is it wrong to avoid my older sister??

It sounds like she is trying to be a parent, not a sister. You may need an ear to talk to if you and hubby fight, but it needs to not be her. It needs to be someone who cares about you and the relationship, and wants it to succeed. I think you should go back to your old church and some of the relationships you had there. You and your husband need to solidify your own little family.

Maybe you should talk with her, telling that whatever you say to her in strickt confidence is for her to keep and not spread. After that, if all goes well, you can mend things somewaht but don´t expect things to be as before. I think we never should tell anyone about our marriage fights. We mend up but the word spreads one way or the other.

This is exactly what my partner tells me. It's good to 'bond' with family-members but once married one must learn to 'bond' more with the mate than family. Which simply means that it's not good to tell anyone when partners fight. You see, nobody can really help you 'deal' with your life other than yourself. I think you learnt this the hard way. Anyhow, with everything said and done, I don't think I would do that again if I were in your shoes. It's okay to avoid but remember that family will always be family and the main reason why bands and groups made up of 'family' stays together or re-unites is the fact that blood is blood, you cannot really avoid them forever. I think it would be better if you don't try to avoid. But you could try to filter out what you talk to her about. You don't need to stay away totally, neither should you 'dwell' too much. But just remember that your husband is your life partner, and whatever there is between the two of you, good or bad, you should avoid spreading it to anyone - most especially family. Family will always take your side even if you are wrong. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!

No, you chose your friends but not your family :-) Often, family members are your closest friends, but it can't always work out that way. I say hello to my brother if I happen to bump into him but I never do anything with him or talk to him, we just don't have anything to talk about anymore. Some of my relatives insist on doing things together just because they are relatives, not because they have anything in common. Not keeping in close contact with your close family doesn't make you a bad person, but it might make some other people thing you are weird :-) (I don't, but I do get weird looks when people find out I have no idea what my brother's up to)

well at some point,she made a mistake about telling others about your issue with your husband but what you need to do is tell her what you feel and after then it's your choice whether you still want to have anything to do with her.I have an older sister too and we are very close ...and whatever secret we have stays within us and if we have arguments or within the family..it stays inside our walls

It is always good to be in good terms and close to ones siblings. This may however not be the case for all of us. Bonds are developed from child hood and we are closer to siblings who aren’t far apart from us with regard to age but older siblings have been through experiences that we haven’t and may be helpful in some situations. We need to keep them close.