it's not easy to forgive and forget.. _
By karstine29
@karstine29 (694)
Philippines
March 16, 2012 9:27pm CST
It has been 2 weeks and 4 days already since I had my last conversation with my younger sister. And I think that will be the last and longest conversation that we will have for the rest of our lives. I maybe bad and a person with so much pride. But I will never settle with her first. I can live without talking to her. I can even live without her. Yes, I am so mean but I just don't like her. She's so selfish, insensitive and disrespectful. She can't even realize my worth, my sacrifices for her. I have already made my decision and it would be final. I will not talk to her anymore!!
I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I just want to make this as the best decision for now. Maybe in time, I'll forget all the pain that I have felt. But I am not sure if that will be happening. _
11 responses
@KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
17 Mar 12
I know what you mean, my brother is like that. We haven't talked in 4 years. I had to sell my house because of him because he drowned me in debts. And I can say for sure that there is no turning back that road. There is no way I can forgive after all this. Some people say that friends can be better than relatives. In my case it is true. Only my parents and close friends give me support.
1 person likes this
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
@Kostas499. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Yeah, I am also a bit clingy to my friends but I am also closer to my mom and little brother. I know what you feel towards your brother and I know you can't really forgive and forget all the things that he has done. I am glad that your parents and friends are there to make you alive and inspired in everyday of your life. Keep it up dude!! Let's have a wonderful life and avoid life's stresses. They will only ruin us. In the end, what matters most is that you have become a better person who have done good in life. Though, you and you're brother are not okay, still continue loving all the people that supports you. :)
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
@suzukigirl1970. Yeah that's true. If you don't want your friendship or relationship to get broken, never borrow or lend something from each other. Unless, you are a person who never break promises. Never generalized.
@suzukigirl1970 (106)
•
17 Mar 12
A word to the wise, never a borrower nor a lender be, especially when it comes to family and close friends as it can only ever end in tears.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
When we are hurt and angry, we seem to think of not forgiving such person and that's understandable and natural.
But time heals the wound so they say. Specially that she is your sister, it will be inevitable that you will be able to forgive and forget whatever it is that she may have said to hurt you.
Meantime, maybe you should avoid her first, because the wound is still fresh.
Pray for your sister to finally come to her right senses.
1 person likes this
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Thanks for the advice. I highly appreciate it. You're right. The pain is still there and letting things to flow smoothly is the best thing for now. I do pray for her. I even ask forgiveness to the Lord for being so mean and inconsiderate one. However, I realized I should not only ask for forgiveness to the Lord but also to my sister. However, I don't want to do it first. She had hurt me so much and I just want to let my pride win at this time. I just want to make my sister feel how much she really mean to me. And I hope that incident would really change her into a good sister too. I just want to let her learn a lesson. And I am waiting for the moment that she could really realize my worth. Anyway, so much for that. Thanks again for the thoughts Simplyd. Have a great day ahead.. :)
@justinmusic7 (203)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 12
LOL! Family is the closest person in everyone life. No matter what happen, either fighting or arguing, everything can be deal. Don't be so emotional.
@justinmusic7 (203)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 12
Hmm...sorry if I'm making you mad. I felt 'LOL' as I experienced family problems too. But when I'm getting mature, I realized that too much fighting and argument with family is a waste of time. In the end, I still love them much. And I had already forgive them for things that they had done when I'm still a kid.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
I know right. There are really things that you cannot say. For you, this problem is too shallow. But for me it's not. And I just want to show how much I feel. I'm just sharing, just saying. For you it's easy to deal with all the arguments and misunderstanding of your family. Well, if the problem is not that big, why would I hate someone that much, right?? I just can't stand the first word of your post. Anyway, sorry for this shallow problem of mine Justinmusic7. I don't know if that is how you interpret my post but I can feel that it's so nonsense for you. You even LOL on it.. hmm?
@suzukigirl1970 (106)
•
17 Mar 12
Hopefully after your anger and upset has subsided you'll be able to have some sort of relationship with your sister again.
I remember many years ago my Dad had a falling out with his sister and because of this I didn't get to see my cousins for many years. Eventually, with the argument forgotten, they got back on speaking terms and now keep in regular contact with each other.
My only piece of advise, which I give to my children, is that we are not on this Earth for long and should grab all opportunities with both hands and try to forgive if we cannot forget.
I hope you manage to make things up again with your sister in time.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
I also wish for that to happen. I actually believe in the thought that we must not really take so much pride on ourselves. It will not make our lives better anyway. However, I just don't know how to patch things up. Maybe I am not ready yet. I just want to give time to myself. I just want to regain my worth. Thanks for the thoughts suzukigirl1970. It was highly appreciated. :)
@suzukigirl1970 (106)
•
18 Mar 12
You,re welcome and you're right, time can be a great healer. I really hope that things work out for you and your family.
@maratus (184)
• Indonesia
18 Mar 12
It's common that not easy to forgive and forget everything that ever hurt my feeling. We gonna memorize all off sad and happiness memories. Happy memories of course we gonna remember forever and all the time but sad thing however we already try so hard that's not easy to forget, we need time and only time can answer it. Like forgive also, it's easy to say but hard to do...,
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
You're right. Thanks for the thoughts Maratus. I really appreciate it. I have heard so much for this day. And to sum it up.. TIME HEAL ALL WOUNDS. Have a great day ahead. :)
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
You're right. But I think she is changing. I can see her small efforts in making our relationship good. But I don't know if I can forgive her already. I still want my pride to stand. I just want to learn how to leave something for myself. I want to regain my self-worth. Anyway, what's best now is to live my life beautifully. :) No stress and feeling so good everyday. At least it can make me feel better and good person. :)
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
You're right. But I think she is changing. I can see her small efforts in making our relationship good. But I don't know if I can forgive her already. I still want my pride to stand. I just want to learn how to leave something for myself. I want to regain my self-worth. Anyway, what's best now is to live my life beautifully. :) No stress and feeling so good everyday. At least it can make me feel better and a good person. :)
@Runite (307)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Keep waiting for her to change to a better person and try to help her out a bit but sometimes pride doesn't come before family, as for self-worth, you're more worthy than her if you gave things up to her if she hasn't been grateful for it. Live your life to the fullest, and don't let things hold you back.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Okey dude. Thanks for the wonderful thoughts!! I slightly appreciate it. :)
@nijolechu (1842)
• Canada
17 Mar 12
Yes, I have had that kind of fights with other members of my family. It really is nice to have a cooling off period and not talking with them. It is frustrating and kind of sad and not talking to them. Maybe with the time off with not communicating with them, you can maybe heal that relationship with them in the future.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
Yes, I agree with you Nijolechu. In time, I maybe get okay with her. May it be for months, years or decades. I don't know. But still I am open to the possibility. I just really want her to realize a lot of things. Thanks for your thoughts and for the experiences you have just shared. I highly appreciate it. :)
@xiaohongxiaohong (340)
•
17 Mar 12
I totally agree with you! I have a older sister. She is very selffish, she is so mean to me , take something belong to me, like force my mother not to show her love to me in front of her face! She never take my advices that I just want everyone can get a fair treat. What's wrose, she think she is the best sister in the world, she can easily fogive my fault! But I never felt it! And no one felt it!She didn't buy clothes for me, never give money to me for buying what I like.But it doesn't matter, I don't care. Cause when she help you just a little thing, she feels she is a very great person, and you have to thanks to her again and again. When I was a little girl, she ofen beat me by no reason. I was so unlucky to have a sister like her. She just like herself, and never think about others.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
I feel so bad for your experience. I am the eldest of my two siblings but I do not act like your older sister. I don't know if you would want to forgive her for being that. But one thing I would wish is that your older sister could realize how was she as a sister to you. I can feel that she's insensitive. I think what's better now is that you must not imitate her. Be someone that is far from the attitude that your older sister has.
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
I also do not know if it is the right thing for you to do now. Family must stick together. I know it is not easy to forgive and forget. I do forgive but I do not forget easily. But I do not know if that will apply also with family members becuase we have not been into any major fights with my siblings. But just an advise, when you are no longer angry. Please rethink your decision. It is hard to patch things up with family members but it is never good to burn bridges especially with your family. But if you really cant stand her anymore, keep it neutral. I do agree that some personalities seems to clash. Pride will indeed play a part in some situation so keep your distance.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Yes. That's definitely true. Me and my sister really have different personalities. She likes to spend a lot of money and fulfill all her desires. She's a spoiled brat!! But I am not. That's our problem most of the time. And I so hate her every time she's dreaming of something that my Mom could not afford. I hope that she could realize one day that earning a lot of money is so hard. Anyway, so much for that. Thanks for the thoughts Dazzlelady. I highly appreciate it. :)
@hello_kitty1981 (44)
•
17 Mar 12
Maybe in the right time, you two will be ok. You guys need to have space, freedom, & more understanding to each other. What ever you do she still your sister. And family should help each other for sickness & health. But that's not mean that you give it all 100% without leaving any 5% for your self.
@karstine29 (694)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
Yeah I get your point. I should really leave something for myself. This maybe the reason why I keep my pride on. At least at this time, I'll be able to regain my self-worth. Time may heal all wounds. But I hope that when we will forgive each other already, the time would not be short.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it. :)
