Smart and Optimistic Friends

I agree that having positive friends and not pessimistic/negative ones are way better. Anyone who is like that generally tries to bring you down with them, and that's not fair!

I agree. Your friends' attitude would affect and influence your personality.

Hi Yanzalong, So true that being around positive, happy people does boost your spirits which I imagine does boost the energy. Likewise the opposite will have the opposite affect. I would not suggest to completely stay away from pessimistic friends. They are after all your friends and so I assume they must have some qualities about them that you love. I have some friends that tend to be pessimistic a lot but they aren't always. It all depends on the day and what is going on in their lives. If they are in a bad mood and I feel like it is affecting me then I will limit my time with them but as a friend I would put the effort into trying to lift them out of that mood and also let them vent a bit. If all the positive people stayed away from all the negative people then how would the negative people ever get their smiles?

I don't quite agree with that. Whatever we do, whoever we mix around with, we have our own judgement to make. When friends are pessimistic, all the more we should be optimistic, to bring them out of their sorrow state. When we are the pessimistic ones instead, do we want others to follow in our footsteps? I don't think so right? Each of us has the right to decide what we want, there will always be people guiding us out of our current state. Nobody shall be left alone, fending for themselves.

That explains a lot in my life. I'm smart and pessimistic. I tried being optimistic, and failed completely.

I have this one friend who every time we talk he would only tell me the bad things that has been going on in his life and his fears. He's a very pessimistic person and he told me once that i cannot teach old dogs new tricks so he would never changed. I didn't stay away from him because i know in time he would learn how to listen. I always try to be optimistic and influence those who are not. So i don't stay away, rather i let my little ray of sunshine get through their hearts.

I'd stay away from pessimistic friend because as you said,they drain our energy & they bring us down w/them or even influence us to be like them.I like staying around positive people because I want to be like them.

You are absolutely right about friendships. I have had high energy optimistic friends and my energy and optimism soared! I worked towards making my dreams and goals come true. I have recently had pessimistic friends that spend their time complaining about how much they hurt, how poor they are, that they hate where they live and more. I find myself dragging and aching more after dealing with them. I have a hard enough time keeping myself "up" and going with the extreme pain levels I live in. I don't spend all my time complaining about how bad I hurt, how I have difficulty breathing, and more. If I focus on the negative I don't accomplish what I want to. If I go for the "gold" and keep myself positive and work through all the problems and aches and pains that I go through. I contact my pessimistic friends infrequently because I can't take their eternal sniveling and whining (pissing and moaning, complaining, griping, should I go on?) on my time. I tried to get through to them that they need to go optimistic and get the job done...it goes sailing in one ear and out the other with no stops in between. After talking to the pessimistic friends I am "down" for weeks afterwards, fighting to get my own optimism back, so I may contact them once every two or three months whereas I am in contact with my optimistic friends at least once a week. I would rather hear about the wonderful things that are going on in a friend's life and hear about their achievements, I am "up" myself and get more projects done and am much more positive and happy.

I agree with you, making friends with smart and optimistic friends can inspire and give positive effect on us. We can learn from the friends and when we feel down we can take a look at the friend so we can feel the spirit to struggle and seeing this life in optimist way. And I also agree with you, making friends with those who often complain, always pessimistic, always blame the other when things didn't go as the way they want, envy the other people instead of using their energy to do something good, this friend is such a poisonus friend and might give bad effect on us. moreover if we dont realize what happen it might ruin our sanity, so we need to be carefull when we choose our friend. But then the positive side of knowing these people who keep complaining about life is make us learning that this kind of behavior is bad and we should not do what they do. Just make it as a lesson to learn but never never being close or involve ourself in to their problem. Speaking from my own experience, I had this kind of friend and no matter how hard we try to tell this person that "life will not change for us unless we change ourself and helping ourself to get out from the bad situation" this kind of friend will never listen to us, and will keep complain, put the blame on other people and cry her life is really bad. Yes, stay away from this kind of friend before this person might ruin your life. But I think the word stay away is not the right term, i would say that i wont take this person as close friend but just a friend as in a person that I know, and I wont involve myself into her life nor will involve her into my life.

I would say: yes stay away of them. Especially if you don't feel well, if they are not able to change (so tell them what effect they have on other people, complaining, being pessimistic will not help and also not attract people) or if they drag you into their misery or want you to solve their problems.

If you have pessimistic friends, its your chance to lead them on the right way. Show them how you do things and the reward they will get if they will follow your advice. By explaining and showing examples, there is also a chance that your friends will change for the better. It's not also good that if you have already seen the negative aspect of them then you will leave them. Friends should not be like that.

Definitely leave them, I better has enemy who work hard and optimist than a friend who lazy and pessimist. The enemy will motivates me to work harder and being a better person.