my ex who I loved for ten years has a baby and she want me to be her baby's
By bulastika
@bulastika (5966)
Philippines
March 10, 2012 5:14pm CST
My ex who also my best friend and I loved for ten years has a baby and she want me to be her baby's god father. I refuse but she some how insist. She also want me to see her baby.
Problem is that Its painful to me to she her and her baby. Because 10 years being together and we only been apart of a year and she already have a baby.
Although I meet her bf five months after we get separated and she introduce him to me. At that time I don't know that she is pregnant already. After that we never see its other again. I call but she her phone is always off. I leave message in emails and she sometimes reply hi and hello only. many times I ask if can meet her and her bf to play some billiards or hangout. she always say next week but months has pass and nothing happens until I give up communicating to her for I understand that she has a new bf. two weeks ago I found out that she has a baby..
She has a baby and she never told me.
And I confront her as a friend why she don't tell me and she has some reasons and apologies and accept that reason.
Now problem is this.
She want me to see her baby. She said she want me as the first friend to she her baby.
She don't want to tell me her baby's name. She said she just want to talk about it if we she each other. And she also want me to be godfather to her baby.
Now my problem is this. I still have feelings for her.
And its hurt me to know that she has a baby that I'm suppose to be the father.
And its hurt me to be the baby's godfather.
..
Right now I don't have a job, and I'm a bum for five years and that's the reason why we broke out. She just can't wait for me anymore.
And right now I feel like a total failure to see her having a family and to still make me part of her family pains me post..
..
If only I have a job. if only I can afford to live on my own. (as right now I'm living in the house of my older sister).
Now even if I can find a job and have an apartment of my own. I can't have her back anymore.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@applefuentes12 (97)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
let me tell you my story.. my husband is a bum ever since our 1st daughter arrived in our life.. my family hated him.. friends are disgusted with him.. but i still love him. after 3 yrs even having our 2nd child I'm still the breadwinner I'm a supervisor. but guess what.. a week from now he'll be boarding his 1st tanker ship as an OS and the cash advance that he got from the company is starting to become a home. You see if she truly loves you she'll be with you until you wakes up in reality that you are needed..
2 people like this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
@appleuentes12
I'm happy for you. I guess that showing them that when two people love each other believe in each other they can achieve their dream.s
But my concern is that when you say your family hated him and friends are disgusted him. I know you love him. But if your family hate him and your friend disgusted with him. I'm sure theirs a problem with him. Because your family and friend only want is best in you.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
hi apple, that's what you call true love..
I admire you for not giving up on him. And now you deserve her best..God is so good to good people.
@applefuentes12 (97)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
yep.. good thing i hold on.. during or downfall were together now he's about to soar up high he's bringing us up.. : )
@veejay19 (3589)
• India
11 Mar 12
I think that you are being very foolish to be still chasing a woman who doesn`t care a whit about you.If i were in your place i would completely ignore her and throw her out of my life once and forever.Just get involved in other things that bring joy to you and even if you still have any feelings for her eventually they will recede and die out.You still have a whole life ahead of you, why do you want to get stuck in one part that brings you misery? Firs tof all try and get a job and stand on your own feet without being depending on anyone,your sister for example.You are not a child,go ahead and live like a man.Become self sufficient and then think of other things like marriage.That can come later.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
ha? What give you an impression that I'm chasing a woman in here? My ex has a baby and she want me to be her baby's godfather and you think I'm chasing her? Do you know what godfather means? We break up one and half years ago. We two move on already. If you read my post again and try to understand it then maybe you can get half of the story.
But yes. My priority right now is to have a job. that's only what in my mind right now.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
12 Mar 12
Ten years is a long time and it's your choice how you handle all this but if it were me, I would get out of that and never look back. There is no reason why she should even ask that of you after everything. I might be offended if I were you. In my opinion it is time for you to move on and start living your life without worrying about what she wants ot thinks about anything. It's not important anymore. She made her choice.
I am not saying that it will be easy..I know it will be really tough..especially when she is trying to keep you on any kind of thread she can to hang on. You should do what you have to do to be happy and sometimes leaving the things we are used to behind is the best thing we can do.
Good luck!
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I guess half of the tangled threads is also my fault. Ten years being together you two dream many things. Like having a family, having a house, vacationing in some long distance places. In 10 years together I achieve nothing. But it does not mean I don't try. It just that one business loses after another and I also loss my job five years ago. my mom goes in and out of hospital for three years. So I think the pressure also take a toll on her.
And its a mutual break up. I know I can't deliver what I promise and I know she see that our relationship goes nowhere.
And when she found her new bf she so happy. I know she is in cloud nine. And I saw that same glow in her 10 years ago. That's why I'm happy for her. And for ten years being together all of that she and her current bf or father of her child achieve achieve in their first year of their relationship. So I failed her for ten years and her current bf done it in a year.
But same time. Theirs a feeling mutually that this is what we both dream before and its much much more a happy ending if I'm her bf.
If you understand what I mean.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
I don't want to be her child godfather. But I want to see her for the last time. As she want me to visit her and see her child. Maybe she going to let me hold her child and feel like a father for a day. But I told her that I will go and visit her and have some talk but I also told her that's the last time I'm going to see her until I have my own gf and family also.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Being a godfather is like being the second parent of the child. That's basically the essence of it. So I guess if you think you cannot perform the duties and responsibilities of a godfather, no matter what the reasons are, then it's better that you to turn it down. There are lots of godfathers out there who don't even remember their godsons or goddaughters.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
I agree. that's why I'm thinking if I want to accept it or not. Since theirs some deep relationship between us I'm sure I will going to love her baby like mine too. And since she knows also that I want to be a baby..
I really don't understand why life is so cruel. But if I accept to be the godfather of her baby. then I guess that's going to hurt me seeing her and her bf. And the more her baby got close to me. the more I have no right to make her baby as my own.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
Oh my God, this is very painful for you.You've been together for 10 years and shes dropped you off and got a baby. I think it' s not so right to be the God father. How can you stand the laughter they will share with their baby..
Lot's of people told me that if a couple will be together for so long like 10 years and not getting married usually the girl feels nothing, it will be flat and as if no marriage. Maybe that what she feels, she wants to settle down and you can't do that for her so she was fishing other guy.Im really sorry but I do hope you'll get over it.Godbless
You'll soon move on and find a new one..
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I don't know why anyone going to laugh. Because in the first place its a mutual break up one and half years ago. Ten years is long but. Theirs a time in your life that you want chance. I guess its just take a toll on both of us. Some frustrations financially and same time family problems. Its like you want to have a vacation alone and enjoy again.
Then she found a bf and she just seems energies and feeling alive again and theirs no problem with me as we are already break up. I even socialize with her bf when they still at starting stage.
..
I guess right now the main reason is that she got pregnant by her bf. And she just have financial and emotional stress because its not really a planned and expected one.
..
But in my side. I will going to visit her to see her baby and congrats her and end of the story.
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 12
It's best if you let go. Things don't work unless she also want you back. I am not in your shoes but if I do, I won't accept to be the godfather of the child. If I accept, it is like I am having hope of being rekindle with her and it's harder to let go once another tie being bond between both of you through the child. Why she wanted you to be the godfather?
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
You know it ten years of course in between you already talking about settle down. And I think she also know that I also want to have a baby. Or I don't know if its only my mind thinking. Theirs some half feeling in my part and maybe her part also that if we can chance the position of the star its better of if I'm the father of her baby. Because her mother don't accept her new bf yet. Unlike me that theirs no problem with her mom before.
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
that so sad though she resort to chase you because of that purpose. someone been left out and then just get notice when needed. this is really happen not only to friends but in your case your former ex. so good you still act friendly with her by being civil. though, assuming you to become the father of his baby is unfair on your side. because of many reasons you already stated which serve as a barrier. you really need to work out more and hopefully she understand your situation before then the situation of her life and yours may become different.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I think its won't happen. I know the limits of being civil. Beside if I want to have a child with her I don't or won't give up 10 years of being together. Theirs just things in life that don't fit and that's us. Theirs no week that we don't have a fight but theirs no week also that we are apart. Its just cycle until we decide that its boring and need to have a fresh air to breath.
@kristiane (112)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
Your story is really complicated, I advised you to move on with you're life and not let yourself to be hurt continuously by seeing your ex and her baby. Stop communicating with her and focus on earning money then start a small business so you'll become busier.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I agree. I need to move on. But I want to see her one last time also. Just to see her baby and congrats her. that's all. And I will stop seeing her again. I'm hoping that I can find a way to be stable in term of financial status again.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
No. I will never going to get her back. I will support her and her bf and her new baby as a family. I don't want to break that. In ten years we are together theirs no baby and in thee months with her bf she has a baby then that mean destiny. And since she knows how much I want to have a baby I think that's the reason why she want me to be her baby's godfather.
@katcha_13 (34)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
you better move on and enjoy your self. don't look for someone at the moment because it's not yet the right time, just enjoy yourself first and later you will realize that you deserve someone better. =)
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I already move on. Theirs no issue about it. Thinking of the past does not means I'm hoping that to be my future.
Its like this. have you watch a question and answer question type of contest like who want to be a millionaire etc? Now theirs some questions ask and you answer one question that the contestant can't answer and you told yourself. If I'm the one who joined that contest I have won the contest because I know the answer. But does it mean you are really serious to join that contest? of course not. that's the same situation in here. I already move on. Its just a thought of IF that I'm talking about.
