life is like " I Never Promised You a R ose Garden"
@Hatley (163776)
Garden Grove, California
March 9, 2012 2:38pm CST
So many times I have said and others too," Life is just not fair." Well gee whiz think of this " I Never Promise You a Rose Garden" a book written by a lady who had recovered from a nervous breakdown.
Seems one of the mental health people who cared for her had used
that to mean that she must realize life has its good parts, and its bad parts as it never promised us happy,happy, joy joy for all of our lives.In order to appreciate the ups we need the downs. Nothing would grow or flourish without the rains in our lives. So if we want Roses most of our lives we must plant and nurture and care for the Roses in our own Rose Garden.What we are promised is life does not stand still, so you have some downs, but you will have wonderful ups and you will better appreciate them for the downs you worked and lived through.So a rose garden for each of us was never promised but if we bought the plants,planted them, tilled the ground fed them and nourished them we will ultimately haveour Own Rose Gardens. As we did this for ourselves,we can also meet ,fall in love, and make our own familes to have the love we wanted and to give it back. All love given to our loved ones will grow and come back a thousand fold.your take mylotters.
6 people like this
22 responses
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
9 Mar 12
Roses have thorns so that the bloom might thrive and be protected. Likewise, the bad stuff in our life can be compared to the thorns. They hurt when we encounter them but they protect the "bloom"--our spirit, which is made stronger by adversity. Without thorns the rose would not last long and without bad times our lives would be one dimensional and pointless.
Hooray for thorns!
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Mar 12
hi dragon54u great analogy we meed thorns to really appreciate
the wonderful times in our lives. We are made stronger by
coping with the bad times and coming out on top. We survived
and were better able to appreciate all that is good in our
lived.We would not g row either as humans without adversities
to challenge us and strengthen our courage to cope and come'out on top again.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Mar 12
i love that saying dragon. can i copy it on FB?!! did you make that yourself? i will put you down as the sayer if you want. please?3 people like this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
9 Mar 12
I would say you hit the nail on the head with this one. So very true. Have a wonderful evening and weekend Hatley.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
i MaryLynn yes I think I did this time as life cannot always be all sunshine as sometimes we get dark clouds and rain but we will appreciate the s unny days more for having had the rain and dark
days. I am having a lovely weekend.
2 people like this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
10 Mar 12
so true Hatley. Sunny days sure can brighten up ones dull, boring or depressed day. The doom and gloom could stay away. But we will take what we can get. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Hugs
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
9 Mar 12
Life is what we make of it, that is for sure. I have never known any one who had the perfect life. I have read the book, many years ago. We are responsible for the way we choose to furnish our life.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
yes in retrospect we made some errors that probably added to the mess when my son was laid off and we ran out of money and were evicted.for one thing back when there were jobs galore in his field he had decided not to look for one although he was unhappy where he was, had I insisted he do this it might have all turned out different but too late smart.so we sometimes do not do what we should have and things fall apart but somehow it might still turn out for the better anyway.sometimes one is ones own worst enemy as
we do not want to leave our comfy comfort zone to venture out to look for that better job. so live and learn.
we sometimes do not do what we should have and things fall apart but somehow it might still turn out for the better anyway.sometimes one is ones own worst enemy as
we do not want to leave our comfy comfort zone to venture out to look for that better job. so live and learn.1 person likes this
@Archaiwy (599)
• China
10 Mar 12
As far as i am concerned, life is fair . If we have some downs in our life , that means that we may not think of some ways to improve it.And our abilities are limited ,we can't do everything good , in which case ,what we do is only pray to God.HE will help us. And one should remember one will never lose heart at any time.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
hi Archaiwy that is one way to look at but any way we look good and bad interchange and we do learn to appreciate the sun more when it has been raining.God I find helps us when we first try to help
ourselves as otherwise we are like spoiled kids always expecting our dad or mom to get us out of any trouble without us doing a thing. I do not think real life works like that.We must try to help ourselves as much as we can first.
1 person likes this
@ajk111 (2495)
•
9 Mar 12
Great points Hatley and so true. i have had some real downers but do you know what? you always bounce back a stronger person.
Another point is that people in under developed countrys have a far worse time of it and seem to get on with it doing the best they can for their family. And there lies the crux of our strengh, our friends and family (including those on mylot) and our inner strength.
Great discussion Hatley, and one that will be appreciated a bit more by those that are a little older and have experienced unpleasent times.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Mar 12
hi I remember the downs and the ups in my own marriage and I think you are right, the downs when you do not shrivel up and condemn life for not being fair, but instead overcome the bad downers you become
stronger and more able to cope.We learn to lean on our families and our best friends and receive the feeling we will survive and have happy times again. I also include our friends here on mylot too. In Dec and Jan I was down with the flu and pneumonia but got medical hep and come February I just felt so good and realized that the illness had made me really appreciate feeling healthy again.the fact that I have lost fifteen pounds is one of my reasons for really being happy plus the doctor was really pleased with my blood sugars too.
really being happy plus the doctor was really pleased with my blood sugars too.1 person likes this
@god_is_good (683)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
Good day. Truly, our life is not only all "bed of roses" without thorns. Life is not fair and not supposed to be, as we already knew from the beginning. Life will push us around, and depending on our reaction, we can take the "pushing" as a means of learning. I'm not sure if most of you have a rose garden. In my case I have a barren rose garden. The rose seems not good to grow in this garden. However, someone told me that in order for the rose to grow in my garden, I need to put some soil of love. When I did that, God gave me a rose. Now, I can sing, "Thank you for the roses that you've given to me."
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
hi god is good,yes we have to accept that we will have ups and we will su rely have downs as how else to appreciate the ups. we must learn from that and grow and cope. for a g reat rose garden you need some compost, lots of sun and good plant food, and nurture your rose garden love of course is needed.California is one plave where its soeasy to grow roses.in January they must be pruned back hard. we also get pruned back in a way as in the way we handle the challenges of our lives.,That song sounds so pretty lol lol
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
11 Mar 12
I also think that if we want a garden of roses we have to put water and other things in the pot as the rose grows. Same way when we want our life to be beautiful as rose we have to plant lots of love to others. I also agree what we give will be what will return to us in our life. We are a land we can plant what in our life. What we will plant will grow. If we plant fruits and vegetables this will be able to pluck them when it grows.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Mar 12
ajithlal yes if we plant roses we must feed them nuture them and
water them as needed. If we want good things to happen we need to
be positive and act positive. what we give freely to others with good will , will come back and double our blessings. If we are unkind and mean, we will know that what goes around comes around and
it will bite us in the butt hard.
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
10 Mar 12
This is so true.
You can't just float along and expect things to be handed to you.
I know people who have done that, and they generally end up with only a couple of options, sleeping with someone to get something or scraping the bottom of the financial barrel and complaining that "its not fair!"
Life ain't fair honey, life is WORK!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
hi ElicBxn and so manysay oh just turn it over to God; I say God willhelp those who first try to help themselves not like spoiled
kids who run to mom and dad to fix all their problems.we do try our best first then if we ask for help we will usually get it although
not usually in the way we might have wanted it bu t it will suffice
anyway.Life is not fair b ut we can roll with the punches,help ourselves and learn from it all.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
9 Mar 12
Hi Hatley,
Boy, I sure do like everyone's responses here, especially dragon's. Wow! 
I don't want to end up repeating what everyone else has said, but I'll add a few lines here.
I think us older one's know all about the Rose Garden and the thorns that are involved with life. We all could write books if we wanted to, and I bet they'd be fascinating, don't you think?
I also loved what you said "Nothing would grow or flourish without the rains in our lives"....love it! I think sometimes we forget this though, and just think of everything as bad, and not realize the good that has become from it. Nice discussion Hatley, and oh so true!
Boy, I sure do like everyone's responses here, especially dragon's. Wow! I don't want to end up repeating what everyone else has said, but I'll add a few lines here.
I think us older one's know all about the Rose Garden and the thorns that are involved with life. We all could write books if we wanted to, and I bet they'd be fascinating, don't you think?
I also loved what you said "Nothing would grow or flourish without the rains in our lives"....love it! I think sometimes we forget this though, and just think of everything as bad, and not realize the good that has become from it. Nice discussion Hatley, and oh so true! 1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
thanks Kashmeresmycat it is so true and I have found out through a lot of really upsetting things just before we came here I am a survivor. I wanted to just sit down and sob and cry but that changed nothing. we soon found out who our real friends were as they really
did try to help us and now we are situated where we are safe maybe not just what we want but its what we have to do for now. my son is working almost full time but not making huge wages so he cannot afford the 1200 dollars a month for a two bedroom apt. six years ago they were only 690 dollars a month.so he shares a large dorm room with four other guys whom he knows and its closer to his work. he still comes to see me every week.So I am at least safe here with help; available should I need it
.I had a minor fall last night
and I had help at once but I managed to get myself to my feet. all because I had cramps in both legs that were so painful I lost my balance.so help was here for me.had I been back in our apt I might have got help if my son was there, but sometimes he had to work late. but still I would love to be once more in an apt of our own but not sure when or if this can hapen.
1 person likes this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
12 Mar 12
Hello Hatley.
How would we ever appreciate anything good if we never had anything bad ? I think that about sums it up for any field. How can you really care for your love mate if you didn't have any bad relationship before ? How are you going to appreciate a decent work job if you never had a crappy one before ? The list would go on, but the Chinese knew this for a very long time, just think of the Ying and Yang symbol :).
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Mar 12
hi elitess yes its so true as we have to have that comparison.we can never assume life will always be smooth and not bumpy, cause around bend of our road might be a washed out spot or a bridge
in need of repair.or most likely we might come in one day to
a job we have taken for granted and even complained of, to
be handed the dreaded pink slip. You are fired.so we must get up,dust ourselves off , and start all over again.this time we will appreciate getting hired and getting a paycheck again.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Mar 12
you are right in a lot of ways. I do have children grown, 3 that understand that. and appreciate the love ive given them through bad times and done all i could. but sadly i have 2 that seem to think a lot of their problems go back to my not giving them a rose garden
but of course thats my rain and i have to make the best of it. with our age we have become very wise, huh, Hatley?!@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Mar 12
hi bunnybon life has handed you some real adversities but you
have handled it well.I am glad that three of your children are
grown and do appreciate the love you gave them through all the
bad timse. Yes I guess that is indeed your rain but I hoppe thatthe two who blame bad times on you wake up and realize life is really
good in spite of the bad times.Yes I guess one does gain some
wisdom in surviving to see the good times again.
to see the good times again.1 person likes this
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Bed of roses or bed of nails, the choice is yours. Work hard, be fair and righteous, and do good, and you'll enjoy your bed of roses. Be lazy, mean, greedy and devious, and suffer with pain on your bed of nails. Life has a lot to offer, but we need to pay for it.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
hi obe you are so right as good does not just drop into our laps, we have to work for it and if we are kind, loving and good to others
things good will come our way as positive draws positive things
to it.Life does have a wondrous lot to offer all of us, but
we have to earn it and it is not just dumped into our laps we must work and pay for the good.
ork and pay for the good.1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
10 Mar 12
As much as it is hard to hear when we are down at times it is the truth. If we always had good times we would not appreciate them the same way as we do when we have bad times to go with it. My husband and I as you know have had so many tough times but we do so appreciate the good times when they come our way. We are always more grateful for the Blessings we have.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 12
hi lovingourbabies I know you and your hubbie have been thro ugh
a lot so its good you can appreciate the good things too.I
have learned that mylot and mycomputer have taken a lot of the
sting out of having to be here plus my son is really more loving
now than when we shared a two bedroom apt. we have had our share of
tough times so I s ure appreciate an ything really good now.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
12 Mar 12
Hi Aunt Hatley,
We have so much power within ourselves to overcome so much. We can just stand still which causes everyone to pass us so that we are going backward, or we can move forward with our lives. We have to get up and dust ourselves off and keep on keeping on.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Mar 12
pointlessquestions you should know too as this is what you have done with your own life despite some problems that others would just sink
under. I have at times felt I was not going anyware,but in the last few years I have done things I had to do to survive, things I really would never have done in a different situation, but they kept us going and being here is still a heck of a lot better than
stumbling around on the street, living from one homeless shelter to another one.at least I can get medical care if I need it and my son does come to see me weekly. I have made some friends here and
I have my computer and monitor so I can keep up with you and all the other friends of mine on mylot.we can overcome things and maybe in the long run we will find better things for us too
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
11 Mar 12
"I never Promised you a rose Garden" is a song sung by Lynn Anderson! That is what I thought of when I read the discussion title!
As you know I have complained about my life alot! I was never given a rose garden and I never will! For years I thought I given a raw deal! I have gottan jealous of other people's lives becasue of this! I have thought lots of people I knew had all the luck and had things handed them things on a plater! While I struggle and have what I thought was all bad luck! Like with love,relationships,money,jobs and other things!
I never will or want to be in love agian!SO I will not be planting and nourishing a garden. I was meant to be alone for the rest of my life! Looking and waiting for someone has never happen and when it did it was disasters! So painful and frustrating,in some relationships,I have been scarred for life! The only way I could be happy in a relationship if I was in total control! So I am by myself and it is my chose! So many people can't understand this but when it comes to love it has not been a rose garden but a field full of thorns!
@figurativeme (1089)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
Hello Hatley..
I remember reading about a painting a long time ago which was only a white canvas with a black dot at the bottom left side of it. It was an interesting piece of art. Without the black dot, the canvas would be plain and uninteresting.
I suppose the thorns of the rose – like the dot on the canvas - make life interesting and challenging in spite of the pains and the hurt the thorns bring along. It defines us by the way we respond to these challenges...and pains.
Have a nice day, hatley.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16759)
• China
10 Mar 12
I agree with you ,Hatley lady.There are always two sides to everything,the same with life which is full of happiness and frustrations ,so called the good things and bad things in life average out in the end.It is just life.In front of life,people's attitude of life differs from person to person.In optimist's view,the road is tortuous,but the prospects are bright,they always make the best of the bad things;on the contrary,some people are unable to recover after a setback.It is so right,"all love given to our loved ones will grow and come back a thousand fold."It reminds me of an idiom:"Love makes the world go round."
@bostonphil (4459)
• United States
10 Mar 12
That is an old book. It is also a great book. I am going on 67 years old and I read that book when I was a teenager or in my 20's. I was very touched by the book and it has stayed with me. I have had a somewhat difficult and challenging life. And during those times, I have thought back to the book, especially the title. I would remind myself that I was never promised a rose garden.
