Have you ever been in the position that you felt like you had to choose?

I gave up working when I still had scope to come up the ladder but I wanted time for myself doing what would give me joy. I took the plunge and resigned from my lucrative job as getting money at the cost of my happiness was my last choice as my husband anyway took care of that. But least did I know that I would convert my gardening hobby into business as at that time there was heavy demand for designing landscaped gardens. This was the best thing that happened to me!

i have had to choose. I had three jobs for awhile. One of the times I left my ex. I was in real trouble financially. I worked a graveyard shift, then on the phone when I got home soliciting. Then late morning until early afternoon I worked fast food. I was always able to be at my daughter's programs at school rarely unable to get time off. It did get to a point at my last job that it was a question of family or job. My granddaughter was not behaving and I never knew when I would have to leave work. My choice was always family sometimes to my detriment. Jobs then were relatively easy to come by. And, anyway by then I was pretty much a basket case and really didn't care. Family was always the chose I made.

Many times. Although much of the time when my kids were growing up I was a stay at home mom, kids need their mothers throughout their lives. And it's not just kids needs that make working hard. I've sometimes felt as if I lost my own life by not having the time to enjoy the things I like to do. It's hard, but then, it's life and it's always been that way to a degree. Even when women didn't work outside the home, they had to be busy when there were times they'd rather have been able to enjoy their families or themselves. Sometimes there is no real choice to be made. One has to do what one has to do.

oh yes been there done that I always wanted to work and hubby didnt want me too wanted me home when the kids got home from school he felt that that apid more than me working. But when the kids got grown and gone or married I work when I could find a job where ever we lived I usually ended up working in the motels we lived in. NOw I work from home and well out some sampleing people you knoww aht I sample people with lolololol and am starting to get ahead of the game slowly but best choise I ever made

Yes and absolutely. I missed taking my youngest son to kindergarten on his first day of school because I was required to be at work instead. I still have regrets about that and it happened 22 years ago. There is pressure for Moms to be in two places at the same time and it's impossible. I had my own personal dilemma with this because I wanted to be available for my children but I also felt obligated to contribute to the checkbook. I never learned how to do it all at the same time. I just did my best. Hang in there and know that your best is always good enough!

I felt really bad about having to go back to work when my eldest child was only three months old. Unfortunately in 1996 when she was born the allowance for paid Maternity Leave was only three months and I couldn't afford to stay off longer with no money coming in. I felt really bad about it but had no other option.

i guess so. i was in the situation before but i could not afford not to work and just stay unemployed because even if i do not have a family of my own i support "family". and family is my mom and i help with the expenses at home. =( sometimes i thought of this, if i could just run away, if i could just disappear and just not do anything and think about what i wanted with my life. but the choice almost always is i have no choice but to stay and still fulfill my life's destiny if i can call it that...

well, since I never married or had children, I only feel that I've had to chose these last few years doing home health (that gets NO holidays)... Now, however, I figure that if I tell them, I can only be in 2 places at once I can make them decide if they HAVE to have their get together at that time, or can they pick another day... BTW, the two places are my job and - if not the weekend - the roomie's family to pick her up... She gets off, but she can't drive so I have to get her... This coming year I suspect that both of the blind roommates will be out at the roomie's folks, unless the new roommate's family ask her to come see them.

Many times in my life I have felt like this. It seems as though most companies have no consideration for mothers who work for them. I think that it is sad that this occurs as often as it does. I have had to work many times when I wanted to be home. I missed everything that my youngest ever done in preschool because I was a retail store manager and could never be off to do anything with her. I feel cheated and that I cheated her and I have lived with that for a long time. I missed her basketball games when she was in elementary school too because of it. Spending time with her is actually why I quit that job. I had switched shifts with my assistant so that I could be home with her that day and the assistant called me at 11:30 in the morning and said that instead of coming in at 3 I needed to come then because she was leaving. I said that I could not and she insisted that she was leaving early. She had only worked 2 1/2 hours. After hanging up and crying for a few minutes of having to tell her again that I was going to work instead of doing what we had planned, I decided that she was more important. I called back and told the assistant that if she left she better call the district manager because I quit! I then called the district manager, left her a voicemail because she would not answer her phone, and told her that I quit! Three hours later she was on the phone asking why and I told her that it was time that I put my children first. She said that I could and still work and I told her no I couldn't because everytime I was off someone was calling or not showing up for work and when I tried to fire them, they whined to her and she allowed them to come back. I was done! I turned my keys in later that day and never looked back!

Hi Jen, I think I am very fortunate when it comes to work. I have always done what I loved. I first worked as a musician (piano/keyboards), and loved every minute of it. After about 12 years of being in the business, it started to get hard to work full time - every night as technology took over from the live musician and there were hundreds of us chasing few jobs. I went down to around 3 nights a week and whilst we could get by, I learned all about budgeting and making ends meet. It was a good lesson but I needed to work harder than that. As nights at home seemed very odd to me. I actually started watching TV then! By chance I happened to be talking to somebody who was a hypnotherapist and felt a strong attraction to that sort of work. So back to school I went. Eventually I was working full time, from morning to night and left the music business behind and it became a hobby. I then got into Zen and existentialism and the rest is history, so they say.. Now I am coming to retirement, but will not stop working completely. Last year I decided to stop seeing clients and just work at home via the Internet, giving advice re stress management and Zen practice. I have always made the choice to work. When I was a musician, sometimes there would be a gap between contracts (I did mostly seasonal work) and I would do any job, but found that I could take to it OK. The most boring was as a warehouse man, just loading and unloading trucks with a forklift machine.. That taught me something though... how to transcend boring jobs. I would say that no matter what job a person would do, he/she could still choose to do it mindfully with focus and a boring job would easily turn into a job that was nurturing.. I have proved that to myself. _Derek

I have always had to work and yes.....have missed many things with family that I wished I could have attended....when the kids were little I had to work two jobs as I was the sole provider.....I had no choice..and yes you are often left between a rock and a hard place...and it's so sad.

I guess I was very lucky, I always liked to work, I was the goto person for family troubles and Hubby was the family guy who loved the kids sports and other activities. So we split the family requirements and both felt that we each could handle the part we did of family responsibilities best. I often carried two jobs but always was available to attend any emergencies that came up with the family.

Oh yes I have been in that position many times. I got married very young. My then husband was in the military and gone often. Every time he deployed he would forget he had a family. He would take cash advances on his pay that would leave us penniless by the time payday rolled around. I found out real quick that the military is not great about helping dependents out. I had to go out and get two jobs to survive. I worked Monday through Friday at a grocery store and then on the weekends I worked at a local bar. Monday through Friday I worked the day shift and had a regular sitter (the woman was a God send) and then on Friday evenings I would take the kids to my Mama and pick them back up early Sunday morning. I worked for months on end like this. It was hard. I missed out on alot. Thank God I had good people around to help me or we would have been homeless. As a Mother we buckle down and do what we have to do. It is not easy and in the end we don't get awards for it and as our kids get older we see how much we really missed out on. My oldest children are 22, 21 & 18 now. This is my second marriage and I have a 2 year old and twin 5 month old boys. I have stayed home or worked from home with these three. I see how very much I missed with the other three by just every day things that the little ones do. If I could do it over again with this information I have now, I would do it. I don't know how I would manage and do it differently but I would. As a parent you just really need to step back and ask yourself how much are you willing to miss. There are important things that I don't really remember about my kids because I was not there to see it happen. Ask yourself what you have to do in order to keep things going but also ask yourself what you are willing to miss out on..... God Bless you and your family & good luck!

hi there, if i am in the situation, i will choose to work, to work hard so i can earned money then i can buy food for a table,i don't want to see my family dying in hunger, even if i can still feed them or help them, in the part of your family having illness i will rent other that can carry or comfort my family,theres a lot of way to solve your problem, think everything and to a moves, careful not think too much, if you just doing think, think, and think... and your not do a moves, nothing but might some bad thing will happen. so if i am yours go, and work hard... always remember that your thoughts is your masterpiece,

Yes, I have. It is having to make that kind of choice that really leads to burnout in some cases. I hope this is not really where you are right now, but it does happen. It is hard to reach a balance.

I've been in that situation these past few months before I visited mylot again. Since I'm a single mom and have my one daughter with me, It's hard when your paying bills alone. I must admit her father supported us but I just thought that is not enough for us and even me who has dreams of having my own house. I browse some site that who offered a job abroad because here in my country aged is so highly discriminated, when you reached the age of 35 and up don't expect of having a nice job with respected salary. So I joined some site and submit my resume to them to hire me. There is a certain agency that called me for an interview for a domestic job. I consulted a friend about these offer, she told me that don't expect a good rates too in that kind of job, and of course you will leaved your daughter with whom? I think it over and over until I decided to stop looking job abroad, I can't leave my daughter alone. I just thought for now I must be contented of what I have, maybe in the future if opportunity knocks and it is a good offer somehow I will give it a try.

I see my sister having to work so many hours, and the same with my brother in law. I don't want to be that mom. My sister does have an opportunity to get a better, higher paying job, with her own company car, and weekends off. I think she should take it. She knows the guy through her tae kwon do classes. She'd be able to spend more time at home which is what I know she wants to do. I want to be able to save up enough money wherein if need be, I could not work so that I can take care of my kids myself. I see one of my best friends struggling, she doesn't have a job but when she did she hardly had time with her daughter. She is in school, and had a job at the same time, it was just too hard for her. She's also a single mom. I think that if we as women can, we should try to stay home, but then again same for the men. Here in America we do have to spend so much time at work, or suffer financially. It's terrible.

yes... i am a working mom and i wanted to stay at home, work there and be with my growing son. but i have no choice right now so i am still currently working full time. ideas are coming and i know one day i will be able to achieve what i really want. i used to be a career oriented woman but then it all change when i had my son. because of him, i just wanted to stay at home and take care of him, teach him and play with him. those are the most precious moments i can never trade. but i know God has a better plan so i just wait fro what it is. i know He will give a good choice for me in the right time so for now i need to manage my time between work and family, being my family the first priority always.

Indeed many people have to work to live.If they have enough money , they don't have to choose in some aspects.For example, If the wife doesn't have to work ,she will look after her family better.Unfortunately, without her sallary, her family doesn't work .IN many cases it's diffcult for people to choose.

Oh definately, I have always worked full time so my kids have always been placed in daycares. Choosing between doing something with my kids who mean the world to me or having to do something else because it was presented to me as being more important. I did sway to the important things at time for my first, but when my second was born I always always put family first, they will always be here, nothing else matters.