Safe Answers

We dont blurt things out because we care. We do not want to alienate them to us. And I do believe answers depends on a situation. There are situation when it is best to let the person know slowly and make him/her realize the mistakes than saying them on the spot. But I also recognize that there are people who seems to keep choosing the safe answer, they are afraid to take the risk of getting hurt and of failing. But it was their choice, and its their life to run not ours.

Are you talking about responses to discussions here on myLot? Just saying a simple yes or no would not lead to further dicsussion surely?

I do think it depends on where or whom we need to give those answers. We try to be polite as much as possible sometimes that saying yes or no may sometimes be not the word for us to say. Instead we try to sugar coat the words. There is nothing wrong too in being blunt. But I think that all depends on which situation we are in.

Sometimes it is better to not be blunt. I guess you could say that it is one of those things that relies on what kind of person you are. If it is in regards to someone you care about, you are going to be cautious in what you say to them. We should watch what we say to everyone because you never know how what you say to someone could affect their lives.

I am not afraid, I do give straight answer people. Why?. When you tell the people straight answer they will love you more and they will trust you more. How do you think Graceekwenx are you straight answer?. I like to be with new people, chat with them meet with them and I shy to give them straight answer to what reason they have. But I am straight answer man yes!! I am. Me and my wife alway's straight answer yes or no for things we don't like. Thank you for your topic, is open my heart really!. Hawari

The way society is today atleast for people my age is that so many things are taken the wrong way that people are almost afraid to speak out and tell the truth or speak out and be different, if you're not apart of the status quo you're just an outcast.

Probably they are afraid of your reaction.

Well, we want to put more than "yes" or "no" in our response box. I guess maybe if it's a contreversial topic, a person might not want to upset anyone else of their opinion. That's the only thing I can really think of. Happy MyLotting!

Honestly? Most people will say it's because they "care about the other person's feelings", but it's probably because they don't want that person to turn around and punch them in the jaw. Birdie -

In the real world many play diplomatically. So they refrain from a Direct yes or no to many things. I am not one of them and know I am blunt many a times... like it or not. Even here at mylot... many a times my being blunt gets reflected. But MyLot is a place for discussions and discussions do not get resolved with a simple Yes or No... they need to be explained and also the Lotter should be open to discussion.... Those who are not... they do find MyLot a difficult place for them

There are times when i'm really blunt but there are times when i give a safe answer. My reason, it depends on who i'm talking to. If someone can take my being blunt, i just give a straight answer right away without considering his or her emotion. But when i know that the person couldn't take it, i slow down and just give a safe answer. Sometimes it depends on the situation too.

I am not afraid to be direct, but I temper it with kindness depending on the situation. For example, if someone is wearing a dress that looks horrible and the person asks my opinion, I might say, "I love the color on you," which is true, and then add, "but perhaps another style would be better?". Or leave out the second part if the person is very sensitive. I figure eventually someone else will point it out. Or, I might be very blunt and say, "David, I think that dress would look better on your sister.." lol! Seriously, though, it depends on the situation. If it's not a dire matter, there is nothing wrong with being tactful. Anything else, though, I will be direct. No use beating around the bush on some matters.

This can be my problem sometimes. I just don't want to sound rude or anything like that. I also think that some people don't want to hurt anyone so they just resort on saying things that are tolerable.

coz other people tends to be playing safe...afraid of being criticize

Well, it depends on lots of things. People CAN see yes or no very bluntly, but it depends on the situation. I would feel hurt if someone said that I looked hideous in my outfit and to change it out immediately before someone cute sees how ugly I look with the outfit. Instead, I wouldn't be very hurt if they just said "Hmm, I think this -picks up another outfit- would look SO much better on you. The brown just compliments your beautiful sparkling eyes! :D!!!".

Sometimes we don't because it could affect the way some people look at us, I wouldn't just shout out of what I thought of a person there and then, it can also be quite embarrassing, it also might hurt someones else feelings if we just say it blunt, trust me, it's harder then it sounds.

That is a great question, I have wondered it many times myself. I think people are so worried about hurting others' feelings sometimes so they are hesitant to say a flat out yes or no. I am a firm believer in honesty, however sometimes I know it is hard to be honest. This is especially true when you know the answer you want to give is not what they want to hear and the person is someone you really care about and respect. Actually being direct and honest in the first place is less hurtful than not being, but it is hard for some people to realize that until it is too late.