What do if your boyfriend/husband said this to you?

With the divorce rate and many , many moms who choose to have a child without having a man, you know via test tube, there are way too many kids being raised by one parent for them to be mocked. And even in a two parent household, if dad is working 2 or 3 jobs , he can't be around, It falls on mom. Is it pride? I thought about it his choice. He is the one who says abort, meaning he does not want the child period! Why in the hell should U force a man to be in a life of a child he Never wanted. To feel that you are not loved by a parent while he is in your presence is worse than having him gone. Besides I am looking at it from his point of view because it is my true view. I don't want a child to ruin my life so I would opt for abortion. So he has a right to the same choice. The minute a woman says no I'm keeping the child,the baby is solely hers. and besides who says the mom will be single forever? There are many a guy ou there who Want to be fathers and would love the child as their own. And the child would be his. Why? He is there and Loves the child. Blood isn't the only way to have family connection.

Got your point and I admire you being dedicated and proud. Yet please answer me this question: Is well known a child raised by a single parent is lacking parts of education and childhood. Is .. handicapped. So tell me please: is your proud so much more important than your child's future? You MAY be a great (single) parent and you MAY be able to give everything to your child, but that will protect him from other kids mocking? ...

I can agree any man that says abortion to his wife or girlfriend really doesn't want to be a father. That doesn't mean he might not change his mind. Maybe he will maybe he won't but not pushing it on him is a good thing. Letting him come around or want to be in the kid's life if the mother choices to have a child or not. Every women is different when it comes to handing the father of that child differently.

Having a baby isn't a couples decision its the mothers choice weather she wants to have the baby or not even if she is with someone. She doesn't have to listen to what that person feels is right its her body so there for she has all rights to forgo weather she continues on the path of having a baby or not. How to raise a child is between the couple themselves. The question was about yourself not what you think others should or what makes them a parent when? If a guy told you that he didn't want you to have a baby what would do? Listen to him or listen to what you feel is right? Its a easy question either yes I would go with what the guy wants or not I would go with what I want what ever it maybe. You don't have to have a lot of money I know that for a fact I'm raising my daughter on a every low income. I don't work my husband does and we are having a second baby. Being a parent and choicing to keep your kids means that you will do everything if that means you don't eat for a night or two to feed your kids that's being a parent. You don't' need to be rich or healthy all of the time or have the best job or a house. Having kids is a personal choice and its all up to the women and not the women and the men. If my husband came home today and told me he doesn't want me to have our second child. I would wake out that door take our daughter and drive the 9 hours back to my parents house because I would be keeping my babies weather he wants to or not. By law when it comes to pregnancy and weather to continue it its up to the women no one else can tell a women that she has to terminate a pregnancy unless she wants to.

A men doesn't have to pay child support if he is agreeing to be in a childs life. A men only has to provied child support if the mother ask for it. They can settle that in our outside of court. But I would say do that in court so you both have fine writing that is approved by a judge that yes he does own your child money and this is who much other wise he might not be giving you enough money that when he might be able to afford it. I agree that if the guy does want the child and the women doesn't that it'll have and affect on him but he doesn't have to live with same affects as a women would. A women might not fully understand whats going to be like to have and abortion and each women deal with it differently and a men can't understand what its like to carry about its different for a guy because he can't feel what the women feels. So for him I don't think a guy would feel to the same degree the same affects of a lose of a child. If a men has rights to his unborn child that means that guy is forcing a women to have a child she doesn't want to give it to a guy that does. What would that do to the women that has to go through 40 weeks of hell to please someone when its her body doing all the work. In those 40 weeks what is the man doing? Nothing he isn't putting his life at risk to bring the child into the world he gets to sit back go through no of aches of pain of growing a child, the hormone changes, the swelling, the sleepless nights. So I think the law is just fine saying a men has to rights to and unborn child till they are born. Other wise its all up to the mother and what happens and doesn't happen to that baby till they are born. So if she wants and abortion and does it in the time frame its need it then its okay. I don't like people having an abortion but I also don't want to force someone to have to go through something they don't want to go through just to make the other half that created that person happy. A guy till then can prove all he wants to the women that he will be a good parent but that doesn't really mean that that guy will nor does it mean any women that does want a child that she is a good parent or not. Its always a 50/50 when it comes to raising kids if a person will be good or bad parent and do more harm to good to that child. There are plenty of people on the outside that amazing as parent then aren't and that will always be a risk. I know Sarah if she was with a guy and he had rights to that child before they are born that he would make her have that baby and she would kill her. I can see a lot of women doing that as a way out when its her own body that is doing all the work and not his and no even half of him doing the working. He just gave the other half of dna needed to make a person.

I know that they don't have to pay support unless the mother requests it. If the mother goes on welfare then welfare will go after the father if the mother had put his name on the birth certificate. They were actually talking about requiring woman on welfare to reveal the name of the father because so many were not which meant they had no means of recovering any of the money they were handing out. I don't know if that ever went through or not. Also, while if a man wanted me to abort our child, I'd not be asking for a dam thing from him because as you said, odds are that he probably would not be someone you'd want around your child. If I were in that situation, I would want something legally documented stating that he is the father and that he relinquishes his parental rights. In doing so, that not only relieves him from any financial responsibility but he can't make any contact whatsoever with that child. Any woman that chooses to keep her child with a man that wants an abortion is risking that at some point that man may change his mind and want to see that child. If he takes a DNA and can prove that he is the father then he is fully within his rights. I think that in the event of a conflict like this that for the sake of both parties and especially the child, something should be legal and binding.

I wouldn't stay with a guy that would suggested for me to get and abortion instead of just asking me what I would like to do since it is my body. I would walk away and move on if he wants to be part of that child's life he'll have my number to reach me at.

I would do the same. I would just leave weather it was my first pregnancy or not. I know I would never have an abortion so asking me would just be silly and then their would never be an us again between me and that person.

Just because a guy loves you doesn't mean they want to have kids with you or at all. My husband sister's boy friend said he loved her and wanted to be with her forever and then when she tells him that she is pregnant he tells her to get an abortion because he doesn't want a kid. Of course there is no talking about that what is there more to discussion when someone tells you that. Its clear they don't want kids at that point I would just walk out which is what he did. But also she is 19 and stupid and took him back but he hasn't done anything fatherly or boyfriend ever since she got pregnant. He doesn't go to appointments or anything with her. He probably won't even go to the birth of his son.

I've never had it happen to me either. with either of my pregnancy even though we weren't trying for a baby we never not for a second wish it didn't happen and that we didn't want or children because we do. If my husband told me that I would be out the door. I'm not my sister in law but I wouldn't have tried to work things out at all. I don't know about them two and if things will work out since he has said that and I've never seen or heard him say anything about his baby even now that he born. I just could handle that and I wouldn't want a guy to think that it's okay for him to say that even if he didn't want the child. I would rather a guy tell me he can't be a parent or that he doesn't want to be a father then tell me to go and get ride of a pregnancy at all because he doesn't want me pregnant. To me that says he doesn't love me he just wants my body for something else.

Yes, this makes the good sense. Sometimes they just want us for our bodies, and nothing more.

I would do the same. good thing I have a husband that is for pro life.

I agree its up to the women weather or not to have an abortion or not. The guy can say what he wants but the women doesn't have to do as he wants. If a guy really loves the person he is with he will understand why she would or wouldn't want to have an abortion and support her choice. If a guy doesn't like what the women has choice then he can leave or she can leave depending on if he said what he felt or not. I know if my husband told me to have one I would walk right out the door and take the kids I have now and go. I wouldn't want to be with him any more because I would always want my husband to support my body as my body and for the next 40 weeks I'm en charge of what happens to that little life that is being created. But I know my husband would never say such a thing to me because he loves me and he loves are children.

I know for a fact that even when you don't want to get pregnant and use things correctly that doesn't always stop it. So for some guys they might not be ready for that step of parent hood but still I would rather a men that would stick by me then a men that run and tell me I had to get an abortion other wise they woudln't stay with me. I'll take the baby any day over a men like that. There is nothing in this world I know for myself that would cause me to want to have an abortion even if it mean me dying and the baby living I would take that chance. Well all pregnancy's have that chance from the being to the end. Weather my husband wanted or first or not I was sure we where going to keep her or at least I was. The same with my second pregnancy even though we both aren't ready for this second baby we still happy about it having another little baby in our life at such a close age to our first. If my husband had told me know and to get an abortion I would have left him because he knows I would always choice my children over him.

A men has no rights to a women's body while she is pregnant. He can not tell her what she can and can't do with that pregnancy. By law men do not have rights over and unborn baby. After the baby is born a father has rights to his child that includes stopping an adoption but not an abortion. You may feel that children need both parents but they don't. Lots of children are just as happy if not some times more happier then kids with two parents. To rise a child you only need one loving parent that wants to take care of you not two. To a child there is no difference. If a person is coming in and out of there life it might make it bit harder for them to attach themselves to others in that missing role but normally other family members play the missing parts. The entire process of pregnancy is down to the women. The men could want for his women to have certain test or to eat or drink certain things he has no control over a women and he certainly can't make her do any thing she doesn't want to do while she is pregnant. My husband could tell me all he wants that he wants me to do the genetic testing to see if there is anything wrong with any of my pregnancy but I don't have to do as he says. One I would do one any way my husband has left that up to me because he knows that I will know what is right during my pregnancy not him. He could tell me to lay off the caffeine but I don't have to the same with my doctors. They can tell me what I can and can't do or shouldn't do but that doesn't mean they have rights to make me do it either. No body has any rights to any bodies body. Till the baby is born the father can only voice his thoughts and nothing more.

Both having an abortion or continuing a pregnancy has complications to both. Having a baby can kill you but doctors know what they are doing so the risk of the mother dying is a lot less these days then back in the day. I don't see abortion as a sin but I do see it as killing a life even if by law they say a baby isn't a baby till they take there first breath. For me I'm always pro life not pro choice but I will respect others choices weather I agree with it or not.

Sadness is all you can say. Well you didn't answer the question about what would you do if your boyfriend/husband told you to have and abortion? Would you listen to him and have one even if your unsure or don't want one? Or would you listen to yourself and knowing what you know in your heart to be what is right for you?