Guilt is eating her up!

I think she shouldn't. Thirty years is a long time, and if this was an affair that only lasted for a short time, it doesn't worth to tell this now to her husband. I don't know how will react her husband if she tells him about this story, but perhaps he will feel upset and uncomfortable. And probably she couldn't be free of guilt feelings. If she has strong guilt feelings and is a believer she could ask for forgiven at God and perhaps she will find the peace she is looking for.

She should not tell him. She can tell it to God and ask for His forgiveness. And He will. If she told her husband, he might not see her in the same light again. I would keep it quiet. Who knows? Her husband might have already known and because of his love for her has kept quiet all these years.

OMG! I can't believe after all this time it has to be brought up. I believe it would totally have to do with what type of relationship they have. Is he secure in the relationship at this time? If so, she should know how he would take it. If he is insecure, I believe I would keep it to myself after all this time. If it would just hurt him and hurt their relationship after all this time, I don't believe there is any good reason why it should be spoken of now. If she's kept it to herself all this time, she can continue.

It is absolutly absurd that she should give a great pain to her husband. She will mend nothing and everything happened so long ago that it is not worth mentioning it now as it surely had no influence in her marriage and life if she is still married. If she wants to confess, let her go to a priest

This is the answer to your question. “Should she?” – Yes and no. The grandmother should tell him the truth if she could not hold back her conscience, but she should accept the consequences of her actions or she could also forget the guilt feelings deep within her by praying to God if she is so afraid to tell him the truth, then forget the past and be a good wife to her husband. She is already 60 years old. We should not go back from the past. We should move on, not stay on the past forever. The word “guilt” is a negative feeling. It is not healthy at all. There are pros and cons. If the grandmother tells the truth to her husband, she must suffer the consequences, because the husband might not trust his wife again or he would do what the grandmother did and she should accept the consequences if she has guts to take that risk. Another is, if the grandmother does not want to tell the truth, then she is the one who going to suffer – deeply and emotionally. Well, if that would be the case, if she has guts to clear her conscience, that would be fine but being a Christian believer, I think there is no teachings about ‘meditation’ in the doctrine. The doctrine in Christian only teaches about laws of God. I am not so sure. I think they have also Christian meditation but it differs from other meditation, like Buddhism. I have a little knowledge in Buddhism. Buddhism practice meditation to clear our conscience and stop the fears, lessen the suffering that burden within us and have a positive perspective in life. Anyway, the grandmother should choose what is the best for her, what she thinks is right and what is healthy for her…… but…… I said, but…… she must suffer the consequences. It is very easy for us to choose what is right and wrong, but the reason why it is so difficult to decide is because of the consequences.

If it happened to me, I would rather keep it myself than create a big trouble. :-(

Some things need to be keep as secrets and this is one of those things. That was years ago. Even that man probably didn't remember her anymore. I don't see the point of bringing it up, especially at her age where she should be living happily with her family instead of raising awkward feelings. What happen in the past just let it be in the past. Besides, when it need to keep a happy marriage, sometimes just keep this kind of thing as a secret. People makes mistakes.

lol..guilt after 30 years ????...Sating this to her husband will relieve her off he guilt and especially when old people would like to be relieved off their guilt because they are nearing their path to god.Bu at the same time,it might create some problem with her family now.If the husband is understanding and caring enough,he would understand her since she has left that love for over 30 years now.If the other things happened,it would not look nice.It's up to her to decide as she know about husband well.

In my opinion, if i were her, i will not let my husband know about it anymore. It's a very far place from where they are and there's no way that it could be discovered by her husband. So, why break the heart of his husband after all those years?

Not that I'm very experienced in romantic relationships. However, I believe that in a love relation, loyalty is the heart of a relationship. In my opinion should not be allowed betrayals although sometimes it could happen to become victims of so-called "lightning strike". Speaking of the case that you described, I believe that this person would do well to talk with her partner and especially to apologize.

She should tell his husband about it. It will relieve her of her guilt. But she should be ready for the consequences. Remember that there is no secret that is kept forever secret. So it is better that she will be the one that will reveal it to her husband rather than her husband knowing this from other person.

I think there was a good reason why she fall in love with that person. I also think there is no reason to feel quilty about it or tell her husband. It's the past and a long time ago. Also I am sure (even if her husband does not admit it) he did some things too in the past she doesn't know about. Life is a journey, our personal journey. We have to get life experiences with and without other people. At that time there was a reason and she also decided not to meet again, to let it go. So it was (for her) a wise thing to do. She should be happy and satisfied with that and proud she choose for her husband (again) for so many years.

I think she just have to leave it behind. She has already kept it for 30years so I believe it's not good to bring it up 'coz it would only cause pain and trouble to her family. She just have to forget it and take their promise not to meet and communicate with each other again.

In order to get out of guilty feeling its better to tell her husband the fact associated in her life.Hopefully her husband will understand everything and give respect to her feelings.

hi toniganzon no I do not think she should tell him as its m uch t oo late. Why u pset her her husband and anger him over something that far back She should forgive herself and be glad she had the sense to break it off and come home to a loving husband and strive to make their even better. In time she will forget the man who was cheating his own wife too.So being extra kind to her husband wiil pay rff in the long run . so h

Well she want to before she die so she can go ahead . If I was her age I would too .. Some times it weird how people are so quick to sleep with strangers ,.

It is better be left unsaid. It is part of her past now. She must move on and leave it in the past.

At this stage of the game it is not worth it. Believe me. They are to old to deal with this stuff now. But if she was in love with that other guy, then she has been living a lie all these years. She should have told her husband 30 years ago when he could have changed his life if thats what he chose. But now it seems to be a total waste of time. She would be destroying someone else's life and he would resent her for the rest of his life.

All I can say is that, why for all of the years have passed, why now she felt guilty? mean, it has been a long time already. If she is feeling guilty then she should let it out. Telling it to her husband and family would be very hard.

she should tell her husband about that..it's the only way not to feel the guilt anymore..but she must be ready on the consequences she did..her husband will surely be hurt about the truth, even though it was so long ago..