i want to make my marraige work, what are some things i can do to that will help

I think that it's important to spend time together. Life and everything that we have to do can be stressful. And sometimes we take that stress out on our spouse. Spending quality time together as a couple is needed. Do things for one another. Often times when we are dating a person we would buy gifts,etc. Things like that are still important.

You will definitely be in my prayers. I'm sorry. It hurt me reading that your husband told you to find someone else. I cannot imagine my husband uttering those words to me. I would be so devestated. I don't really know what would help your marriage because J don't know your husband. My husband is happy with me when the house is clean too so I agree with your friend there. That and making love are the only two things I can think of that would keep my hubby happy... Wish I could help more.

My mother's mother told her to never argue with her husband. Okay, old fashioned advice, but pick your battles. You don't like him leaving dirty socks... that's not one of them... if you see what I mean? If you can't work outside the home, and the roomie is bi-polar but takes meds for it... at least you can make living in your home easier. Do what you can to save money, cooking at home rather than going out... check out a cookbook from the library or there are great online sites for recipes... If you let the housework get behind, that is another thing you can do - I know that being bi-polar does mean on the down times its hard to stir yourself to do things, but if you keep it up when you feel better, it won't get as bad when you don't feel like doing it for a while. And talk to him. Ask him what he thinks, besides working outside of the home, that he thinks you need to do. Don't - DO NOT - ask him what he FEELS, guys don't like to talk about feelings, ask him for specific things. They deal much better with things.

After 15 years of being together I never hear that line from my EX but still I left him. He has an intimate relationship with other girl who happened to get pregnant. Although he loves me but I quit I don't like to be with him anymore because of what he did. I've done my very best to make our relationship work, we both have jobs, I clean the house, I prepared foods for them, I cooked, I do the house task, everything what to look for being a good wife is with me. But still he is weak, he never looked at the things I invested in our relationship. I just thought life is so unfair with me I've done my best but still not good for him. But look at this way in your marriage just be a wife to him, make him realize that he is special to you and you don't want to loose him. Your the only one who knows how to keep him. You can do it.

Have some couple time together, its hard these days when both couples are busy and then get in a routine. Think about those first weeks when you both started dating..grab some special time each week to just hangout and chat and laugh together, believe me it helps alot just to pay attention to each other rather than just getting on with day to day routines. Its obvious you both stil love each other, as you wont part, also when we argue we do say the most hurtful tings to each other, and don't mean it.

I think you should your communication with your husband, more talking, more sharing and laughing often..., Because the first problem for the couple is communication..., I hope the best for you..,

hi laken02, let me tell you this, both of you should work out for your relationship. did you ask him why he want a divorce in the first place? a relationship to last needs a balance of give and take. you need to accept each others flaws and grow better together. always have an open communication, even small chats to keep each other updated. there is no perfect relationship but if both of you would stay and believe you can make it then your relationship may last. if you are the only who will work for your relationship then i don't think it will go anywhere. you need to keep the fire of love with respect and trust with each other. i hope you can work things out, have a serious talk about it. your disability is not a hindrance as long as he loves you dear. may God bless you and your husband.

To me it sounds like your husband should be a little more understanding. I too can not work outside the home, because I suffer from Agoraphobia. I do however earn my keep around the house. My housework always gets done & never once did my husband ever have to go to work in dirty clothes. You need to tell your husband that just because you don't work outside the home doesn't mean that you don't work. You more then earn your keep. In my opinion your husband needs to appreciate you more. Also you both need to sit down & have a good long talk on how you BOTH can improve so that you can have a better marriage, because honestly your marriage is bound to fail if there isn't some kind of open communication between you two.

I'm so sorry that he said you should find someone new. Still, I don't think he treats you particularly well if he doesn't respect you because you don't work outside the home due to a disorder. If you work around the house, you contribute. Since we don't know why exactly he said he wanted a divorce only to backpedal with the excuse of not having the money once you told him you did meet someone, we can only give you so much advice. You guys need to talk, and some counseling might be real good for you too. Before we had our daughter, my husband and I went through a rough patch, and I almost left him. I did everything I could, and he realized that he wasn't communicating and he was making life miserable for both of us, and he was deflecting it onto me. Once he realized I had a place lined up and that if I walked out the door, the chances of me coming back were very slim, he initiated a conversation. We were able to talk and we were able to work everything out, it took a while, but we're better than ever now. You guys really need to sit down and talk, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with outside help, a counselor can really be helpful in these kinds of situations.

I think the best thing you can do for your marriage is to have an open, honest conversation with your husband so HE knows that you care and you want to hold the marriage together. I'm sorry to say that staying together...because you don't currently have the money for a divorce...is a sign that the love is long gone. Maybe he can give you some ideas of whether or not the marriage can be repaired. I wish you the best in working everything out.

Hello, I feel for you. I know that what you are going through is very painful, however, my advice to you would be, don't take the fact that he told you to find someone else lightly.Do you know if he started seeing someone else? That is the number one reason that causes these problems in marriages. It could be that he is seeing someone else and is being pressured to get rid of you, and when you started seeing someone else he became scared and is backing out. This is just a guess I am throwing out there. But, in my experience this is a highly likely scenario. Either way, your emotions are being bounced around and this can make you go batty! If you really want your marriage to work, I think that your husband needs to respect you. A cleaner home will not necessarily do that. The fact that you found someone online is a step in the right direction. He told you to find someone else and you did. I'll bet that surprised him. Being independent is a good way to gain respect and have a better home life. You will not be as dependent on him for your rewards and he will see you as someone who has options in life. Getting some kind of work and a hobby will bring something new to your relationship and your independent interests will put things in perspective in many ways. Good luck!