What would I do to make you stay and you love me...
@mscongeniality (110)
Canada
March 11, 2012 4:41am CST
I have a story to tell. This story is from a friend. And it breaks my heart as he goes on telling me the love story of his life.
And so here it goes, when he and his girlfriend for four years got married. And have a child he decided to go and work abroad for he said the salary he is earning is not enough to support the family. And so he went out of the country with this faith that he can give his wife a good life. His trust from her is the only thing he is holding on. The pain of being away and the thought of missing her so much almost makes him crazy. But he never looses hope that his hard work will eventually be given fruits of financial stability.
And so months and year went by still being away from his wife and his child made him homesick. Until one day he heard something bad against his wife. Some friends told him that his wife is having an affair with another man. This made him extremely disturbed and he can not work right. Until he decided to go home without telling his family. He went home without anything just his passport in his hand. Oh well, he actually went directly to his parents house and not his house where his wife and child were. And his mother was shocked when she saw him at the door of their house. His mother asked him why he did not tell them that he is coming home. And he just replied that he misses his room and his bed. And so the next morning he told his mother about what he was hearing about his wife. But he said his mom can't say anything because she don't see his daughter in law that often. His daughter in law live in a different town. Far from where they live. Or maybe he said his mother doesn't want him to get furious. His mother just told him to get a rest so he can visit his family. The next morning my friend told her mother that he is going out just to buy something in the nearby market. But that time he is planning to go to his wife and see if what he is hearing is true. He said he asked God to give him a sign. When he went out of their house a bus going to the port went by and so he took that bus. When he gets to the port most of the boats are full but a lady went to him and asked him where he is going. And so he told her that he needs to take one of the boat to go home but most of them were full and so the lady was very kind to offer and told him to pretend that he is with her so he can purchase a ticket to take the boat.
When he was already on the boat he heard some women talking near him about somebody they know who is having an affair with their boss. And when he turned his head to them these women recognized him and was also shocked that he was there. And at that moment he realized that they were talking about his wife. He said he asked these women straight to the point if they were talking about his wife and he was astound that they admitted that it was his wife. That moment he said he is tried to control himself from anger.
When he gets into their place, the clock seems to stop and saw all the people were looking at him. All of them stopped of what they're doing. He went and knocked the door but his wife made him wait for an hour before she let him in. She was surprised that he was there knocking at the door. He went directly to their room and told her that he was so tired and he wanted to go to bed. But still he wanted to prove that what he heard aren't true. He asked his wife to make love with him. But she refused to and made a lot of alibi. Up to the point that his wife can no longer said no to him. He said that when the time that he is about to make love with her, his wife suddenly admitted about the unfaithfulness she's doing while he is away. How disloyal she is to him and that she is cheating him and having an affair with another man. At this point he said he still tried to remain calmed. All he said to his wife was "get dressed".
He don't know what to do at that point. He wanted to hurt his wife but he can't because he said he love her so much. He wanted to fixed his relationship to her but things have changed. Someone already destroyed their relationship.
To love is wonderful. To be with the person you love is everything a person can wish for. Because of this life become meaningful. But to be betrayed is another story. How can you love a person when you know that this person is cheating you? How can you make this person stay if you know that this person's heart has been stolen by somebody else? Life sometimes is unfair as they said. But I guess, that's how life goes even how hard we do to make it perfect. And nothings is perfect in this life, everything always have a flaw so that we can learn and be strong enough to face another day. All we need to do is learn to move on...
3 responses
@Mashnn (4501)
•
11 Mar 12
Sorry that your friend has to go through this pain. I think what the wife did to him is unfair and even though he loves her too much, I would not suggest them to stay together anymore. On the other hand, despite the hard economic times, some men take advantage of the situation and just go to work abroad and never return home until after 2 to 3 years later on. One questions that I have always asked myself in such a situation is; how do those men expect the intimate/affectionate needs of your wives to be met. What about children who are growing up without experiencing the fatherly love and care that they should have? Do you think they are affected in some way or not? I think no matter how much we want to live comfortably, it is always good to consider the family that you leave behind.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
14 Mar 12
It is really a sacrifice to go away from home and work in a strange place or country. But a good responsible father and husband will do this sacrifice just to give his family a good life. That's why I can not blame those people who work far from home. My dad also worked abroad since I was a child and I grew up without him. And sad to say they are also a part of those people who can't hold on to their relationship. Things changes and their feelings changes too. On my part it wasn't my mom who is unfaithful but it is my dad who did the wrong thing. Finding another woman...
I guess relationship is always suffers if the couple are weak or one of them is weak. There should always be a good communication and understanding on both sides to make the relationship work. And if one loose track and the partner doesn't know how to fix it then everything will be ruined. I admire those people who really have their faithfulness on their partner.
Because it is really hard to have a long distance relationship... And for married people it is always the children who suffer on this. :(
@Mashnn (4501)
•
15 Mar 12
Sorry if you had to go through such a rough childhood. The reason that I said that is because I have heard alot of complaints about couples living apart and seems that most couples cannot hold it together. I just wonder why are some employers so inconsiderate that they do not allow a married family men to move abroad with his family or it is usually a choice to leave their family behind? I am currently not working but since my husband is working here in Philippines, I just had to move with him here.
@HONEYPALS (270)
• Nairobi, Kenya
11 Mar 12
mscongeniality. Congratulations...this is the best and frank story I have read in mylot. The fact that the spouse has admitted her infindelity is a good enough repetance. They should see a marriage consellor for assistance. Theirs can turn out to be a model family.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
14 Mar 12
Oh Thank you for that! :) I am trying to reply on you comment a few days ago, I don't know why I can't post my response. And so I give up after trying so many times. :)
Any ways, about my friend I don't think they can be together again even though the wife asked for forgiveness. There is one thing that I forgot to include in the story, that my friend's wife got pregnant the time that he was away. And that maybe the reason why he can no longer take this infidelity. And the fact that his wife wasn't pregnant to her boss but to other man. This kind of story I can only see on movies but it really happened in real life and even me I can't believe it at first.
The pain that my friend gained from his unfaithful wife can no longer be fixed by a marriage counsellor. And so they decided to part ways and now my friend have a new family. I just hope for his happiness for this new love.
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
I have never been in a relationship between a man and a woman and so is to being married. Hearing the story of your friend breaks my heart but it is not an unusual happening. I do have a sympathy to your friend who went abroad to give his family the best .But also I have to think why the wife did those things. Was it because of plain lust? or maybe she also felt neglected that she started looking for another to comfort her.Because for me you do not marry a person that easily, you think hard before you decide and so you will think that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. So why did it turn out that way in just a short period of time? Your friend must be a very confused man now. I do not know how to advise your friend in this case because it is the make or break of the family we are talking about. But you know when one has given up with the relationship and you tried your best to fix it. I think it is time to let go, because it will never work. It takes two to tango as they say. You can dance alone but you will look funny and so true also in a relationship. It will only bring more hurt. I also think it would be very difficult to get pass with the cheating issue. The guy is ready to forgive but the wife is guilty and I do not know if it would be easy for her to get pass it to move the relationship in a recovery phase. Indeed life is not perfect, we love and lost, nothing is permanent and full of surprises. We just have to be ready to face whatever life brings us. Living a complicated life is hard but that's how it is sometimes.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
12 Mar 12
Even me, I can't believe at first because he said that they were in a relationship for four years before they got married. I sometimes think that maybe my friend did some mistakes on their marriage too. But he said he love his wife so much. A reason why he married her and even if she did this betrayal he tried to forgive her.
And you are maybe right on your opinion that the wife is guilty of what she does. Their marriage were never been fixed and now they are separated. His child live with his wife. And he also have a new family now, but still out of marriage because his marriage from his wife is not annul or divorce yet.
Every time my friend remembers what his wife did to him he said every thing comes to life like a flashback. The hardest part of his story is that his wife got pregnant with another man while he is out of the country.
Oh well, love is really hard to understand sometimes. The thing is a person should know how to forgive and move on which is very hard for a person who are in great pain.