When A Good Samaritan Made You Realize, THEY DON'T CARE :(

joan's almost twenty and trisha's fifteen. schools even teach good manners and respect to the oldies so i don't think they do not know anything about these two things.

You're right! At these ages they should know how to act. Have you talked to them and asked them why they didn't do anything?

i didn't, i just condole my wife and make her feel that i am beside her. actually, it happened when i had the boys with me on the motorcycle and so they (the three girls) walked. it could not happen i guess, if i had the my wife too on the motorcycle with me.

Neildc I still think now is a good time for you to ask them point blank "what the devil were you thinking not to be there and help your own mom?"

they just showed their true colors. they really do not care about their parents and i feel that they are really that selfish. if we could not depend on them right now, i cannot see that we can depend on them when we get more older.

that is really the sad thing about it and what my wife feel so sad and disgusted. if they cannot show their love and care today that we are both stronger, how can they take care of us when things get rougher to any one or both of us? and we pity the younger kids and especially, the special child. who will take care of them when we have no more strength to take care of them?

h mssnow oh you are so ri ght. here in the US parents rush to find a 'home' for ailing mom or dad,not even considering just maybe the best home they could provide should be their own home. I have seen other retirees come with smartly dressed adult children come to gold Crest to get rid of their aging mom or dad, I mean they are too damned selfish to consider bringing mom or dad into their own home. heavens Dad sometimes wets himself or Mom forgets to take some of her pills, lets ship them off onto a retirement home with assisted living.oh Mom dont cry you will love it here. blah blah no they d o not love it here. but the adult kids pat themselves onm the back and leave mom or dad to wipe the tears from thei eyes at being dumped in a strange place among strangers. I am here solely because three years ago he lost his job, and we spent all our saving gtryinto keep up rent while he could not find a job of anykind. were evicted and my son knowing he could no get another apt for the two of us helped me get in here. this was love on his part,finally he has a part time job but does not get paid enough yet to move us into a two bedroom apt. but so many are here because adult children did not want the hassel of caring for aging parents. shame on them.

as you know Hatley, our culture is so much different from yours. and i guess, some of you from out there love the way we care for our oldies, and even with out children who are suppose to be grown-ups and live out. so what my wife experienced with her daughters really hurt her.

That's really sad considering the children are no longer kids. They should think about their mom at times like that.

typo error, I am not in any position :)

i understand. but our culture states that it is not a good manner though it is not really bad. but if you are actually in that position of the daughter, i know you won't be acting that way.

and as what people said, everything good and bad thing starts within the family.

He is almost 10, but I raised three other teenagers and from my experience, until they "grow up" they usually don't consider helping out the family much..:(

But at least i guess they help once you ask for them to help, only that they don't have the initiatives.

how old is your son now?

being a parent is not really that easy. but one thing i always look back if it's parenting is the subject, is what my parents taught us. countless subject that me and my siblings learned from within our household. and yet, even how much we try to become a good follower of our parents and apply all that good things to our own household, we could not always put our eyes on our own children all the time. i mean, even how much we teach them good deeds, respect, care and all that things to become a better person, the surroundings, the influences they're with when they are not at home make a lot of difference. i remember our kids when they are in grade schools. they were so easy to follow orders, very respectful, etc. but when they went to high school, i notice the changes. they do whatever they want to do. they also becoming to be liars to cover up their irregularities.

actually, i thought about that as not a bad manner but not a good one too. i can say that those girls just grew-up to be so stubborn and unkind after all the lessons they learned from home. we just could not blame all things to parents as not all the time, they are together, especially when it's school time.

you know what... being helpful is not being thought just by telling that you should and you should not... we learn being helpful and nice to other people because we (us only) live in a community where people show us what is the meaning of being helpful and nice and being rude is a crime. i have no idea what you meant by saying "thought" but like i said we didn't learn it because our mother or father tell us to do so... no! people show us what it means to be nice and helpful and it has been in our DNA since. i don't blame the parents it's the whole environment, the whole community. each (individual) has it's different effects on how we inter act with our community. some times it's negative but sometimes it's positive. but what is important is that we know our choices. our choices separate us from the rest of the community, giving us that uniqueness. so each has to answer on their actions, if they are being rude then people wouldn't be that happy in their presences. i have one theory about what had happened. may be the girls think that their mother is an able woman and helping her out would embarrass her. may be it's just a miss communication between them. i am a daughter myself... sometimes i don't help my mother for she is very much able and proud of it. but sometimes i miss calculate things that even if she needs my help still i don't give my hand. but she always calls my attention and that is when the time i give my hand. you might think about the drama behind the girls and their mother. i think there is much to it than meets the eye. this is more than just helping... do the girls spend more time with their mother? do they have a chat? do they communicate? really communicate... do you know what runs around the girls thoughts or does the girls knows what their mother thinks? you see these are simple questions but when you ask the girls it might not be that simple after all. i think that they should talk really talk... these girls are grown ups now... and i think that they should try to talk to their mother as a grown up and not to four-year-olds. like i said i don't blame the parents... may be the girls feel awkward. sometimes i feel awkward with my mother. may be that is just why they miss communicate.

like i have said, what the girls did was actually not bad, but not really good. and that hurt their mother.

you are absolutely right. parents expect to receive that affection in return to the love and care that we give them. and it is but natural to feel disappointed when they show no care to us.