love: the tighter you hold it, the more it will fly away?

I agree with how you put it. The more we are after love, the more it runs faster away from us. Of course, we as humans are created free and by nature, we want freedom and not somebody controlling us. In my advance study of things, I found out that the more you push something on somebody, the more they are running away. If you pursue love, it flies. When you pursue money, it flies. Understanding the principle behind it would be a wonderful thing which helps us to get what we desire. I learned that if we want love, we give love and naturally, love will come back to us. If we want money, we give and it comes back multiplied. No wonder the Bible principle is "Give and it shall be given unto you..." It can be anything. Give a smile and people will smile back to you. Give time to listen and people will listen to you. Give your life to God and you will have life...Oh that I've learned this principle at an early age.

Hi Aunt Hatley, I believe that saying is true. If you hold onto kids too tight you will lose them. If you hold onto a spouse too tight you might lose him or her too. I believe in letting love go and if it comes back to you, you were meant to have it.

It depends on the person. If they are jealous and lack self-esteem then there could be a problems. A saying I enjoy is: If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. by Kahlil Gibran I pretty much think that explains it.

sounds like a trust problem. and most often then not one is like this in todays relationships. little do they know it only makes matters worse.

Hi Hatley, Your husband is fortunate enough that he did not irritated you before marriage. Love sometimes cross the limit. It is natural.

What you said may well be right.I doubt if her boy friend has finished with her. The young woman gave her boy friend so many calls a day so as to make sure what he was doing,she has never thought her boy friend was likely to get tired of that.In the eyes of him,the young woman treated him this way before getting married,if they got married,it would surely be that "the grey mare is the better horse."

Hi Hatley, I agree, real love mean giving freedom but the young generation is become possessive and like to make a circle on their loved ones which creates troubles. Nobody likes to get controlled by somebody even if it is a person who loves the most. Anything too much is dangerous for sure. Not sure about the situation of this young woman you mentioned, may be they are living far away and the she may be over concerned.

"This young woman was all upset because he did not answer all her many calls she had made to him." This is a very sick person. She is looking for someone to give her the attention she craves and she craves attention because she has a mental illness. In fact, I believe that love like this IS a mental illness. I pray that I never fall in love again, have my chemicals all upset and my world turned upside down over my obsession with another person. Love is an illness, it ruins lives, it is a curse that I believe Satan himself has saddled us with. God would never have subjected us to something like that.

Iam in agreement with you on this. Its the insecure ones that do that. Its also the insecure ones that are cheaters. They fear being dumped so start looking around before they are dumped.

yes, that true even young or older adult s not happy being controlled. so i think a relationship like that is like having a bodyguard 24/7 and very strict with there partner. t mean they have no trust with each other, being close does not mean reporting every minutes so the other partner get jealous thinking the other partner have no time with them. so in every relationship there s a need to cool down or let them have their space.

Hi Hatley, Thoug it is hard to beleive, it is a real fact and I am sure that your experience is really worthy. Thank-s

Hi Hatley, You are correct, a guy do not like someone to follow, checking, controlling and keep asking him all the time. Most of the time, a guy will like to be free rather than being control, they will be scared and that will make them run away. . Instead to keep calling him, she should pretend no too care about him and let him worried about her, and in that ways, the relationship will be longer and stronger. As the physiology of a man, if the girl keep tagging to him and make him feel controlled and lost his freedom, he will definitely fly away as quicker as you can't even think of.

I think this happens because it's natural for every individual to have some sort of breathing space in any relationship.

There could be various reasons why some girls act that way sometimes or let me say oftentimes. It could be a sign of mistrust, jelousy, caring or just addictive to call her boyfriend. All these because of love. But if we really love the person we need not monitor every move each one make. That could be a suffocating for a person who doesnt want to controlled of anybody even if they have a relationship. The point here is, we should give each one a space of time.

There is a big difference between love and desperation. I think of the saying from the 70's, and that may be the one you are thinking of as well. If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it does not, it never was. Anyway, it went something like that.

Hi Hatley! What you say is true not only for lovers but for any kind of love /--even children would find it stifling. Regarding your last sentence, I find this is the trend of many modern young women.They have far too many expectations and behave this way. People, by and large would always be the same and and their respective partners protest or run away. Then they will realise it and either come to terms with it or as is the current trend, go their merry ways.They will resist it at first. The older generations were more tolerant and had fewer expectations.

That sounds like a very needy, insecure person. They'll be lucky to hang on to anyone with that behavior.

A pleasant day Hatley, What you have posted is indeed right. The more you hold the relationship, the more it tends to burst. Hence, this type of relationship is irritating. Thus, a healthy relationship should be balance in all aspect.

Hi Friend: This girl sounds very insecure and needing to call her boyfriend several times a day shows a lack of trust in him as well. Instead of bringing him closer to her,she is actually pushing him away. since no one wants to be controlled or made to feel as if they aren't trusted.and the fact that she becomes upset when he doesn't answer, shows how little she does trust him. I fear if she continues doing what she is doing, sooner or later she just may lose him altogether.

Love is many things to many people, as it is not easily or specifically defined. Love is basically different between mates, parents and children, even children have a different love for their parents as their parents do for them. Love is not controlling, either actively or passively, and the more someone tries to hold onto something, the more it wants to be free, that is true. A person can smother another with love, and that is not good. A person deprived of air will desire it, even to the point of fighting to get it. Fighting does not need to be physical, pulling away and making a conscious effort to stay away can be representative of a fight. If you watch people in love, you will no doubt see people who seem to be always together when they can be, and you will see people that seem quite far apart. They never seem to do things together unless it's necessary, or a family vacation. Then there will be couples that are somewhere in between the two extremes. As long as both partners agree with the arrangement and call it love, who can say differently? You are absolutely correct, no one wants to be controlled all the time, people need space to "fall" in love, not be roped and hog-tied into it.