live-in or marriage first?
@girlthing62989 (103)
Philippines
April 3, 2012 4:56am CST
Hey people, which do you prefer, living together before marriage or marriage before living together? As for me, I prefer to live with my boyfriend before marriage because in this way, we could get to know each other more better. There are some couples whom at first they are in love with each other and soon they'll get married and after how many years or even months, they will file annulment or divorce and then they will realize how stupid they are for marrying the wrong person. Well, this is really stupid but it happens. right? so for me, in this generation, it is better to live together before marriage to get to know each other better and if you realize that you really want to spend your life with that person, then marry him/her that is so easy to do! but if you find yourself happy without that person, then live life alone!
2 people like this
16 responses
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
6 Apr 12
My husband and I lived together before we got married. Today many people in my country do the same thing, but it hasn't always been that way. In the past it wasn't acceptable to live together if you weren't married, and it was a very bad thing to get pregnant if you weren't married. I am happy that things are different today, because I think that it is good thing to live together before marriage. That way you can get to know eachother better before marriage. Some people don't share that opinion and some of my friends would never live together before they got married. I respect their opinion and I think that they have to do what it is right for them. In my own case it was the rigth decision to live together before marriage.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
10 Apr 12
Actually the lowest rate of divorce, is among people who were virgins on their marriage night. If you have never slept with anyone, including the person you are about to marry, and he has done the same, your chance of divorce are lower than 20%.
If you sleep with just one person, even the person you marry, your chances of divorce go up to 50%, and higher with each additional person you jump in bed with.
If 80 of 100 agree... you can usually safely assume they are wrong.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
9 Apr 12
I agree with you and today, it's almost 80% out of 100 people who will agree to the situation of living together before marriage because in that way, you will get to now your partner more better and there's a big chance of the so called "lived happily ever after" in fairytale story. but if marriage comes first but you are not sure yet about the person you've been married to then you will just end up in annulment or divorce. unless youve been together as gf/bf for more than 5-10 years already then may be you could say that you know a lot of things about that person but being together for long time is not guarantee of a happy ending relationship unless you live in one roof.
@cyrri_ako (461)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
it doesnt really matter...as long as you the know the reason for being married or living together..go ahead...dont be tied up with what other people may tell you...what's important is the two of you....
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
4 Apr 12
In todays world...where I live any way...young people meet and fall in love[or so they think any way] and 1 or 2 weeks later they have moved in together...to me it is like building a house they build the roof first but they forgot to build a secure ground to build the house on. In any relationship there should be a period where the couple get to know each other as individuals and as a person and that would make a solid base for marriage...living together before marriage is not a guaranty of a happy marriage any way! I see many relationships failing even before they start! they move in together they argue about the bills and every thing else instead of having the time of their life they start the relationship with domestics issues [ issues a couple should have later] and not at the beginning! I just ask my self what is the hurry really!
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
hi there!
It is better to get married first because you are starting your relationship the right way. However, marriage is not like when you don’t want your husband or wife then file for annulment and divorce. You need to be emotionally, mentally, physically and financially ready first. Of course you should love your partner and really sure of yourself that she/he is the right person you will spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is bound by God that it is sacred.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
haha lol :)) That is exactly the point there. Marriage is not like a chewing gum that when it has no taste anymore, you can just throw it up. haha =) so when you go the stage of marriage, you have to make sure that you love the person with all your heart and you are 100% sure that it will not end up in the so called "annulment or divorce". And that is the purpose why some couples preferred to live together first before marriage so they could get to know each other very well and during that period, if they'll realize that they're meant to be then they can marry but if they find out the relationship is not working, then they can separate easily without having some troubles or anything.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
4 Apr 12
I personally prefer living together before marriage. like you say, we could gt to know each other better and to prevent any conflicts after marriage.
At least by staying together, we'll get to know more about the other person, his bad habits and all and we can make a better decision.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
Precisely! That is my point. Bright girl =) You'll get to know each other better and once the relationship will work during the live in period, then go for marriage and ask for the blessing of God =)
@toxic_lifestyle (1213)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
I prefer a marriage instead of a live-in because I want be married to the person I love before we live in together in a same roof. Besides, I don't want other people to spread rumors if we are in live-in. Also, I know that my parents would not agree if I would decide to go for a live-in because they are conservative.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
You want to be married to the person you love right? Then that love will probably fade or lose once your already married especially when you don't really know your partner. Let say you've been together as bf/gf for more than a year and soon you decided to get married and after the marriage, the attitudes of both sides will suddenly come out and then you will find out that you marry the wrong person. And that is the purpose of living together before marriage because in that way, you will get to know your partner much better and if the relationship will work, then go get married but if not, then leave each other alone. And you should not mind about what other people would say, what you need to follow is your heart, mind and only yourself.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
22 Apr 12
i also think that it is better to be living together before marriage. this gives time for people to know one another and see if they can live together as man and wife first. i think this is very practical.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
3 Apr 12
I think that everybody needs to realise that the world has moved on in recent years, and that marriage is no longer everything. I don't think that people should be getting married without knowing whether they can live with each other first, because this means that they might be going into something that they wouldn't be happy with. Spending time with someone is completely different to living with someone, and this is something that I have found out first hand in my own life, which was a very interesting experience indeed.
@offkey (313)
• United States
3 Apr 12
My now husband and I lived together for 10 months before we go married, it was mostly because I couldn't stand being away from him so much, he was driving 6 hours (total, 3 each way) to see me every weekend, I would cry all day on sunday because I knew he'd have to leave. Moving in together was the only option for us to be happy, his parents weren't that estatic about it, but oh well, we were engaged before we moved in together.
I'm happy that we did, there are a lot of couples that move in together and really don't know each other as well as they thought they did, you know because people have their quirks and habits and certain ways of doing things. It's hard to live with someone, and just all of a sudden find out they don't put the cap back on the toothe paste, or squeeze it from the middle. I know those are small things but things like that can cause arguing, even if it does sound silly.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
Obviously, you really loved each other! That's the same case with me, my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. It's about 8 hours drive from my place to him. And it is very hard to live in a place away from the person you truly love. I also cry every time I have to leave and back to my place and same also when he go to my place and he had to leave it made me cry. I missed him so much and If i'll be given a chance to live with him I will. even with marriage or not.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
3 Apr 12
I think it's way better too to live together first and see if you like all the habits your partner has. How the roleplay will be at day and night, shopping, cooking, etc. Even if you live together it won't be easy to leave if you gave up your own home etc. But still it will safe you way more pain, trouble incl. financial trouble if you find out you don't fit together.
@girlthing62989 (103)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
Hello. You are right! That's actually one of the reasons why some couples preferred to live together first before marriage because they will get to know each other better and they won't have regrets in the end. And before they get marry, they already know each other very well.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
I would love to get married first, but with what I am seeing with some of the people I know... I think they are right too, to know the person you are gonna get married with first by living in together with him. It is not the ideal thing but some of them says that it would help if you suddenly found out that you and your partner isn't compatible with each other.
@lil_toni (206)
•
3 Apr 12
Each of us have different aspects with regards to that kind of matter.We have our own beliefs,our own stand and it depends on how to deal with.But before choosing which of those two you would prefer to make,be sure that you know what you are doing and that you are aware and ready of what will happen in the future.And before making any decisions,it is also good that both parties agreed with it.In every decisions,comes with responsibility.And aside from that, loving your partner is the most important formula in any relationship and that includes respect,faith,patience and broad-minded.
As for me,I would definitely choose marriage first before living together.It is important for to have marriage first before anything else.
@ramanranjan (14)
•
3 Apr 12
I prefer marriage before living together.yaa it is right to know about the person which ever u getting married.most of the family is not allowing to live with boy friend or girlfriend ....
@polilablowe (21)
• Singapore
3 Apr 12
I would love to get married first before living in together. At least that was what I had hoped to happen. But the circumstances on which my husband and me were in did not allow that to happen. So we had to live on the same roof for about 6mos first before we eventually got married.
