Marriage should be based on.....

I think there is also a moment you should admit that it's a big mistake. That you have to quit instead of making your life and someone else his life miserable. It takes courage to admit that and to start all over again. I also think that if you don't know what the reasons are or might be you have no right to speak. And even if you know those reasons you are still not into that situation so it's not up to you. I think you should only bother about your own life, your own relationships with other people. That is your responsibility. Also it's your responsibility to make the best out of your life and this is the same with other people.

I think a lot of people jump into marriage without giving it proper consideration first, and so many just look no further than the wedding day and the celebration, forgetting that they will be living their lives together afterwards. However, I think even when two people do marry after having taken everything into consideration and are absolutely 100% sure they are right for one another, after some years they may find themelves growing apart, or perhaps they find that their relationship living together is completely different to what it was when they were dating.

That is a good point. I agree with you fully. I am the same way it really bothers me when you see those that have been married for 20 to 25 years and now the kids are gone. They are going through a mid life crisis. Why get married if you are not in it for a life time. My mom always told me "the grass is not always greener on the other side". I truly believe that. My first marriage my husband ran off after I left for the military divorced after 6 months( he had a nervous breakdown and now seeking mental help). My second husband wanted to party instead of being a husband and father divorced after 8 years(he has been serving time in jail for the last 9 years). I told my current and last husband we are in this for life and he would have to kill me to get rid of me because I am not going anywhere(I took time to pray for this marriage). You don't have to be a dreamer to want a good relationship and to do it right. We should all have standards and want a good life with your soul mate.

That is a good point. I agree with you fully. I am the same way it really bothers me when you see those that have been married for 20 to 25 years and now the kids are gone. They are going through a mid life crisis. Why get married if you are not in it for a life time. My mom always told me "the grass is not always greener on the other side". I truly believe that. My first marriage my husband ran off after I left for the military( he had a nervous breakdown and now seeking mental help). My second husband wanted to party instead of being a husband and father(he has been serving time in jail for the last 9 years). I told my husband we are in this for life and he would have to kill me to get rid of me because I am not going anywhere. You don't have to be a dreamer to want a good relationship and to do it right. We should all have standards and want a good life with your soul mate.

Marriages were usually for political reasons for quite a while until we entered this modern age I would say. :S

Trust,love and hopes for the future is main three element in the marriage life.Without these elements it will never work moreover the couples should have basic qualities to please one another like Forgiveness acceptance Support to one another Respect Patience Mutual understanding

Yes a bit of maturity and financial stability helps but I believe true love between the two and I don't mean lust ao the love of being a bride, I believe people just don't wait long enough there is a difference between loving someone and being IN love, but I do know marriage is a gamble anyway as we all do keep growing and he just have to try and grow together and in the same direction.

I think you're right, but who knows when they are emotionally mature? And when do people stop growing and changing? I'm a different person than I was when I got married, and so is my husband. What if we grew apart and wanted different things? I can't imagine getting divorced, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of people get married thinking they are ready and that they won't get divorced, and then different things happen.

on love alone, not just for connection, for friends or for business sake. though, in some country the wish or the parents are often follow such as parental arrangement which have both advantages and disadvantages. though, to be practical some men and women get married to have attain a financial status and get out from poverty. while other force to get married because they are over age and should do so because the biological clock is running so fast so they would not like to be left from the train.

I agree that it is important to be ready for this type of commitment. That though is the issue with a lot of relationships. People think that they are ready because they want so badly to be with one another. But it takes a great deal of maturity to be able to have and work at a successful marriage. Successful marriages do not happen over night. Like anything that we want to keep in good shape we have to work hard at maintaining it. It is the same way with marriage. We can't expect things to just happen and that the love that we feel for one another will always just make things better. We are all imperfect and will rub each other the wrong way. So when that happens like it will we have to be able to handle situations like that and be respectful while doing it.

I absolutely agree with you. Marriage does take on the finances, maturity, and emotional capacity. If my wedding day was tomorrow, I would evaluate myself on those 3 areas and I know I would not have high ratings in none of them. To share with you my own personal stance: my current finances are not looking good, I'm in debt and I don't spend my money wisely. I rather keep my finances to just me, than to let a woman take on my financial problems. Maturity, I don't see myself mature enough to take on marriage. Being in my mid-20s, I still act like I'm 18, 19, I party all the time and I don't take marriage serious. Emotionally, I don't see myself putting up with a woman for x amount of years. One day I'll be happy and the next day I'll be in a situation where I want to be left alone, one of those "don't talk to me" situations.

I am a married person and one thing I may add was spiritual aspect of marriage life - for me being a couple with different faith/religion would might have an issue. You may want to consider of choosing a mate which have the same faith as yours. In this case you may prevent future arguments about each belief and you will guide your children accordingly with one faith.