she had and that is why they are split.
I am not a mother yet, but I know you've got to teach children early the value of money. My niece and nephew get a quarter a day if they were good and did their chores etc.
After so long they are allowed to go and spend it as they choose. I am not sure how long and I wonder if it doesn't just vary. My nephew has saved it up until he's had $100.00 before. That is about 400 days of saving! A wonderful accomplishment for an eleven year old!
I think that the father should reconsider what he's doing. He's spoiling her and maybe it's already too late to fix it as she'll be disappointed when he stops giving her so much, IF he does. I say for her age a quarter a day is well enough for her!
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
9 Mar 12
Well from what I gather the mother of the child doesn't seem to have a say in the issue, so yes you are possibly correct.
And that's how I grew up as well, doing chores to earn money, which by the way never materialsed because my dad wasn't working regular jobs, so we never got allowances. But I'm in total agreement with you. But could you imagine the bacchanal that would take place if she were given a quarter???? Oh goodness that will be pressure for my co worker,lol, but he's too set in his ways to change how he deals with her.
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
9 Mar 12
The little girl may be spoiled now, but she probably is going to be disappointed if looking for a wealthy husband that will spoil her like her daddy does. Her mom is not being responsible either by letting her have that money. It should be in a bank or somewhere. At this point it is the parent who is making it hard on the child. The dad is probably proud of the fact that he is giving her so much money.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
10 Mar 12
I think its sad that he thinks he is helping or being super nice but when she gets older and realizes how money really works she is going to be very disappointed indeed. He is giving her a warped hope for the future. When its her hard earned money she will learn what life is really like. Its going to be a very rude awakening for that girl. And to think its all her father's fault...
I think it is terribly sad. My children are younger than her and they already know money is worked for, not handed out. I want them to learn it now so it will be easier for them in the future. I am sooo glad I have never spoiled my children, I do not want brats like her running around! My kids are happy as pigs in poop when they get to pick one toy out from the dollar store! Lol. I want them that way, they are grateful for everything they get.
@Polgara (31)
• Germany
10 Mar 12
As one member already said here, this is very, very sad. It is not important how we personally feel when we see spoiled children (oh, yes, that irritates me, too, but that is not important). The problem with spoiled children and their spoiling parents is much more deeper and bigger that our personal feelings about them.
I am a mother of two children and the elder is six years old. I love my children above all, more than I love myself, I could gladly die for them, and I would do anything I can to make them happy. But also, I must do what is RIGHT, what is GOOD for THEM and not for my maternal needs. My maternal need says to me: Buy this silly expensive doll for my daughter, that will make her so happy. Then my rational mind must respond: No, make your daughter FIRST feel that she has that doll somehow EARNED, because that will be good for her in long terms. She will play with the doll one week and be happy, but then what? That is something every parent must ask themselves. Then what?
Every normal parent has this problem, and it is never easy to deal with it properly. Every parent is tempted all the time to fullfill every single wish of their kids, but also, every parent must know that in long terms, that will not help their kids, on the contrary. Should we give our children everything they want? No, by all means no. We must give to our children everything they NEED, that is: good home, education, socialization, help when they need help, we must provide food and other vital needs for their life, but not everything they WANT.
We must teach our children the proper values and the proper ways of earning money, for example. Maybe it is not easy for me as a mother to see my daughter bringing firewood every day, a stick of wood at a time, but when I reward her with a little bit of money at the end of the day for her "hard" work, I am so happy to see her so proud of what she has achieved! I could buy her a Barbie doll that she wanted, but when I see her saving her money, and then coming to me and asking me: "Do I have enough money to buy myself the Barbie?", and when she eventually buys it for herself, the happiness in her eyes is beyond words. And then I am so happy that I cry. I didn't buy her the doll, I didn't fulfill the wish of hers, she did it herself! Is there a bigger happines and a greater pride for a parent than that?
With making everything for our children, with solving every problems of theirs, with giving them everything they want, we make no favor to them, on the contrary. In this way they never become independent. They never make their achievements, they never succeed in their life, they never learn the hard side of life, and when the hard side of life strikes them, they are completely lost in time and space. I am not going to be forever there for my children, and they inevitably must learn to stand on their own, to earn their own money, to make their own choices, good or bad, but their own choices and not my good or bad choices. They have to be responsible people one day, and children learn responsibility from the first day of their life.
My six years old daughter is so happy when she can help me with her baby brother, or when she can help my husband in the garden, or even when she can help our neighbours. In this way, she learned not only to earn money, to work honestly, to help people, but also, to save money and not to spend it just like that. In long terms, that can only help her in her life. That is our duty as parents. Not to fulfill every wish that they have, but to show them how they can fulfill their wishes themselves. Life is hard, and sometimes has no mercy, and children will grow up one day. If we, as their parents, teach them to face the life properly, then everything will be okay. There will be no problem that they could not solve, there will be no poverty for those who work, they will be standing on their own. What is more important then? To give our children everything they want now, and to make them happy for a day or two, or to show them the way of achieving them themselves, no matter how hard that can be for us, their parents?
I must wonder how can a father give 300 USD to his eight years old daughter? What she could possibly do with the money? Could she save the money, or even buy herself something useful and good? Could she save the money so that one day she could pay herself a good school? I don't think so, and that's why this is sad.
I also must state my personal impression about the story said: I personally think that the father has some hidden goals there. He gives the girl the money, a big money, and maybe he wants to buy her with the money. Something like: my father is so great, he gives me so much money etc. And maybe one day her mother can punish her for something, or say "no" to something that she wants, and the girl can definitely think, or even say: "You are so bad, mom, no wonder father had left you." The story sounds pretty much as very well hidden and devised manipulation of the child, and that is even more terrible than spoiling the child as stated in the topic title. I wish I was wrong, but my guts tell me I'm not.
