how to forgive our enemy? it is really hard..

Yes, forgiving someone is very difficult, and I have seen some have asked you if this person you need to forgive, has asked first. (I may be wrong, but I think that is a Catholic teaching, because my cousin says the same thing). Anyway, the bigger the offense, the harder it is to forgive, but with time and daily handing it over to G♥d, it can be done.

Forgiving someone who hurt you is actually pointless,it is far better to just FORGET.Forget that person and what he did.How to do it? Just stay away from that person,do not have any contact with him/her.When the time comes,in a month/year/decade/whatever you will just not care whether this person hurt you or not.Just kick him/her our of your life.

Has he asked you for forgiveness? That is usually the first step. There are also somethings that you cannot forgive - blasphemy for example, and there are things you have to leave in God's hands. You also have to think if it was deliberate and also if what he did or she actually caused you any harm. If that person does not come and say that he or she is sorry, then it would be best to pray to God. I not not think forgiving someone yourself unless they ask is right. But asking God to perhaps enter that person's heard so that they will repent will help. And if that person will not, God will bring experiences into his or her life that will make him or her wish he or she did.

Yes but of course it would take time to forgive somebody who did wrong to you. Time will heal all the wound. Actually, what I always do is first to just think of the good things we shared together and how we were so happy before the wrongdoings happened. But of course, I can't see the person for at least a month or more for me to ease the pain.

Forgiveness is really something that takes a while to get to. Granted, there are times where we really do need to forgive, to clear ourselves, to move right onto our lives. To move forward, to really enjoy some of the best things right in life. I really do think that it is unwise to hold onto a grudge, no matter how much the other person has really done, and if they have felt something that has lead to any remorse. Of course, I really don't know if I have had such a breach with someone that I would consider them an enemy. The enemy is really just such a strong word right there. But of course, if I do need to forgive something, I need to understand why they might have done what they have done. Understanding is the first tentative steps right onto the road to forgiveness. Perhaps I can forgive someone. Time is the healer of most wounds.

I have a very simple belief on this. If someone is really, truly, unequivocally sorry and really means it wholeheartedly and is wiling to go all-out to apologise or seek forgiveness, then I'll forgive them. If they aren't serious about feeling sorry, then I won't. It doesn't matter how badly I've been hurt by them, but by how sorry they are and how much work they are willing to do to mend my pain, undo as much damage and pain as they can and just say, with meaning, the word sorry. If someone vandalised my garden, but they came genuinly seeking forgiveness and offered to help rebuild it somehow, and said sorry and explained how they learned the error of their ways, then I'd forgive them. That would be the case whatever had happened: it depends not upon the severity of the act that was commited, but on their effort to apologise and seek forgiveness, an effort that should match the severity of the act that was commited. If I was disabled as a result, then they should spend their whole life improving my quality of life, for example. Regarding enemies, I don't have enemies. There's humans, who do bad things sometimes, even to the extent that they should be taught the error of their ways or seek medical help, but I don't class anyone as an "enemy". At worst, I class them as mentally insane or simply wrong. If they were willing, I'd probably even help someone learn the error of their ways, regardless of what they have done to me or others, simply because they are a fellow human being and are willing to learn/change. I despise bad actions, rather than human beings. The only time and place I would have an enemy, would be if I joined the army. When humans genuinly realise those bad actions and try to undo the damage and genuinly seek a life of forgiveness, then I can forgive those bad actions. Until then, I will remain pained, angry and/or sadened, but "enemy" or some kind of "revenge" is out of the question. It's about genuinly feeling sorry and taking on the responsibility of understanding the act and its implications and dedicating oneself to making amends for it.

I guess I'll keep my distance from that person for a while for me to forget about the wrong things that have been done to me,move on w/my life & maybe forgive that person when my heart has completely healed.

I would say that forgiving is a "state of being" and not something that we can do. First of all we need to be willing to forgive and then forgiveness will visit us, not so much as we will make it happen. As a therapist, I would say that forgiveness is one of the most powerful experiences to have, because it releases us from anger and hate that can only hurt ourselves. Yes, there are times when we seem to hang on to anger and hatred, and in the past I have experienced that myself, but the realization that you can let it go and feel much better, much healthy and much more settled, is quite strong and frees us from any emotions that are potentially toxic. If I feel I have been hurt, I meditate and focus on the hurt that I believe the other person has caused. I hold it in my mind, with a willingness to let it all go, and it always happens completely and I get closure. _Derek

This is a challenging subject. Can I ask: on what do you base the concept that we should forgive? Can you give us an example of where it is hard to forgive?

its hard to forgive someone who have wronged but you need to let go of the grudge because it is really unhealthy. imagine yourself holding a burning charcoal in your hands, the longer you hold it, the more painful you will feel. if someone had wrong you then forgive him but never forget so it will never happen again and learn from it.

It depends on what that person did to me. Though i've been hurt bad, i can easily forgive if what the person did wasn't that grave. I have forgiven a friend once who talked behind my back. Though she didn't ask forgiveness i felt the need to forgive her so i could move on with my life as well. That made me feel good afterwards. So pardoning her actually made me a much better person.

you just try to forgive them even if you can't i mean live it to GOD if they did wrong the god will punish them for their did. you just forget and enjoy your life. if it could be also that you may have done something wrong with anyone so god have punished us to send us enemy .if like that then accept it. forgot what happend .just enjoy . n be true.

Hi! It is really hard to forgive someone who has hurt you badly. But we must really forgive.Time heals, just don't meddle on it too much. Forgiving is possible. God can forgive us ,how much more we humans. We must learn to forgive. Just make sure its sincere.;))

you are right it is the hardest part of life ,it is worse if the person who wronged you was your once trusted friend ,the only thing is to allow yourself time to heal form the wound by not seein the person for sometme ,seeing the person makes the pains worse but when you dont see the person ,it becomes easier . however it all depends on the degree of what was done to you ,if it has something to do with my life i will forgive but will never trust the person again

wow.. its my bad character its hard for forgiving them in my heart

Hi atwilson, I agree with you that forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply is very hard to do. Even if that person apologizes and asks for forgiveness and you say you forgive him but you will not forget; that is not forgiveness. In my opinion forgiveness is to forgive and forget or at least try your best to forget then you'll truly forgive him/her. I guess the only way to deal with this is yourself. Can you truly forgive and forget? Try it. It may work for you if you're truly sincere. It's really up to you. Have a good day.

I find this question could be the most important that we should ask ourselves: Jesus Christ told us to do it and we must listen it doesn't matter our religion cause He was the most perfect in His actions. I struggled with it in 2010 when I realized that I was holding mine for too long, so I received a spiritual advice to keep repeating "I forgive you ...", "I love you..." being the ... the name of the person. I done it constantly, many times a day and for many months, I feel lighter, I think I have, in only two months I felt a lot better. It's like lifting a weight from the shoulders. I have all the reasons to hate that person, it was unfair, it was horrible what it was done, but why would I poison myself with this person right?

It is the true. For me is very difficult don't hate a person that do something that hurt me. And is also difficult, the day later, think that it was nothing and do like always. Sometimes I really hate that person and after a few minutes all was like always. The very matter is when I'm alone and I think at all the sad thinks that someone so to me.

Just forget his or her mistakes from u ,then forgive him or her.U know time of repentance is coming...Never selfish ur forgivenes for God is looking at u................happy lotting....

yes i can forgive my enemy just once, everyone sure have mistakenly. they should change their attitude. everyone can forgive the enemy many times but more people have different perception to forgive people. in the once time i will forgive her/him. in second time i'm difficult to forgive them. but if they can touch my heart to forgive maybe i can accept their forgiving.