I almost lost my boyfriend this weekend
By success1625
@success1625 (533)
Trinidad And Tobago
March 25, 2012 8:26pm CST
Being an independent woman, who oftentimes get her way no matter what or there's hell to pay isn't necessarily a good thing.
Women today have taken to the notion that because they make their own paper, drive their own cars even own their own home,adherence to their man's feelings is null and void, because we've become so liberal.
At 34 I'm one of those women, I've a great job, I'm well educated, I own my own car, and I've my own house, I make my own paper that combined with being single for years makes for a monster of sorts,lolll,'cause no man in their right mind could even bother to think that they could tell me what to do.
Yesterday because I didn't like something my boyfriend did,I very nicely wrote him a "Dear John" letter and private messaged it to him on facebook, hoping that it'd intimidate him enough to do what I wanted.
Well it backfired...badly 
He got so mad it was scary, because in the 16 years I'd know him, I'd never seen him mad, he didn't talk to me all of yesterday even as I tried to aplogise, but thankfully we made up this evening we're back on track.
I learnt quite a number of lessons yesterday. I learnt that I love that man intensely and considering we've been friends for 16 years, I consider our, as he so nicely put it, "two months and a piece" relationship a blessing.
I learnt that just because I'm successful doesn't mean I need to be a ball buster. I once prided myself on being able to "verbally castrate" a man, not giving a care as to how he felt after because it was my way or the hi-way.
I learnt that I don't ever want to lose my beau and sometimes we women need to make compromises. I'm not saying we should lose our independence but there are times we need to be submissive to our men.
Oooohhhhh, there's that word the feminists hate, but take it or leave it, men are the head of the household, our "leaders",our providers that's their role and function.
And whilst I don't plan on losing my identity, I surely need to tone it down some notches, because I love my man and I intend to keep him 
He got so mad it was scary, because in the 16 years I'd know him, I'd never seen him mad, he didn't talk to me all of yesterday even as I tried to aplogise, but thankfully we made up this evening we're back on track.
I learnt quite a number of lessons yesterday. I learnt that I love that man intensely and considering we've been friends for 16 years, I consider our, as he so nicely put it, "two months and a piece" relationship a blessing.
I learnt that just because I'm successful doesn't mean I need to be a ball buster. I once prided myself on being able to "verbally castrate" a man, not giving a care as to how he felt after because it was my way or the hi-way.
I learnt that I don't ever want to lose my beau and sometimes we women need to make compromises. I'm not saying we should lose our independence but there are times we need to be submissive to our men.
Oooohhhhh, there's that word the feminists hate, but take it or leave it, men are the head of the household, our "leaders",our providers that's their role and function.
And whilst I don't plan on losing my identity, I surely need to tone it down some notches, because I love my man and I intend to keep him 10 responses
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
26 Mar 12
so we can say that even you are great woman and had success career, woman still need a man..
there something that woman can`t do, but man can do it..
its same like that for men..
there are something that men can`t do it, but women can do it
God had created man and woman need each other
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Mar 12
So true my friend, so true. No man is an island. You said it wonderfully "GOD had created man and woman need each other" so very true
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
26 Mar 12
thank God you have realised that , your relationship is going to grow from there because of you realisation. A friend of sixten years is worth more than ten in the bush
Amen to that bonding2, Amen to that 
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
26 Mar 12
There is a huge difference between being submissive and letting a man walk all over you.
Being subnmissive is letting them think that they are in command while you know that you are letting them think that they are 
Nothing wrong with that at all if it is what is required to keep you in an 'us' situation that suits you.
Letting a man walk all over you is something else and not worth the time because it is not the right way to become 'we'. It will always be 'him' and you tagging along.
That's a long time that you have known him. How come yo uonly got together such a short time ago?
Nothing wrong with that at all if it is what is required to keep you in an 'us' situation that suits you.
Letting a man walk all over you is something else and not worth the time because it is not the right way to become 'we'. It will always be 'him' and you tagging along.
That's a long time that you have known him. How come yo uonly got together such a short time ago?
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Mar 12
Hey darling, well for one thing I've never had feelings for him up until now. It was suggested that in the early part of our friendship he liked me, but wasn't brave enough to tell me,'cause he was always calling me, and wanting to go out, and coming by folks house, or even coming to the church I attended occasionally. But I wasn't interested in anything romantic, if anything he was just like a brother to me.
Then in our adult years he got invloved with some woman who mistreated him for seven years, and I still didn't like more than as just as friend.
About 3 years ago, when he broke up with the girl, we reconnected strongly because as his friend it was all about me comforting him still just as friends, neither of us were interested in each other, then one day he across by my folks house (who has always loved him, my mom use to say that he'd be her son in law one day and I'd reply when hell freeezes over) and I literally felt something tug at my heart that day.
For those next 3 years, I fell for him, till I did something I never thought I'd do, (in fact it was THE FIRST TIME I'd ever do something like that),I told him I had feelings for him and wanted to be with him, he didn't respond right away, 'cause according to him he had to proccess what I'd said, after all is 16 year friendship we're talking about and he didn't want to risk that, anyway in January of this year he said yes and we deceided for a relationship and we're talking about marriage in the very near future.
@keasling (723)
• United States
26 Mar 12
I do not think there is anything wrong with being submissive to the man you love. I am not saying being his slave but a female does not need to be the alpha female all the time. Men need to be wanted and needed. While being an independent woman is great having a soul mate to share life is even greater. Congrats on lessons learned and cherish that man of yours every day =)
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Mar 12
Thanks sweetie, and you said it so correctly, you're on point. When he didn't take my calls all I kept thinking is, wow am I gonna have to live in this place alone, cause he and I already made plans for our future and I thought that was it for those plans,loll. Whoooo I can laugh now, I wasn't laughing yestrday. I do intend to cherish him every single day.
@kccrystalsachi (117)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
Just read this and realized and felt the same way of you. LOL. I am close to acting this way most of the time because in most cases, I'd like to be the "superior" instead of giving the lead to my husband which usually makes him go mad at times too.
Thank you for this discussions as I also would like to keep my man --- really do intend to keep him until I literally grow old...and die.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
27 Mar 12
When it comes to love, I guess women can be easily tamed under men. I didn't say it in a not respectful way though. But from what I saw in most cases, if you really love that man, no matter how strong and successful you are as a woman, you still be tamed. It is woman's nature somehow. Unless you don't love him at all.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
27 Mar 12
So actually you are saying that you, because you are a woman, always have to give in? That no matter what, how much you are educated or earn you always have to do what he likes to keep him? Because he will be mad and you prefer to crawl for him instead of him accepting you as an equal person? And this all in the name of love?
How come he can do what he can and he is not doing the same for you in name of love?
Men changed too through the years. They are not the same anymore as 50 or 100 years ago. personally I would never accept this behaviour of a man anymore, if he doesn't know you after all these years, if he prefers to play the angry man, so be it. It says way more about him as it says about you.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
26 Mar 12
Well, sometimes we go too far when we think we have everything and are just testing the waters to see how our relationship will go. I'm happy he is no longer that mad at you, and whatever it was that you did or said to him, I hope he forgives you and never holds a grudge. That is where the love was tested if he can now forgive you, I suppose. It sounded so serious.
