Why do people say you should have told me?

Hi Nikhabele, I have no idea why people say that to be honest. In the example you give, I think my reaction would have been to feel very guilty if I'd been one to turn the man down from food. Not knowing this man at all, it is hard to say whether you all should feel guilty or not. It very well could be that he had circumstances (family, too many bills etc) that made it difficult for him to provide for himself even though he was working. I've known people in those situations (still do) that are actually earning more than I am and yet struggling more than I am. I don't hesitate to help if I'm able. On the flip side of that, you mentioned that he wanted to "save" his money. This tells me he wants to spend yours so he can build up his own savings. That would rub me wrong since we all want to save, don't we? What a perfect way to turn this around and get you all to help him out. He passes out from hunger and now I'm guessing everyone is feeling bad. So next time he asks for help, who is going to feel right in turning him down? Probably no one.

Erm, usually people who say 'why didn't you ask?' are people you didn't ask when you need help. I mean, there are people who have means to help in different situations. So he or she might not be able to help you now, might be able to help in future... You will never know... To those irritating people who just say so for the sake of saying, I believe it's fine if you repeat what they said back at them, if you are still angry. Otherwise, it is always good to forgive, and help whenever you can.

That little bit of information that is left out can mean alot. And it can be frustrating not knowing the information. The guy you speak of needs to get himself some food. He could get sick.

I really do think that some people just say these words to save face, to make themselves look better in hindsight. When you really think about it, people obviously want to look like they could have been some dramatic savior. Providing of course they would have asked. The thing is, these people have gotten asked in the first place. That really just makes me shake some head. People want to act like they wanted to do something. And then they didn't really do something when asked. Then again, the hypocritical nature of people keeps popping up again and again, and it is just a sad state of affairs when something like this happens. You should have told them, well some people do tell them and know what might happen.

Well, from my point of view, there may be disagreement on the subject treated by you. I for example, fortunately not currently I need help from third parties, nor economically, nor talking about food, as still living at home, at least not that I miss. From what I understood from your discussion, I believe that many people would perhaps need to be helped, but does not have dare to ask. This is also the result of my personal experience. I, however, I will always be of this opinion: If a person needs help, if I can I never exempted from help!

when people say that all the meant was that why didn't you tell us so that we can have a good laugh , the real guys who could help you should be able to discern what you are passing through