Communications & Trust: What Comes First?

i have to trust a person fully before i can communicate anything. trust factor is very important before i can share my thoughts and feelings with anybody.

What is the relationship you mean? If it is about friendship, a trusted friend is built over time and many communications. I can not trust you if I don't know you well. If I want to know you well I have to communicate with you. Only when I know you well enough then I will know if you can be trusted. If I trust you then of course I will communicate more with you. It is sort of like a chicken and egg situation.

From my own experience I know when communication fades, so does trust. I do not nor will automatically trust someone I meet. I do develop trust due to communication. I was married for 34 years to a man I trusted but the relationship had a communication problem because he traveled with his work. I trusted him. The communication problem lead to failure of the marriage and his cheating. No one can make another person communicate. I know because I tried to get him to talk more and tell me how he felt and what was going on. But he was secretive and that was a result of his military training. Looking back now, I know communication comes first and trust follows. Thanks for the discussion.

Trust is something that's built through sustained effort of sincere communication as we could learn to trust when we learn to know more about the person and actually having fruitful and meaningful conversations, and only then we could assume to trust that person.

For me, trust first because even if you have communications but without trust, its nothing. Even if you talk about what happened all day long and you don't trust what the other is saying, communication is nothing. But even without communication and you trust each other, your relationship is going to survive.

Hi all... Both of these principles are very important to build up a relationship. long distance or otherwise. I think both of these pillars of a relationship need to be built up simultaneously. This is the only way a couple can build up a long lasting & strong relationship that will stand the test of both time & distance... You cannot work with them in mutual exclusivity.

I agree with you. Good communication leads to trust.You can't have one without the other. It takes time to build true trust. Communication is the tool that gets you there.

In relationships there cannot really be any trust develop at all without communication. Communication is something that we all do with or without words. A loving look is a comunication or a hand on the shoulder in friendhsip. Trust comes from experience and if we connect with a person we learn to trust. I feel that it is usually already there if we have had no experience in a relationship, but we can lose trust if we are let down by another. It is something that we feel, and not something that somebody else can give us. So I would say that trust is there naturally, but most of us during our early years of life learned to distrust because of traumatic experiences. Life is about learning to trust again, as it is only our own interpretation that caused mistrust in the first place. It is quite a complex issue that I have dealt with in my clients as a therapist over the years. We are all different, but the mechanics tend to work the same. _Derek

Unless one communicates how is it possible to generate trust?Communication with a person and that too frequently can make us come to know him better and this will help us to build trust in him and vice versa.One cannot trust a person whom you are meeting for the first time unless you know him thoroughly.

Trust, I guess, is more important than communication. You see, there are couples who just cannot communicate well because of distance, or time zone issues, or even the lack of technological means. My cousin could not just call her husband anytime she fancies because her hubby has to adhere to a certain schedule. Internet is also not available all the time. In my own situation too, my BF works where there's a 5-hour gap. Our sleeping time and waking time just don't meet always. Our relationship would have gone sour if it weren't for that sense of trust that we have for each other. So it always comes first to plain communication.

Trust is the best because if there is a trust, love and faith to each other. No need to be worry even if no communication through whole year...but communication is also important to make the love stronger

i think you learn to get a mix between the two.. i would start with communication as that is a key to any relationship , and it keeps you both on the same page but you also must learn to trust your partner as well..both are very important.. but too much jealousy can ruin any relationship..

In my opinion trust is important and first when one think you are not trusty no one will comes for communication with you.

hi i cannot say which one is more improtant, tell you a story, i chat with a boy on line, so many conversation, information...but now, i found him flirt/focus with another girl, or more, even though he told it was a mistake, it's difficult to trust, myabe from the very begining there is no trust between us.

hi lucas why must one come first? why not communication and trust as what good id all the communication in the world if one or the other or both are cheaters and players. no have them together trusting an communicating. there should also be honesty and truth in that communicating otherwise how can anyone trust?

Both are important and should go hand in hand. Of course any relation starts with communication or say conversation. You start interacting and sharing things with a person, get to know the person and make out if that person is worth enough to go ahead with. Once you are clear in your mind that the person is nice to you and also comfortable sharing things, that is when you take one step ahead and start sharing your personal things with him/her and now you have developed trust on that person. Once you start sharing your day to day things, stuff which are embarrassing for you as well, then you know you have reached that point in the relation which is the last one before you are actually committed. Now this is all up to you. You can either choose to remain very good friends or go ahead and make that person your soulmate

I would prefer building trust first rather than communication. If I do not trust you most probably I will always be suspicious even when communicating. Like trying to find out what you are doing, who you are spending your time with or such sort of thing.

Hello friend, I think communications comes first. Because without communications you don't trust anyone. Have a nice day.

Its one of those which comes first questions the chicken or the egg..lol You have to comunicate to each other to build up a trust and take the relationship forward. Then again you have to go on gut instinct on trust when you do build up a good communication between both. I think people find their balance somehow. If they are in love whether long distance I am sure they have to work harder at it because you are not seeing their reactions or body language, but now a days its easier when you have msn or skype or some other messengers with cams.

Agree.Communication comes first.You must communicate with a person and then you decide whether the person is trustworthy or not.If the person is polite,honest and receptive of opinions other than his own ones,you begin trusting him or her.If there is no communication,there is no chance of trust generating for anybody.Communication gives you the reason to trust or not to trust anybody.