revenge

Well Mom, how did that work for you? Feel any better? Next time mail him a card inside another card, make sure it is addressed and stamped to you and see if he gets the message. I have lived many years with someone who doesn't attach any importance to BD or other rememberences. EXCEPT OF COURSE HIS OWN. Finally I understood that it just didn't matter to him what others felt and now I remeind him when needed. I think part of his brain is missing, because if anyone is in trouble they get the shirt off his back ASAP, he really cares then, of course silly me I do realize he also gets to be considered a hero. Not really a bad guy, just dense. Blessings

i have never done that with my sons, even though they forget, i would never get revenge on them just because they didn't remember my birthday, just having them as my sons is a special gift so material gifts don't matter to me

does revenge really solve anything? i find it doesn't.

Hi ecaron I do not believe in the concepts or ideas of taking revenge (as of today) - it would be wrong of me if I said I never believed in this. I did it too many a times long back and only then I realized that when I do my revenge, it doesnt end there. The involved does get an opportunity to have his revenge for the revenge of mine and many a times it does turn out to be a battle that never ends. Today, I have realized that this revenge thing is nothing more than satisfying your own ego and ego in itself is bad. So why waste time thinking how to and implementing that revenge for another one in the pipeline... There are many other things to worry, think and make use of which are much more healthy and productive I dont disagree with your non-wishing or wishing - but do you know that this idea behind your doing - revenge - might have been a reason why your son hasnt called you up? Well, not exactly related to his birthday but there might be other instances which you do not mention... 28 long years are quite a while and your actions during this period do have an effect on how things are today. Please look back on those past years and I am sure you would find something that has made you and your son distant.

I am sometimes like that too where I would take revenge to people who have wronged me. I have this notion that if someone does not make me feel important, why should I treat them otherwise? In most cases though, I would give them the benefit of doubt. It is when I ran out of patience that would make me take revenge or give them the silent treatment then walk away from the relationship afterward. I admit this is a wrong attitude of mine. I came to realize that talking to the person is the most simple solution. The difficulty of your situation is that the person you are dealing with is your son, and you cannot simply walk away from him. Being a mother is a full time job, and it's impossible for you to call it quits. Being revengeful might teach him a lesson but might also put a strain on your relationship. Perhaps you should think of some other way where you could release your hurt feelings? Or maybe, simply talking to him about it would improve your situation. Maybe he is just really forgetful about birthdays.

i feel sorry for what you have mentioned about your son. It is really unfortunate to have a time when one gets separated from their children in this high tech world where communication is so easily available. Every relation goes through its ups and down and gradually the truth does prevail. It might take time, but don't be disheartened if he is not in touch with you. i would say if its fine with you ignore this feeling of revenge and do establish little communication with him may be through SMS, phone message. its not that he has forgotten you , its just some dust particle have accumulated on the relation and that needs to be wiped off and you can take the first step. there is no harm in wishing him his birthday. there can be nothing negative in wishing him if not positive.

No, I wouldn't do anything to take revenge. My feelings might be hurt, but that's life. When you have kids, you take the bad along with the good. My son is good at remembering birthdays, but he doesn't come around often unless he's specifically invited. There's not much natural give and take in our relationship as he gets older (he's 31) and advances in his career, takes care of his family and so on. I miss having him just call or drop by now and then, but, again, that's life. I don't hold it against him.

I'm a do unto others type of gal. I always treat people the way I would want to be treated no matter what the situation. There are times I get pissed off at my kids and want to just ignore them or stop talking to them, but I could never do that. They are still my kids and I am the example they have learned to live by. When you forgive someone you are doing it for yourself, not for the other person. They probably don't even know they've hurt you. I am not saying I am a perfect but I try to live the way I would want people to treat me.

I don't remember my dad's birthday but he hasn't been an important person in my life for years I am glad I am alive and partially it is because of him, but a lot of it was mama and the doctors. I do remember others birthdays, my mom passed away not last January but January before last and her birthday is coming up soon.

My sister forgot my dad's birthday a few years ago. He didn't act immaturely and snub her on her birthday, because I'm sorry, that was immature of you. It's terrible he has forgotten your birthday, but retaliating in the same makes you no better. We just gently remind my sister prior to relatives birthdays now. We don't make a big deal out of it, we just remind her. Purposefully ignoring someone's birthday, even if they do the same to you, is just childish. Isn't there a saying about how an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind? Yeah it hurts, but handle it with grace and be the bigger person.

I'm sorry for that. Usually I try to find a reason behind the way people behave, but there shouldn't be any reason or excuse for a son not to wish his mother a happy birthday. About revenge. Not a fan. I think revenge will make you happy for a moment and then after a while will make you sad and bitter. I also think that planing revenge for a few years will bite hard into your soul and will end up hurting and making you more miserable than the person whom you want to have revenge on. I'm still young but I don't think revenge is the way to settle things. Life is short and things like vanity, pride and revenge shouldn't get in the way of happiness.

I could relate on the issue of unforgiveness. I have issues with my mom whom I have not spoken with for almost 2 years now. It hurts me that she has decided to also ignore me completely and just let me be as though I never existed in her life. I think as a parent, it must be difficult too to let go of grudges against their children but wouldn't it be liberating if one should just humble himself or herself and reach out to the other who may not have enough courage to face up to the apparent conflict? So you are right in saying that if you forgive your son, your life can go on. It doesn't matter if the other person you forgive does not reciprocate. We cannot continue to remain in the past. We need to move on with our lives and make the most out of it. Cheers!