How to you handle break ups?
By mystique021
@mystique021 (3)
Philippines
March 18, 2012 9:37pm CST
Me and my boyfriend broke up recently.. I don't really feel that bad about it since that's what he really wanted and I don't feel the love anymore. I can't push myself to someone who can't love me back. But there's this feeling inside that is asking for a reason why. We did manage to talk about the break up but it didn't ended up quite good enough for a good closure. I kept myself busy and I tried things to get it off my mind but still not working. My curiosity sometimes are getting so intense but I know I have to let it go and if I tried to dig something deeper from him I will get myself hurt. I know I've been so good to him that I don't nag, I never get too jealous and I tried my best to be more understanding and supportive to him, he often even say that you're a good partner, not the kind of girl you can find now a days but still I didn't keep the relationship.
So here's the question that been bothering me.. When a guy said to you that there's nothing wrong with you and it was his fault, does it really mean he's saying the truth or he just don't want to hurt your feelings because you are not too good enough for him?
2 people like this
10 responses
@florizel (58)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
You know almost all men ended up with their girl saying those things that the problem is not with you, that you are so good, for you not to hurt so much. But the real reason is they already found another, someone who interest them more. Anyway, don't waste your life loving someone who don't deserve your love. Time will come you will find someone better and you will only laugh about your ex.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
19 Mar 12
I 100% agree with Florizel! That's how game of love is all about. You will laugh at the end. Very straight answer.
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
29 Jun 12
There is no one proper way to deal with break ups. People differ in the way to handle break ups. For instance there are those who prefer to drink themselves silly almost every night hoping to forget the hear break. Others handle it with silence and keeping to themselves but most people pretend everything is okay and hurt continously and daily until one day time heals their heart.
@autumndreamer (3185)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
When a guy says there's nothing wrong with you and it's his fault, believe him. It's the truth. If you're not good enough for him, you wouldn't last long in the relationship but it seems that you had a happy and loving relationship together. Maybe something has changed in him. Whatever his reason, it's not your fault. And he made it clear that it's not your fault and I believe guys who says that. It just means they changed or they have a problem that makes you better off without him.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
19 Mar 12
Sorry to hear about your break-up. But sometimes there are things that is really hard to explain. Maybe your boyfriend is saying the truth that there's nothing wrong with you and it's his fault but also on the other side he probably said that too because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Guys will be guys. They have their ways of breaking up with their girlfriends. As you said you are a good girlfriend and because of that he has no right to hurt your feelings. So he makes himself bad and not worthy on your relationship.
You know what, it wasn't your lost but his. If I were you I will try to move on even if it is hard. If you were meant to be, he will comes back. If not then let him go and be free from this feelings you have right now. Make yourself busy so you will not think about him. Divert yourself to your passion.
You will still find someone else more worthy than him. As they said you shouldn't look or find for destiny. Let destiny finds you! :)
@sahlifame (32)
•
19 Mar 12
seems like you're not in a moving on mode..you should..you have your own life..just stop thinking about the past..there'so many fishes in the oceans.his just not for you..maybe not your destiny..
@tagakolo (46)
• United States
19 Mar 12
It does not mean that your not good enough.I think he is looking for something that he dont even know.Dont blame your self for the break up,as he had said;it all his fault.What you can from now on is to move on,it's all over with and going back to were you before in that particular relationship only hurts your self.Maybe he is not the person for you to spend the rest of your life with.Keep your self busy,do something that you enjoy doing with your friends,avoid being alone and listening to sad music.Think of possitive things.If you still hurting,dont worry sometimes it takes time to heal a broken heart.If you need to cry,just cry out loud as long nobody gonna hear you.I've been to that kid of a situation before and actually it takes more than a year for me to recover.But you will get there.What you have feel right now is normal.
@lakerfanster (2577)
•
19 Mar 12
Seek help from those around you like friends or relatives who you get on with and who will help you either get over someone or help you move on from them in some way.
@angelgee14 (462)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
I want to answer your question but I just can't. I am also in a rocky relationship right now. I do not know whether it is me who's having the problem or I am just making the situation worse.
They say, when a guy said "goodbye" in a relationship, he always want to make it light. He won't blame you so you won't be hurt. I am not sure, maybe for some guys since some guys hurts the one they love especially the cheaters.
Maybe your case is a different one. Maybe he is telling the truth, that the problem is in him and not in you. However, if you feel that the relationship is not worth keeping for, what's the use of staying right? The right thing to do is to have some space, a break-up or cool off might help. Who knows, if love is true...it will come flying back to you.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
19 Mar 12
Sorry for what you are going through. I think it was just because he felt that you were not compartible. You may have been the best woman but still his heart was not to be with you. It is good that he was frank enough to break up with you rather than lying/cheating on you.
To go back to your main question about how to handle breakups. Here is a few things that can help you to move on; First, accept that you have been hurt by someone and give your self sometimes to go through that pain.
Second, get rid of everything that remind you of him. This would be gifts, emails or deleting him as your friends from social networks like Facebook.
Third, accept that the relationship is over and works toward forgiving him for what he did to you. You can only be able to move on if you are able to forgive.
Fourth, do not be in a hurry, give yourself time to get over the breakup and soon you will be able to find yourself falling in love again. I wish you well.
