Child Discipline - Spanking Acceptable form of Discipline?

Very hard words, Sherrybelle. Abuse??? Sorry, but there is really a big difference between spanking and abuse, even in the mind of a child, and I am speaking as one who were both spanked and abused in childhood. I never looked and I still never look at spanking as abuse, because every time my parents spanked me, I knew why they did it and how I deserved it, and what was the purpose of it. I don´t consider spanking as the best way to discipline a child, but also, I don´t see it as an abuse either. A child is abused physically or mentally when he/she is punished or maltreated with no reason, with no purpose and abuse always refers to manipulation as well. If my child runs out to the street, I run after her and spank her right there, because it is better for her that I spank her than a car to hit her (she is four, she doesn´t yet understand the danger of traffic). I also tell her why she is spanked, and also, she never does it again. Abuse is when a parent punish the child for something stupid, for example, if a child breaks something accidentally, it is not good to punish the kid physically because the thing he/she broke cannot be more valuable than the kid. That can give a child some "baggage" later. You have to be more careful, Sherrybelle. Children at two, three or four cannot understand everything they are told, and just like with puppies, they need to be spanked once in a while in order to learn the lesson in easier way. I told my daughter twenty times (or more) not to run out in the street because a car can hit her, but nevertheless, she kept doing it. Not because she is bad, but because she just couldn´t understand the danger. Should I have let her learn that particular lesson in a harder way? Should I have let her run out in the street, so that a car can hit her, so that she can finally understand the danger??? No, absolutely not. I had to catch her, and spank her, and so she could understand once and for all that running out in the street can hurt. Spanking hurt her much less than a car hit, right? My point is, spank a child only when he/she knows why you do it, only when there is no other way to explain the danger to the child, and not for every single mistake they could make. There are much better ways to discipline a child than spanking, but sometimes, if you have to choose between spanking and something more dangerous, the choice is clear. It is very important that a child understands why he/she was spanked. Without that understanding, a child might have problems with it.

I'm sorry Polgara, but either way, spanking is not a kind education either. And you compare your child to puppies. I don't think they're the same. My father used to spank me and my brothers when we disobeyed his rules. He would spank us with his hand, with a stick, or belt. That time he made scared of making him angry. But as you said, we're just children. As I grew up, I came to the understanding that that's they way my father EDUCATE us. He educated us to be discipline. I know I don't have my own children yet, but I have this kind of thought that I would educate my children the way my parents taught me, but without any physical attacks. And apparently, my brother also has the same thoughts. He has a six year-old daughter now, and he never even once spanks her. Not even my sister-in-law. My brother and his wife uses communication to educate her daughter. This is what my mom used when she educated us. And apparently this way works so much better. As I don't have any children yet, I use my mom's skill to my little students. I never spank nor hit my students. I use words, I make rules. I'm so strict with my rules, and yet my students obey them. When I call their names, they know they have made mistakes. My brother also does it to my niece and she grows very well until now. She even understands why her parents forbids her to do something. All of that without any spanks. :P

My mother-in-law vowed she would never spank her children and then my husband was born. Here are just a couple of incidents where she rethought her vow. Incident 1: He decided his little slingshot would be put to best use in the house, taking shots at his mother's very valuable lamps which she had put high up on the mantle to get away from him. Shattered both before she got into the room to stop him. She scolded him and he decided she made a great target. Then he ripped up her favorite magazine all over the floor. She grabbed his hands and bent him over to pick up the pieces. He grabbed a couple of them and when she let him go, he dropped them and ran out through the kitchen, where he opened the refrigerator and tossed all its contents at Mommy. Incident 2: They went to visit his grandparents. Grandpa was a carpenter and he let Bruce help him on a project. He failed to realize that the little hammer he gave him disappeared when Bruce did. Mom put son to bed for a nap. Once downstairs she heard a pounding coming from upstairs where sonny boy was. She ran up to check; he was snuggled under a blanket 'asleep.' She continued back downstairs; the noise began again. Over and over, she tried to catch him doing something, but he always seemed asleep. The noise stopped. A little while later a neighbor stopped in to find out why they were throwing bedding, twin mattress, lamps and other things out the upstairs window. The hammer had been used on all the furniture sides facing away from the door. Want to guess who was doing it? He definitely got a spanking. Then Aunt Gladys swore she would never have a child as rotten as Bruce. She didn't. Kent was so much worse!

spanking is the right way to correct a child look in the Bible.

I could always talk to my mom about anything, including anything happening on dates and she was the first to spank us if we did wrong. She used switches from a hedge bush. She always let us know what we had done and never raised her hand in anger. We understood exactly what we did wrong and it had to be pretty bad to get Mama upset. I never once thought of it as abuse and always knew when I was doing something that would result in a spanking. The physical punishments were few and far between because after a meeting with that switch we didn't want another. I figure I averaged about one a year which allowed about twelve months to think up something worthy of a spanking again.

^^ I meant to say 'After that, our parents made sure though what offense or bad attitude we exhibited during chastising us.