missing exbest friend

Why do I want to talk to a men that choice not to be a father any more to his own 3 children and wants nothing to do with them only because of the fact he doesn't like his ex-wife. So really talking to him is out of the question. As a mom that just kills me to have a friend that would do that to his own kids and only want to be a father to his step kids and dyne the lives he has created with someone else. If we talk it would start a fight. I don't need that drama in my life with my pregnant with my second kid.

My husbands dad was like that but if it wasn't for my husbands mom going to court and getting her ex husband to sign papers saying he would see my husband and his sister they would have never seen there dad ever. That is why me and my ex friend aren't friends any more. He doesn't see it as any issue because he feels he has no kids with anyone else then his new wife and they have two kids together. Which are his step kids. I'm all for him being a step dad but forgetting and not wanting your own kids that kills me as a mother on the inside to be friends with someone like that. So I cut the ties I don't talk to him. I hope he goes back to his old self but that might not ever happen and I feel so bad for his 3 boys not having a father in there life and I hope that there mother finds a better man to be there dad one day. When she gets her act together.

Wow. Yeah, I wouldn't ever want to associate with such a person. It'd disturb me mentally, forget about the drama altogether, forget even talking to someone like that. I couldn't mentally associate with such a person. My father is exactly like that. I've been the neglected child.

Yes it is his own busyness with is kids. But I don't want that as an example for my kids period. I don't care who they are they won't be in my life if they can't step up to there own kids but to someone else kids. I'll always have a problem with people like that I'm not going to tell or him that he needs to go see his kids and that he needs to be with them. He knows how I feel about it that is what made us friends to start and he broke a promise not only to me but to his kids and his nephew. I have no respect for him or people like that that do things like that to there children.

I can definitely understand that you feel that way. The way I would see it is that it's his decision. Unless he tells me about it his family situation is none of my business. And even then we might get into a heated discussion but I wouldn't ditch him for it. But as I said, I understand and each person is different.

You don't have to explain to me why you cut contact. I really do understand it. I'm just saying that I would personally react differently to it. For me, what kind of bond he has with his children is his business. I wouldn't talk about it. For example a few of my female friends sleep around a lot (including cheating on their boyfriend). Personally I'm absolutely disgusted by it. I've been cheated on before so I feel pretty strongly about it. But as long as they keep their adventures at night for themselves we won't have a problem. But really, you have that principle and you stick by it. I can only respect that.

That is good you where able to get in contact with them and have them now in your life. I won't be having that with my ex friend at all. We just don't talk to each other because of what he has done in his life and I kind of can't be friends with a person like that at all. Its just a life choice no matter how much I might want to talk with him or even meet up with him I just don't. I want to keep the 3 hour drive between us and not talk to each other at all. I just wish he'll go back to the old guy he was and not the new one. Nobody really likes the new him at all its not like him.

How am I wasting my time. There is always hope for something. I don't hope that we can be friend again or talk again. I just hope he returns to old men he was and goes back to being a father to his 3 sons vs not seeing them not wanting them and only wanting his step kids.

Ex-friend only we where never boyfriend and girl friend. I don't know why people are assuming we dated each other. It has nothing to do with me being married or him being married for that matter. We where friends before we where married the same as like my husband best friend she is a girl but she is engaged but we all get alone me and him and her. He choice to have nothing to do with his 3 sons after leaving his ex-wife and now with his new wife she doesn't even make him or tell him to see his kids and she is divorced her ex-husband and she lets him see her kids. So the only kids my best friend says he has is his step son and daughter. For me him saying that he has no sons it broke my heart as mom. I could never let my husband leave and he wouldn't just leave his daughter if we weren't together.

Me and my best friend didn't have that kind of friend relationship. I miss him but we both had our own partners and stuff.

lol okay well you made it sound like you two where loves you might want to be careful with that.

ShyBear88 , don't misunderstand.. hehe! I am a girl too. When I said she found someone, what I meant there was another so called "best friend" hehe!

No I haven't heard from him and if I did I would have told you first before saying anything back to him. If it was something good like he is now seeing his boys again and talking to them and in there life I would talk to him but he isn't. I know he isn't, I can see that from when I look online at his facebook. I also see that his realtionship with his wife isn't as good as he wants it to be they go through ups and downs every few weeks. He feels unworthy of her love and she kind of feels the same way about him as well. I think of him but not as much as I did right after we stopped talking to each other. Every now and then I think how is he doing, and I wonder more about his boys of course then him.

I try to remind myself of the same thing and that is what always stops me from saying anything to him or his friends that I'm friends with as well. I know he isn't going to change I hope he does for his children but I know he probably won't and when he is ready to it'll be way to late.

He was there for me when I need a friend and I was there for him when he need it as well. We aren't friends any more because of the fact that he doesn't want anything to do with his 3 sons any more after being in there life's for so many years. He wants everything to do with his step kids only. I couldn't just act like his little boys where never born or any thing and that he was never married before and stuff. He wants to live a lie that is fine with me but I can't be a friend for him when he wants to live that kind of life.

Those are totally different reason for why you two don't talk to each other. I don't talk to my ex friend for some really strong reasons as in he left his own children. As a mom that is not good. If he left and still saw and wanted his kids then we would still be friends but that's not the case.

I was the kid in high school that move away when I was 15 it sucked and I missed my friends a lot till I was back in school and busy as can be. The friend I lose wasn't at least because of moving away just because of differences that I couldn't deal with. To me he is not a man or father or even a husband. I have other friends they just live in different states none where we live now. But at least I have my husband and my daughter.

There is no talking out what he did. He doesn't feel he didn't anything wrong. When some says to me that after 3 years that 3 of his kids do not exsite and he was never married and never had kids with some other women and that his only kids are his step kids. That to me is not a men, a husband, father or friend of mine at all. I can't be friends with a person that is willing to walk out on his kids because he doesn't get along with his ex wife. I don't really want to be friends with him. I just want to be able to talk to him with out him feeling as those I'm threatening him or better then him because I have a better life, a better relationship not only with my partner but with my kids. I do have better friends that would never do what he has done. I just keep my distances I miss how things where not what they where. I miss that old person he use to be 3 years old and now I don't know what is wrong with him or anything. To me the person he is, is nothing. I worry more about his kids those 3 little boys that have no dad because there dad is being a selfish man and letting feelings for his ex wife get in the middle of it all. I don't think he is truly in a good relationship with the person he is with and I'm done telling him to not go fast don't jump into things. He stopped fighting for the things he cared along time ago. A really parent would never give up a fight for there children even if its just to see them.

We don't fight ever time we talk. I ever said every time we have talked in the past that we have fought. Now if I talk to him yes we could fight because of the fact one he wants nothing to do with his 3 sons that he had brought in to his world all over a women that he had them with and his new wife won't push him to be a father with his own kids but her own. I don't love to hate or hate to love its what he has done that I hate and I can't be friends with someone that would do that to his kids. I have a child I can't even see myself leaving my kids and not ever seeing them again or wanting to be a part of there life. I only miss talking to him I don't miss him in any other way. I miss being just able to tell him how I'm doing and whats going on in our lives. But he lied to way to many times done way to many things for me to even stay being a friend with him.

I dont miss the closeness or the bound just being able to tell things to each other.