Would you ever take back your boyfriend or husband who has cheated on you?
By chloe1055
@chloe1055 (21)
Philippines
42 responses
@yuriyang (70)
• United States
13 Apr 12
Yes, girls are easy to manipulate because we are sensitive. I know because I'm a girl and I've was in a relationship where my ex cheated on me multiple times and I still took him back. I knew i shouldn't but I did because I was too deeply in love with him.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
21 Mar 12
Someone asked this question of me some time ago, and this was my response, if he cheated, came to me and confessed,did an HIV test, is fully repentant about what he did and is making every effort to make ammends for the error of his ways, then yes I would take him back.
Trust admittedmly would be an issue, but I'm guessing that with passage of time, it'll get better.
If however, he was caught, said he's sorry but is insincere about it, returning to his old habits,not making any effort and showing signs that he could possibly revert to cheating then he's gone.
I was further asked how would I know if he's being sincere or not, intuition. It's a GOD given alarm system in a woman and we neglect oftentimes to use it.
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
23 Mar 12
First of all, I don't think it is normal to cheat and I think that is like saying it is okay and the woman shouldn't be hurt. I think that is wrong! I don't think I would take him back. A good relationship is based on trust and I could never trust him again.
@babytaffster (2232)
• Chatsworth, California
24 Mar 12
People falter. Maybe multiply times. I'm not saying it's good, it's not. But I think with just about everything in life it's not the what it's the why.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
24 Mar 12
I think it is normal to be tempted, but if your relationship means anything to you, you shouldn't want to take the chance of hurting your partner and should resist temptation.
@kccrystalsachi (117)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
I was the one who cheated once...and yes, he took me back. We were back then "ex's" who is now literally just happily married with an only daughter who is now 4yrs old but is just so responsible for her age and is going to graduate soon with flying colors. My lovelife is just so colorful --- with a mixture of downfall in the past but right now, it's just something I can really say that it's for KEEPS.
So, I'm not against into those who said they'd never take a cheater back as I was one of those who cheated but being one, he knew I deserved a second chance. And now, I'm one loyal and such a sweet wife to him. He never had regrets when he really decided to have me back despite what I did. True love and yes, UNCONDITIONAL, that is.:-)
@kccrystalsachi (117)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Exactly! very well said, bonding2. The devil you know will always be better than the angel you don't know... And open communication between the relationship, friendship, despite the break-up before really helped us grow and solved the issues that went on. And now, we're just happy, Inseperable!
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
21 Mar 12
you did the right thing ,we are not perfect and i believe strongly that everybody deserves a second chance ,it all depends on how remorseful the person is and how he /she ask for forgiveness. The devil you know will always be better than the angel you Don't know
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Mar 12
No I would never take back my husband if he ever cheats on me. I don't think I could ever be able to trust him again after that. We would be going to court and settling who has the kids and set up when whom has them when.
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
21 Mar 12
then you get another guy the same-thing happens or this time around you are the one that cheated ,and what makes you think you are cheat proof.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Mar 12
If I keep picking the same kind of men then I need to change my likes in guys to find someone that won't cheat. I never said that I was cheat proof I wouldn't stand to be with a guy that would keep doing it over and over again. My husband knows that if he ever cheats I'm not coming back its the end of the relationship there is nothing he can say or do and he would do the same if I was the one that cheated. Which I would never do and I know he would never cheat he has seen what that did to his family and he doesn't want our daughter to go through that and he doesn't want our new baby to go through all that either. We both don't believe in divorce but if he cheats I would divorce him in a heartbeat.
I can't be with someone that I don't trust and that I probably will never trust every again. Why would I want to keep bring my kids through that kind of relationship and letting them watch there mom get hurt over and over again. That would be stupid of me to keep going for the same guys or staying with the same guy because of it.
Don't be turning to spin things on people cause you make it sound like I'm the kind of person that is better then anyone else. Nope my life is not perfect and people do stupid things but I wouldn't fall for the same thing over and over again. I have to put trust in the person that I'm with that he won't hurt me and that I won't hurt them and that in the end it would hurt our children.
I answered your question there is nothing more to the answer its easy I would leave I'll its clear that he doesn't want me but other women. I'll see him in court for our kids.
@babytaffster (2232)
• Chatsworth, California
24 Mar 12
Really? What about Leukemia? Wouldn't that be worse than cheating?
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
29 Mar 12
Boyfriend no; husband yes. Even though he broke his vows you both made vows for better or worse. You have to try and work things out. If he won't then he will have to be the one to go.
It just shows that you have to know someone really well before you take that marriage step and you have to know that in times of trouble the two of you can talk things over and work things out. You want someone who is honest and loyal and who is likely to re,main true to you too. And you have to be the same for him.
@babytaffster (2232)
• Chatsworth, California
26 Mar 12
If he occasionly hooks up with another girl I'm ok with it. As long as he tells me (and he is safe about it) then I would take him back each time. That being said, I would absolutly not be ok with it if it was 6 days a week, every week. Then I would have one day with him making me just another one of his girls. If it happened once (or twice depending on the situation) I would take him back. There would not be a third chance.
@humairaku (2038)
• Indonesia
21 Mar 12
I think I'm like you, friend. I always try to be loyal to my spouse so if he cheats on me I can't take it at all. My heart will be very very hurt and I will be very very sad too. It's not easy for me to forgive someone who hurts me, especially my special one. If he cheats on me, I will let him go cos I will never be able again to live as nothing happened. I'm little selfish maybe, but I can't hold myself if my spouse cheats on me.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
22 Mar 12
I honestly don't think this is true at all. Just because it's in print wouldn't make me believe it! After 30 years of marriage my husband still knows he's a bad liar so he doesn't even try. He doesn't even recognize when another woman is making advances! That happened right in front of me! When I teased him about it he had absolutely no clue what had just happened. He's been this way since birth I heard.
I wonder if the author of that book was trying to gain an audience, primarily male. Then there's me; I once heard a famous actor/stand up comedian say, "Every woman has a skeleton in their closet. EVERY woman". Again, I disagree.
@pandora22 (868)
• Romania
29 Mar 12
Absolutely not.I usually believe in offering second chances to people but not in this case.I believe that if they did it once the road to second time is more than opened.No matter how big are the promises there is a high risk to get cheated again.It is the same with the men who are hitting women.if he hits you once be sure that the second will come,no matter how sorry he pretends he is.
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
4 Jul 12
I don’t think I can give him a chance. He broke my trust. I believe in the saying that “TRUST is like a glass; once it is broken it can never be fixed.” Aside from that, if I will take him back there is a gap already between us and it’s not the same anymore. Better end the relationship because it’s not going to work out.
@ECH107 (108)
• Austria
29 Jun 12
I don't care what people claim to be "normal." I would never tolerate anybody cheating on me. It's disrespectful and makes me feel terrible about myself. Don't let someone convince you that disloyalty is something you have to accept. You can do so much better than that.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
23 Mar 12
Hi chloe,
I don't think guys normally cheat girls. May be some boys can cheat girls. Guys should not be generalize as cheater. Some girl may cheat boys. For that T can't say girls are cheaters. In love boys are more emotional than girls.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
22 Mar 12
This would certainly be a difficult decision to have to make. I believe if there really was love for my boyfriend or husband i would have to take them back even if they cheated. We are not perfect peple by any means. We will all make many mistakes in our livers. i believe that everyone deserves the secind chance ti prove themselves worthy of love and being loved.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
22 Mar 12
I would take him back if I can do the same to him , so, we will be even. I will understand him if he is bored, I would like to do the same. But, my husband wouldnt do that . too bad , jajajaj. Have a good day .
@trinkabelle (432)
•
22 Mar 12
nope, never, even if people say they do believe in second chances, this is only another doorway for them to do it again, as much as it would hurt, i would never take them back, once bitten twice shy, no, i would never have a cheat in my life, it's all to do with trust and that trust will be gone so i will not sit at home worrying about where he is and who he's with
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
22 Mar 12
I think it's men that naturally want to experience many women but when they get married they take marriage vows that they should keep. I think that if you don't have fidelty and trust in your marriage you break your vows and don't have a marriage. If you're just dating someone and someone in the relationship cheats that should be enough to end it. A person must draw the line somewhere. It's where I would.
