Anger management - I like the new suggestion..

Getting angry is a natural phenomenon. Why should we stop ourselves from not getting angry. The point is - how to divert our anger so that not to harm others or ourselves. Stirring something in the glass or cup is not a bad idea, but am wondering how long one could continue it? One idea could be to give hard blows to pillow, till one feels tired or anger melts down. A Husband got frustrated with his wife's attitude. His wife was away from home. He started hitting knife on his wife's picture but he was missing the point. Suddenly his wife phoned him and asked - "Dear what are your doing?" Husband said - "Darling am missing you". Have a nice day/evening. dpk

I really need anger management. Thanks God you are there. I am most of the time angry because some things which really turned me mad. Anyway, I will try those tips of yours. Now I want to control my anger. I just have to deal with things slowly and gently as you said. Great discussion! Great help!

I don't have any similar tips but my husband definitely needs help with anger management. But he is not going to try the stirring or anything else for that matter :-( I think that for a person to correct something, they need to recognize first that there is a problem and that they WANT to correct it. Though my husband does admit that he has an anger problem, he doesn't want to take the trouble to correct it.So, nothing is going to help him. How is it difficult to run your thumb at the edge of your little finger?Yes, it's probably psychological.

What happens if you're ambidextrous (like me)?

Interesting Vandy... If you get seasick or airsick you can pinch hard the flesh under your thumb on your palm (I heard it from others)...

I also have a problem about managing my anger, I try to go away from the cause of my anger when my flame starting to burst up, then I'll start to think something about that person that he/she/they are nothing and they are just dogs, they know nothing and they are stupid, I'm better than them and it's better not to step in their miserable lives because they can not go anywhere, they are just garbage. After I thought about that, I can sense a relief somehow and a boost in my confidence. But somehow in the corner of my mind, the sight of anger is still in there.

The one with stirring something with your other hand you normally do not use is an interesting thought and idea. I would have never considered it, but in reality it could work. I have done the Headache one before many times, and it does work. I am sure there are others, but cannot think of any right now.

Hi vandana, When you get angry punch to a mirror. You will be punished for your anger.

interesting. all i know is i have to breathe slowly counting 1 up to ten before giving in to anger. ever since i was a child, i am slow to anger but the incidences are kept inside my head that is why when the cup is full, i burst, and the victim are always left helpless. thanks for sharing. i will definitely try this!

Hi Aai... Your daughter in law is finalized. Well, i never get angry easily and if i get then, nothing can control me. Honestly speaking, i have forgotten when i got angry for the last time. have a nice time.

that is a good trick, so instead of throwing the glass or breaking it. just stir it with a spoon r maybe a straw would do. this taught you to be calm and less the feeling of being aggressive or mad to let those things that stress you go away. being calm could be compare to a water still and silent yet the waves may turn into a tidal wave just like a man, it get disturb too. so being patient helps a lot.

We all tend to end up reacting to anger in whatever way that our nature allows. The first two methods you have mentioned are all about concentration being diverted from whatever the issue that has triggered the temper. Personally and unfortunately, I have tried out most of these methods and have failed. Somehow my temper always wins where I and my issues are concerned. I am a good one while giving others the advice but an abject and dismal failure where it concerns me. I mean every word of this, lame as it sounds. As far as the methods are concerned, there is one which is supposed to be very effective to manage the impulsive reaction to a stressful situation. Recite the Alphabet backwards. Believe me, it is hard and needs a huge amount of concentration, enough to divert ones thoughts away from a shouting match or worse. Hard to do, I mean, where in the name of world would one have time or the disposition to interrupt a bout of aggressiveness to recite Alphabet, even if it is backwards? The second one, if we were to fall back on religion and humaneness, is to put ourselves into the understanding and forgiveness mode and be rational about the whole stuff. Unimaginable if someone was of my nature. The third one is to walk away from the issue with as much dignity as possible and go to an empty room, shut oneself in and shout out all the frustrations. This depends on the situation of course, one can hardly do it in a bus, even if elbowed rather rudely. Anger as with other emotions are a state of mind. It takes a long time and a huge effort to master it. It is not good enough to be angry and then try to control it, we should have a hold of it as a matter of living. See? I am good at giving advice.

I'm just opposite to it. If I get angry, I will express and get rid of it. Controlling it by any means will lead again with more troubles. So, if I get angry, I will speak out and beyond control, I will simply cool down in some time. I won't go for any alternative, as long as I knwo I am just scribling for a reasons. Also, with regard to head ache, it is scientifically proved and it simply helps stimulus to our blood vessols to activate certain signals to the brain thereby the area of our body reacts. It is said that there is certain direct link with the brank with differnt parts of our body (specific) areas. If we give movements in those areas, the related parts will get more active, which in turn become active and the uneasiness get reduced.

i had the same problem and then over a period of time i also think i have controlled it. whn i m upset or just abt to get angry i ask myself :is that person/activity so important that wud divert my mind from doing my things...wud stop me from doing my core jobs of life and after all think abt that person....:...if a person is important to u then its a different matter and needs a different solution howver if the person is not so impotant then whts the fun to get angry and burn ur energy... thanks for this discussion

Hi Vandana When I used to get angry, I did try out counting the numbers in reverse but that failed. I tried out drinking cool water and that helped at times. I think it is anything that you can do in a while where you can try to get the focus away from what angered you. Luckily, today, I rarely get angry. But... I do feel that it is always better to vent out the anger (in the right way of course) instead of keeping it within... This adds to blood pressure and also leads to heart attacks at times. So just be careful. Personally, I try venting out the anger and frustration many a times but in a different way - like at times I open up MyLot and Rant out! This helps too.

Doing some other things when one is angry distracts one's attention to something. It's very good.And i sometimes try what some experts advise us. When i have a headache, i will put some cold water on my forhead and my temples.From what you wrote above i will try running my thumbs at the edge of my little finger.Thanks.

This sounds like a sensible idea. Diversion is indeed a good way of anger management. In my case simple deep breathing exercises helps me control my anger quite effectively.

When I have the sudden impulse to talk back, I just bite my tongue for a while and try to listen more to the person and try to reason out my arguments in such a way it will be more understandable to the other person. I try as much as possible to see the other person's point of view before I would respond. If after biting my tongue, I see that making the counter-argument would be useless anyway, I just turn away, sometimes literally, from the person, for a confrontation or meeting of minds another day. Usually the turning away sends a direct message to the other person, and silences him/her of course. I try as much as possible to stay away from anger, whether it's my anger or the other person's anger. It makes for a relaxed and peaceful life.

I better go and buy some plastic cups when I start to stir.

I don't know if those suggestions like stirring a cup with your non-dominant hand. what I know is that I need really to manage myself when I'm angry because I'm easily irritated at times and I can't manage well my anger which results in a bad consequence. I might want to try those tips you've mentioned. I think the best one you gave is the one where we count one to one hundred before doing or saying something. I learned from my mentor not to make a decision when my decision-maker is broken because usually anger is one of the outcome. he says that if I want to get angry, I need to do it the next day, if it is still in my head. It's a good advice but difficult to do.