I'm sorry....that's all I wanted to hear
By success1625
@success1625 (533)
Trinidad And Tobago
March 17, 2012 11:41pm CST
Years ago I was in relationship with someone who was verbally abusive to me.
I was a very committed christian, involved in church, I spoke and strived to live holiness and righteousness, my language was clean, I was very subdued in my mannerisms.
He was into church too, not as strong as I was and would cuss me out and disrespect me in spite of my many requests for him to stop.
When we parted ways I became a bitter individual, very crass in my speech, I no longer attended church or involved myself in spiritual acitvities. I became aggressive,coarse,harsh,cold to some extent heartless and unconcerned.
After we parted ways, we would speak from time to time, and each time the conversations ended bitterly,one time he cussed me out & hung up the phone abruptly on me. I felt so dejected and bruised emotionally.
Tonight, after many years of not speaking to each other, he calls me a changed man,he claims.
He's started going to church more seriously and changed his life around.
Well guess who did the abusing tonight,the cussing,the disrespecting that's right me and guess who asked me to tone down my language, was calm,subdued and speaking holiness and righteuosness that's right him.
I must admit I heard a difference in his tone and mannerism of speech. I was taken aback,at how different he sounded.
What followed next left me speechless,he said "you've changed,how come?" I replied "you contributed to that change" he then said "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,please forgive me for hurting you."
I cried, and felt a release. I hadn't forgiven him all these years, and now that he acknowledged his wrong I guess he released me and it felt good.
It's amazing what hearing "I'm sorry" can do and it's amazing the relief it brings.
2 people like this
15 responses
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
In most of the arguments, quarrels, and/or heated discussions I have with my girlfriend, I usually am the one who gets to apologize. There are situations where she would apologize and after that I just feel okay, but what really gets me off is at several times, when I apologize, she just says okay and still acts bitterly. She makes it look like I have committed a heinous crime, although in some of those occasions I would have been happier if I was the one receiving the apology. I just feel sad how it is so easy for me to forgive her and be back to happy while it's not the same for her. I guess it's just how she is, and somehow I have grown accustomed to it.
I am a person always willing to forgive as long as I see or feel the sincerity of the apology. I don't like having bad feelings against other, and I prefer others not to have the same with me.
Now that this person has changed and apologized to you, I think it made you start thinking about going back to the person you were before, didn't it? I'm happy you are somehow released from this chain of the past.
1 person likes this
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Thanks sweetie I'm glad to have been able to get the release from the hurt an pain as well, but I've got a newsflash for you we women are notorious for holding on to "grudges".
It's this innate quality we have to hold on and act out. So take a little comfort in knowing it's not just her and you've alot of that to look forward to, unless she herself deceides to change that way about her :)
@urbandekay (18278)
•
18 Mar 12
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
all the best urban
1 person likes this
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Amen and thanks for the word. You be blessed my friend. :)
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Hi Success!
Whenever me and my friends argue, we never apologize. I guess apologies were never needed because those are petty stuff and that they always find a way to apologize in forms of moral support. To me, they didnt have to spell it out.
But if i were in a relationship which had my heart really broken, i think that that sincere apologies really do matter. Not everyone has the guts to say them. It takes courage and a lot of humility to apologize.
I am so happy for you.
1 person likes this
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Hi grace, yes that's so true, and I daresay he really stepped up to the plate as they say and aplogized. Thanks my dear, I too am happy for the way things turned out.
@sanofer (525)
• India
18 Mar 12
I am sorry is the magical word which can bring the happiness after a long time and it happens in your life too. being religious will surely change a harsh and rude person into a calm person and that guy has changed too. he realized his mistake and hope that sorry brought you a big relief and amazing changes in your life.
1 person likes this
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Yes it truly is. I never would've imagined that those two words could be so life changing.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
18 Mar 12
It only take a few words to change everything, I am glad that you are able to overcome what happened to you sometimes back. This is what you have been waiting for a long time and since it has happened now, I wish you could be able to move on and forget that person who wronged you.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Oh trust and believe I will move on.
For years I allowed myself to be wieghted down by what happened, it changed me, my personality and turned me into someone I really didn't want to be, so I do intend to move on my dear. Thanks for your kind words.
@sherrybelle (707)
• United States
18 Mar 12
It all sounds like progress; his apology and your ability to forgive. I'm happy for you and regardless of what happens with him in the future...
it seems like an opportunity to move forward with love and kindness in your heart and his. I wish you both the best!
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Thanks for your kind words my dear. I can exhale and move on from this portion of my life.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
I remember my husband during our early years of marriage whom I can't hear apologizing too every time there's a little misunderstanding. One time I ask him, why is it that you don't know how to say, sorry, he just laughed saying, "Ma once I talk to you after misunderstanding that means "I'm sorry" already. I just listened but for me It's much sweeter and lovely to hear anyone of us saying "I'm sorry" once we realize we'd done or we're wrong.
1 person likes this
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
Now i felt guilty with my partner because I believe I verbally abused him. But I cannot blame myself because it is my personality and I cannot control my self anymore. I feel so sorry for him because despite of what I had done, he is still there for me, he never leaves me. I think your post is an eye opener for me.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
Well I'm glad that my post was an eye opener for you hon, but I just have to say if you really want to control how you relate to him and your personality, you can,people can change if they really want to and you have to want to do it.
Don't let him get away, if he's as sweet as you say, he's a gem. I don't know too many guys who are willing to put up with crap, they easily shrug the woman off and move on to the next one, but he's sticking it out with you which is great.
Don't lose him because you may be to stubborn to change, hold on to your guy, 'cause take it from someone who knows what a bad guy is like, your guy sounds really great, he sounds like a keeper. :) Best of luck to the both of you
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Yeah, sometimes hearing phrases can give you a big release, especially when you're waiting for that phrase to be uttered for a long time now. I've actually had the same experience. When my mom said "Dinner is ready!", I also felt that big release.
1 person likes this
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
The sincerity of apologizing really does relieve anguish in our hearts. Having realized the fault and guilt, and admitting them would be quite remarkable.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85275)
• Valdosta, Georgia
21 Jun 12
I had the same type of thing happen to me. My youth pastor was so wrong to me. He called me a liar, and made fun of people I hung around. He was telling people I was abused by my parents. He was just not the "Christian" he was supposed to be...I felt so small when around him, so unimportant. I have a good singing voice and he told me I couldn't be in their band because I wasn't happy enough around other people. He was just really mean and rude to me.
I wish he would apologize to me, even after all these years. It would make me feel much better. I know that will not happen though he has had plenty of opportunities. I almost want to message him and tell him what a good woman I turned out to be, the one who he thought would never amount to anything...But I don't think that will help anything, he will probably say another rude comment and I will be hurt all over again.
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
18 Mar 12
I'm happy to hear that he admitted his fault and apologized to you and that it made you feel better and the relief it gave to you. You did not deserve that verbal abuse and the emotional trauma you have been through at his hands. Whatever has happened in the past cannot be reversed but at least you got the apology you deserved...
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Mar 12
That I did, after so many years of hurting. Thanks for your kind words :)
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Yes sometimes it only needs a sorry to make things better if we have been hurt. It is finally good that both of you was able to talk and be able to put a formal closure to it. I bet you really feel godd and light now that it is finally over. And you have put the past behind you. It is also nice for the guy to realize that he did you wrong and be able to say sorry. It may took a little longer but he did and I think that's what matters the most.
1 person likes this
@Vvance (280)
• United States
18 Mar 12
A change of mannerisms can drastically affect one's life as well as his surroundings. An optimistic person is more likely to make everyone around him cheerful just like him compared to an average or a pessimistic person. I always follow the motto "Forgive and Forget". It's better to forget rather than keep a grudge or crave some sort of revenge. Your life just worsens with such irrational things in your life. The man you refer to probably understood the error of his ways but it was too late. It spread to you and you wanted to return the same attitude to him. So, now, you can reform and enjoy your life with the newly reformed man who you can really love. It'll feel much better now that you too have more similarities as well as pretty good attitudes! :D
1 person likes this
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
21 Jun 12
Wow you held on to that pain till the day he said I am sorry. I think I totally understand you and if I was you I would give him another chance after all it is God who said we forgive 7*7*7*7*7 times
