Are all girls extremely jealous ?

@vertu007 (683)
Romania
April 7, 2012 4:46am CST
My girlfriend told me that she gets jealous a lot. Yesterday she got jealous because we were making pizza at a friend's house and I made a little fun of one of her friends (girl). But while I was doing that I was standing near my girlfriend, holding her hand and whatnot. I mean I don't really get it. If I wouldn't had paid her any attention and made fun of her friend I could understand the problem, but in this case ... not really. Can someone explain this ?
5 people like this
19 responses
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
7 Apr 12
That is really her problem and she has to learn how to deal with it. It is not so much jealousy as a lack of confidence: (1) in herself, because she doesn't believe that she attracts you enough, and (2) in you because, from her point of view, she believes that you are sending mixed messages. There is nothing, really, that you can do about it. If she doesn't trust you, she doesn't trust you and that is something SHE has to deal with, not you. Either you can't tolerate that lack of trust, in which case, back off and find someone else, or you are prepared to take her as she is and accept that she may never grow out of it.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 12
It's natural to be jealous, not just girls, guys as well, and the more you love, the more jealous you are. Also, we are all innately competitive, and part of jealousy is competitiveness: we want our loved one to admire us tremendously, and we don't like to think of them admiring another. Also, a relationship involves incredible intimacy, not just physical, emotional, spiritual too. We want to keep our most relationships precious; pure. The thought of something so precious being somehow compromised can be source of torment...to all of us. Not just others. Not just girls. Not just guys. Everyone. It's a frightening world, with threats everywhere...of course we guard our relationships, watch them like hawks, this is 100% natural. It's not a perfect world. In a perfect world, jealousy would not exist; and as a Christian I believe that there will come a time when jealousy will be a thing of the past, as well as all sorrow, all tears. Until then, well...I believe in marriage; I think jealousy is less intense within the sacred institution of marriage. But it still can exist even among the closest couples. On the positive side...jealousy can be a sign a person cares. After all...if they don't care...at all...then jeaousy may not exist. At all.
8 Apr 12
hey dear i have also sufferd with this kind of condition when i was with my girlfriend and sidden my phone ringed,it was the girl who was calling me and my girlfriend got really struck seeing her name........... yes i am too with you for sure...
1 person likes this
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
8 Apr 12
I understand that for some jealousy may be related with caring but I don't think people should be jealous for every little thing.
@laken02 (3065)
• United States
8 Apr 12
well the way i see it.. i can understand her feeling that way.. one she could be afraid to lose you, or two she could have low self esteem.. but i think becasue i am a jealous person myself.. that when my hubby is around other girls i want him to pay all the attention to me. its kinda like you dont want other girls to say well gosh her boyfriend was flirting with me.. i mean if he jst says hi and a little conversation im ok but if he goes to laughing and playing around with her i get mad and it ruins the rest of my day..and his.. im trying not to be so jealous but its hard.. maybe she wants more attntion from you.. becasue i think if you make a gilr feel loved all the time there is less to be jealous about as they know your feelings and are not insecure.. good luck
1 person likes this
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
Thank you. I could understand that I it didn't spent any time with her while we where there but that didn't happen. I paid way more attention to her than the other girl. I know women want attention, I understand that but this does seem a little overboard.
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
She doesn't have low esteem because I know her very well, we've known each other for about 18 years.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
8 Apr 12
Not all girls are extremely jeolous, she is not a repsentation of all girls except her own self. There is no explanation on her extreme jealousy, she could be childish or just immature mentally, that is why she acted in such a .....well, childish manner in front of you. May be she will grow up later on when time slowly passing by her.
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@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
I understand you point of view but it's not her case. She really isn't childish or immature, she has a problem with jealousy.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
8 Apr 12
No! Not all girls are jealous at all! I don't know what it feels like to be jealous. If he's going to take flight it comes from something else, not a little appetizer,but straight to dessert! I have far to much to do to be concerned with infidelity. I couldn't stop him if I tried. He's had three girls that I know of that positively threw themselves at him. He didn't even notice!
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@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
I think it's good that you don't have to worry. One of the things I want from my relationship is for the two of use to be in different places and not to worry about one another that one might cheat. I don't want this thing to come out of nowhere, I want it to be like a consequence of the fact that our relationship is so good and meaningful that we need not worry.
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
hi there, i think some girls are really born jealous LOL i think they have been feeling insecure from the past or maybe during their childhood. you can try talking to her about that and that she shouldn't be jealous because you love her and all that so she wold feel secure. and also, some boys sometimes, don't really know that they have a girlfriend and so they tend to do stupid things that can hurt their girlfriends. my boyfriend always reminds me how much he loves me that's why i don't get jealous even when i see him with a friend, and hangout with them JUST AS LONG AS IT IS NOT JUST THE TWO OF THEM and also i let him go out with his friends too. just please assure her that she can trust you. that is also another reason why girls get so jealous and insecure.
1 person likes this
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
8 Apr 12
I understand that, but I spent a lot of time with her that day and the days before. I'm sure I proved how I feel by know. I avoid being with another girl just the two of us. I don't really give her any reason to feel like that.
• China
8 Apr 12
maybe you are right. my GF always feels sad if i have done or talked something about other girl . sometimes i really do not understand why.but one obvious reason is that she does love you .
1 person likes this
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
8 Apr 12
i know that but it's a little overboard.
• United States
7 Apr 12
Yes. The majority of girls can get really jealous, more so than boys can, and the reason why is because for some reason girls always feel like they have to compete for men and they feel like they have to be the most beautiful.
1 person likes this
@lakantar (1573)
• Greece
7 Apr 12
I think it just depends on the person. Some people are meant to be jealous. The only way sorting these problems out are through talking though.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
not, just like me i am not the jealous type for example if my friends have there own boyfriend or buy some expensive jewelry or other accessories. never get hurry to get them and i do not pressure my parents to give me cash and spend it on things which s not really my priority. the type of girl that is so feel jealous and act lke a bodyguard is very insecure person and full of suspicious have a problem in terms of lack of trust with her partner. so if ever i have such friend or boyfriend i would really get annoy and i think i need to take a break just to breathe a fresh air.
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@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
7 Apr 12
Unfortunately Jealously is a dangerous game. It can cause a couple to finally break up and regardless whether its a man or woman that is jealous, it can come to a breaking point of the other partner not being able to cope with it anymore. My husband's first wife was very jealous. it was so bad that when they went to church on Sunday as they walked out of church she would imagine him looking at other women. She would start a scene in the front church parking lot. If that were not enough, after getting her and the kids in the car, he would go to back out of a parking space and have to turn his head to watch where he was going and was accused of trying to look at someone else. She has been married 6 times now and will not allow her husband to talk to any woman when the family gets together. her husband and I got in a conversation over military as we were both in and just talking and you could just see her glare at him. My mother was similar she thought dad was going to work on a date. I said Mom come on he would not bring a paycheck home. I think if it goes on in life after high school then it is like an illness. I finally gave up trying to convince her. It totally drove me insane. So to save my mental sanity I stay away from this type of people. Good Luck. Hope its just a passing high school girl thing if not, you might start watching more and making suggestions to her.
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@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
7 Apr 12
Thank you for the advice :)
@rinakitto (111)
• United States
7 Apr 12
What do you mean by "made fun of her friend"? But just as a girl myself, a teenage girl at that, I can see a lot of girls who want their signification others to only look and pay attention to them and them only. But a lot of people (not just girls) need to realize those sots of things cannot be soley focused on.
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@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
7 Apr 12
I usually make fun of people. I didn't make dirty jokes or anything, I kept the subjects to common things. There really wasn't a thing that she should have get upset in my opinion especially because she knows that's how I am. I wasn't rude or something.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
8 Apr 12
Jealous is good for lovers but too jealous is not really good at all. To explain why she was jealous, there are many reasons. Your girl friends might feel that you are too happy with her friend that you are never like that with her. Or normally your girl friend is over jealous type, she always feels insecure whenever you talk with the others gals. Try to ask her later to understand why she was like that and next time, better you may avoid it.
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@pacobid (71)
• China
7 Apr 12
Yes,almost every girl in relationship are alittle jealous.This means she care about you and sshe really loves you.When I am in love with a girl,she even does not allow me to talk to other girls.And she could send me more than 100 sms everyday.Well.I love her.I care about her very much.So I understand her feeling when you are trying to touch her friends' hand(maybe you does not mean it,but she doe) It is said that girls are more sensative than men.This is always true.Girls care about details very much.I hope my advice could be useful to you.
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@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
8 Apr 12
yes, thank you.
@Extourmed (191)
• Bulgaria
7 Apr 12
I think its all about personal esteem. If a girl hates something about herself, and someone else has it, the claws come out. If the girl is unhappy with who she is, then she will always be envious of other girls. Unfortunately , way too much of that happens nowadays.Girls should just be happy with what they have and what they are, and love themselves for it. Women are insecure by nature. Especially when it comes to their appearance. That's good for you though. It keeps her on her toes and doesn't allow her to get comfortable in the relationship. And other thing if she's jealous that means she cares for you, but if that jealousy comes between you two, then you should clear that problem up. Good luck :) !
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@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
9 Apr 12
Jealousy is rather normal now a days. Not just girls but guys as well. There are many reasons why someone would get jealous. My boyfriend is a very jealous individual. Really as long as you are not sending her mix signals there is not much you can do. But since she opened up and told you about this. She opened the door for you to talk. This is the time to tell your girl that you are in to her and not her friend. You need to reassure her. As she could be lacking confidence in herself. Or she could think the other friend is pretty than her. Like I said many reasons why someone could be jealous. But when my boyfriend reassures me that he is into me and not someone else. It makes me feel better and the twing of jealous I might of felt is gone. Keep the communitication. open.
• United States
9 Apr 12
To answer your question , no not All girls are extremely Jealous.But at least your girlfriend Did tell you. I am assuming she is threatened by Any woman you talk to. She thinks you will leave her Once you find someone " better". The sad part is if she doesn't stop, her jealousy may push you away.I wish there were something I could suggest to help her feel more secure. Good Luck.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
8 Apr 12
Not all girls are extremely jeolous, she is not a representation of all girls except her own self. There is no explanation on her extreme jealousy, she could be childish or just immature mentally, that is why she acted in such a .....well, childish manner in front of you. May be she will grow up later on when time slowly passing by her.
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
I see the correction you made here :)
@xiaoyeye (32)
• China
9 Apr 12
It's natural to become jealous not only for the issue of relationship, but anything else. I am a girl and I can understand it a lot. It looks like I dont' get jealous easily and I don't present this kind of emotion easily. But it doesn't meat that I am not jealous of anything in my heart. Sometimes I get jealous when someone around me is confirmed or rewarded, or some girls catch my boyfriend's attention. Jealousness is a improvisational feeling. I don't show it often because i can control it very well or i can comfort myself sometimes. Maybe your girlfriend present it because she doesn't like pretending or self-controling. It's not a big deal.
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
9 Apr 12
It's true she doesn't like pretending. It's also true that sometimes jealousy sneaks intro my heart without noticing it, but I can control it, I can think about it and figure some things out on my own. Unfortunately it is a big deal because it's not the first time. She's not violent or something but we get in to arguments about this a lot lately
• Philippines
7 Apr 12
Not all girls are extremely jealous but I can say that most of the girls are... Probably because they want all of the attention from their guys. As in all! And nothing except but all!
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