I'm so frustrated with my husband!

To me as well it seems like he is setting me up for failure. It makes me so upset that he knows I will not be able to start it and yet he doesn't care enough to try and help me. I'm not sure what he is trying to do as far as having me be dependent on him but he is not willing to help me. It is so very frustrating. I hate the situation I'm in because when something goes wrong I'm the one who has to take care of everything with no help. That is not the way things are suppose to be. I'm always willing to help him. If it was vice versa I wouldn't have a problem taking him to work and I have more responsibilities than he does. I would have to take our daughter with me and change her schedule but I would do because if he needed help I would be willing. The only thing that he would be missing if he was to go to work with me is playing his video games and that isn't a priority in my book.

I don't think he has any intention of changing. Whatever attracted you to him, doesn't seem to be there. You are now parenting your husband. He is supposed to be your equal. I would seriously sit back and think about what it is best for YOU. What do YOU want, that will make you happy in your life. We only have one shot at life, and happiness doesn't come in bucket loads.

I completely agree with you that he should get it fixed. But he has already said that he is not spending any money on it, and that we will just have to basically deal with it the way it is right now. Well if that is the case then I think he should be more than willing to take me to work. The last time I had a problem with it I told him that I couldn't get it started and that he should go with me(It only takes me a few hours to work two at most when I go in). It's like once you take the key out it's hard to get it to switch over in the ignition again. But he did not take me so I had to go knowing that I can't miss work. After work I spent a hour and a half trying to get it started. It was from eight thirty to ten at night. I finally had to call my mother who lives forty five minutes away from me to drive me home. Then she had to drive him back to my job to have him get the car. Which I think is so unfair to my mom. Because all of this could have been avoided if he would have went with me because I told him I wasn't going to be able to get it started after work. It really shouldn't be that big of a deal for him to help me. When I go to work he spends a little time with our daughter and then it's time for her to go to bed. After that he plays his video games until midnight. So it's not like he is doing something important that requires his immediate attention,where he can not help me. But when I ask for his help because of a legitimate need he makes a big deal out of it and it makes me so upset. I too hope that I will be able to get that needed rest and time for myself. Because my frustration level with him is through the roof.

so, what is his respond when you had talked about your feeling??

Yes his actions have made me very frustrated.And I do talk with him about how I feel. I think that it's important to let him know when he is causing me a great deal of frustration and when I think that he is not showing me the consideration that I deserve.

I too hope he will help out. I'm hoping that he will help out with the house work more. He really can't help out with our daughter for longer than 15 mins because then she starts crying for me. She is attached to me at the hip. So it would help me out for him to do things around the house. Since more daughter wants me to hold her or do things with her.

Thanks for your help. I appreciate it. I will definitely keep letting him know that he should help out and what things he can do. It makes my load a lot lighter when he helps. The other night he did some of the dishes which was helpful. I appreciated that.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Unfortunately when i share my thoughts he doesn't listen unless i get really upset with him. I think that he should try and hear me out before hand. But he usually waits until I get really upset before he decides to listen to what I have to say. I hope that sometime soon he will do better in this regard. As my patience isn't doing that well. He is making me feel very sad about our relationship and the way he's treating me.

Hatley I did have a good talk with my husband. I hope that it has helped. It is important that he helps me. And that is exactly it he was getting upset with me (which he often does when something goes wrong) like it is my fault the car is having problems, my fault because I can't get it started, my fault he has to go pick it up. When he does that it is overwhelming frustrating on me. I think that it would be a great help for us to see a counselor. But he will not go at all. I agree with you wholeheartedly about all of your suggestions. I will definitely work on sticking to my feelings and telling him that he needs to help me in situations like this. You are right I really do deserve this kind of help and it has been unfair to me that he has treated me this way. When he needs help I'm always willing to help. And I don't blame him for things that he can't control (like the car not starting), which he does to me habitually. If it were vice versa I would have had no problem going with him to work for a few hours so that way he wouldn't have to fiddle with the car. And it only takes me at the max two hours to work on occasions like that. He just made such a big deal out of it when it didn't have to be. Thank you so much for your help. I appreciate it. I will be looking for your future advice as I'm sure soon something else will come up that he will blame me for.

I guess when he was younger he didn't do much to help out. But I think that no the main reason he doesn't try to help is because he spends so much time playing video games. Those games really are addicting for so many people. It frustrates me that he would rather play his game than help me out when I really needed his help. I'm so happy that that is done and over with. And the next time something happens with our car I'm just going to have to ask someone else to help because he just complains and has an attitude about helping.

lol. I know I was depressed just thinking about all of it. It really was a stressful time for me. Because he really made it hard on me not being willing to help. It was awful. Most husbands would help there wife especially with things like that but he didn't care to help. Which made the situation ten times worse. Thanks so much for your thoughts. It's nice to hear that I wasn't expecting too much from him because I needed his help. Sometimes I feel just like you said. I'm thinking to myself "REALLY?" YOU CANNOT HELP ME WITH THE CAR? I was very upset. So glad that for now it's over with because he isn't very helpful.

That is the thing though I'm always showing my husband that I appreciate when he helps out. When he does do something that helps or shows he cares I like to take him to his favorite restaurant, I just bought him this car vacuum that he wanted for work, I get coffee all the time since he loves it, get him shakes and a lot of other things that he likes. He just fails to appreciate all that I do and get for him. Like now I'm trying to plan a surprise weekend trip especially for him. To see one of his favorite bands that will cost me a lot of money (and I personally don't care for the band), and to take him to another show and dinner arena that he has wanted to go too. I really do so much for him that so many people say I shouldn't because he doesn't help me out when I need it. When he didn't want to drive me to work my mother said I shouldn't get him those tickets. The things I ask of him are simple and when I do ask I really do need the help or I wouldn't ask for it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me I appreciate it.

Yes I'm glad that that situation is over with because it was an awful experience. He was not helping or treating me the way he should have been. I did talk with him and I'm hoping that if anything like that happens again he will do better but I'm not so sure he will. I agree that talking does get things out there and each person will know what the other is expecting from them. Whether a person listens and respects that is a different topic as well.